How to get over a girl & meet someone new

[chiefmac88]

If you remember me, I made the post about the girl I've worked with for a year that only "wants to be friends" but leads me on in all kinds of directions every day. It's quite obvious to me now that she won't "be mine" or even just have a roll in the hay with me. She just enjoys leading me on for whatever reason (I'm the bosses son, maybe she's thinking if I like her she has job security).

Anyway, my question is, how do I stop thinking about her all the time, dreaming about her all the time? Why do I like her so much when I know she's just toyin with me and doesn't really give 2 craps about me? Honestly, I've waited a long time to just meet a girl that I connected with, and now that I have and she doesn't want anything with me, it's hard for me to accept. I keep asking myself what is wrong with me, what does she see in these other guys that I don't have. Furthermore, how do I forget about her since I have to put up with her extreme flirtiness and games at work all day? I don't get out much, I'm not a bad looking guy, I'm sociable.

[LightOn]

Well Chiefmac88,

From what you have typed, I'm conviced that you already know that you can't have her. For that matter, that is the exact reason you're having a hard time getting over her. Everyone wants what they can not have, sad but true for almost everybody.

She flirts with you because she knows you like her, it is a confidence builder for her. She sounds like an attention wh*re, if you ever got with this girl she would prolly crave attention from the next joe while dating you, you wouldn't want that now would you? When she flirts with you, what do you do in return?

You don't get out much but your sociable? That's really not possible if you don't get out much, think about it.

[OpticalIllusion]

I tell you one thing, if she is indeed as much of an attention whore as you make her out to be, beat her at her own game. Treat her like she doesn't exist. Do NOT respond to her flirting. In fact, one fun thing you could do is flirt a tiny bit with some other girls where you work, but never this girl. It would be interesting to see her reaction to this behavior, wouldn't it?

[Mermaid]

As Optical Ilusion said, it would be good if you gave her a taste of her own medicine, if she flirts with you but you know that she is toying with you, she is simply not worth it, sometimes girls (and guys too) can be so cruel with people that they know have crushes on them, I had this experience with a guy I liked from highschool, and in the meantime he didnt know I liked him he was nice and friendly, so I felt it was time to make my move, I sent him the message I liked him with a friend of mine, and instead of making any move -or treating me normally as saying "hey thanks but Im not interested" he started to flirt and toy with me (then he ignored me and so on I was pretty young so he made me cry a couple of times..) and I know how much that hurts.. one fine day I simply got tired of that situation and I forced myself to start liking someone else, to take him out of my mind..its difficult at the beginning but trying to focus on the nice things other guys had and I liked, helped me a lot, eventually I started to forget about him, and I started liking some other guy that by coincidence was in the same class the first guy was, you wouldnt believe it, but when I started dating the new guy, the first one THEN wanted me..huh? for a long time I was thinking of him and stuff and when I finally wasnt interested about him anymore, then he started to seriously flirt with me well now it was payback time!! I sent the message that thanks but Im not interested anymore I say this could happen to you also..and if it does would you take her, after all she has made u suffer?
I say play her game, but dont believe it, and start focusing on other girls..little by little, maybe theres someone around you that is worth the try and you havent been able to see it cos youre sort of obssesed with this girl
the best of luck

[chiefmac88]

Well to LightOn, I meant that I don't get out much because of my work and basketball schedule, but overall I'm a very sociable person when I do get out. When this attention wh*re flirts with me she does things such as hugging, slapping my ass, begging me to massage her (all over). I always flirt back, but I always know she's just toying with me so I just have fun with it and roll my eyes. I've tried paying little or no attention to her, and she always thinks I'm being a jerk and gets mad. And to mermaid, that's awesome advice, thanks. But I think the reason I am into this girl is because there is nobody else right now. She's the only girl I work with, and 2 older guys. I think if I can somehow meet a girl that actually likes me, and isn't just toying with me, I'll forget all about her. Anyway thanks for the advice, it's helpful.

[Junket]

I've tried paying little or no attention to her, and she always thinks I'm being a jerk and gets mad.

GOOD

Let her get mad.

Don't baby her at all. She loves that kind of attention, don't let her pull you down with a "you're just like all the other guys" comments. She'd just do that cause she wants you to think you gotta prove that you're not like the other guys.

Be the jerk.