Is she flirting or just being a really close friend?

[ThrowawayWheeee]

So yesterday I met up with a close internet friend for the first time who've I known for over two years now. I went to her town and we had a great time, then we went back to her house and just watched a TV show we like and chilled. All day she was being really "touchy". By this, I mean she liked touching me a lot, whether it was hugging me, snuggling up and resting her head on my shoulder or even just poking me and pinching my arm now and then. She even started touching my hair and my face at one point but it still felt as though she was just joking around and being silly but I honestly have no idea. Being the inexperienced, confidence-lacking ball of shyness at I am, I just returned the same and we just ended up touching each other a lot in a friendly sort of way.

My problem, is that I still have no idea if she was touching in a flirting way or in a cute, super-friendly kind of way. If I had to guess, I'd probably wager 80% that she was flirting but I'm not, and never will be willing to risk the 20% that she's not flirting in case of ruining our friendship. All the time I was with her, I was waiting for one sure, tell-tale sign that would show me she's open to more than just friendship but whether I'm that insecure that I missed it or whether she was in the same position as I was and didn't want to make the first move either I don't know.

My questions are these: Are some girls just really touchy and intimate in a friendly way even if they don't have any sexual feelings? Also, if I did decide to risk making the first move, what would it even be? I have 0 experience with girls in the past and I'm just reluctant to throw myself at her in-case I judged wrong and it backfires.

And feel free to just shout out opinions/advice, I'm open to anything!

[toknow]

That's a very good sign. I think she is definitely interested.

She must think you are physically attractive or cute in some way.
Touching means she likes you and wants to be close to you and that's her way of showing it.
That's one of the most obvious ways of showing attraction.
This however does not mean 100% she would have sex with you. Or she might want to, but not feel like it's the right time, or place - she needs a specific setting for it to happen. Starting out a relationship with sex, is almost always a bad idea. And if this is the main thing on your mind, then you are missing something.

Yes, she might be a more open person and more comfortable with physical contact, that could be a factor also, but I still doubt that if she didn't like you she'd be touching you like that.

Touching your hair, and face very, very good signs. Goes without saying, naturally one would go for the parts they usually like, hence touching your face and hair most likely means she likes them.

[searock]

OF COURSE she was trying to get you to kiss her! You should have kissed her dude... now it may be too late, she may think that you aren't interested and/or too insecure to her liking. If you do get another date, YOU be the one to initiate physical contact: hug her when you meet, hold her hand, be flirty... and as soon as it feels right, kiss her. You have nothing to lose anyway.

[ThrowawayWheeee]

Hmm, yeah... Now it's not actually happening and I look back on it, it's more obvious. Not sure if I ruined my chances with her or not, probably just gonna be forever friend-zoned now.

Anyway, thanks for the feedback.

I appreciate this too: "Starting out a relationship with sex, is almost always a bad idea". Maybe I could just convince her I wanted to take things slow instead of jumping into anything? Idk.

[searock]

Kissing and passionately making out is NOT having sex. Dunno how you plan on convincing her you didn't kiss her because you wanted to "take things slow" (unless you're like 15). Sorry for being harsh, it's just that I think you need to wake up a little... don't be afraid of putting yourself out there, as I said, it's not like you have anything to lose.

[michelle23]

She was defo flirting. Take things slow but next time do kiss her where did the mention of sex come from? Lol just cz shes flirty does not mean shes ready to hop into bed..

[toknow]

She was defo flirting. Take things slow but next time do kiss her where did the mention of sex come from? Lol just cz shes flirty does not mean shes ready to hop into bed..

Please tell me you are not naive enough to think this all is starting just to stop at a kiss. First day, she's already all over him. Yeah, I think now is the time to talk about sex and tell of the consequences of sex at such early stage.

[searock]

Please tell me you are not naive enough to think this all is starting just to stop at a kiss. First day, she's already all over him. Yeah, I think now is the time to talk about sex and tell of the consequences of sex at such early stage.

Whuut... has it ever occurred to you that girls like to cuddle and make out even without having sex afterwards?

[michelle23]

All over him toknow? How was she all over him? They cuddled, she touched his face, pinched him and touched his arm.. That is affection-not sexual. That is how most women flirt-it might lead to a kiss yes but it doesnt in any way hint that she is ready for sex

[toknow]

To better explain: what I meant was that just because she is all over him, doesn't necessarily mean she wants to have sex with him. But, it's good for him to think of how he will proceed if sex was to happen.

[michelle23]

Id be more inclined to be much less subtle if i wanted sex.
You seemed to imply that any physical contact=sex but there is a BIG difference between affection and intimacy. They are two separate things. Yes they go together a lot BUT one does not automatically lead to the other.. Especially when two people are just getting to know each other

[searock]

This is exactly what I said she might not want to have sex, even if she looks like this is where she is going with all this cuddling, touching.

Then we (you, michelle and I) are saying the same thing. She flirted because she wanted a kiss and to cuddle and make out - we don't know whether she wanted to have sex or not.

Now is NOT the time to talk about sex, because they haven't even kissed yet. If they had made out, and then they had stopped before undressing themselves because one of them said "I'm not ready for this yet", then yes, that would have been the time to talk about sex.

[toknow]

Because none of us know exactly what she is thinking, and it could heading that direction, it's better to discuss it. Rush decisions about something as important as sex, might lead to bad consequences.

[michelle23]

Exactly. The OP did not mention anything about sex in his original post. That was not the question. He asked was she flirting-the answer is yes. Should he ask her out again and try to persue a relationship with her-again the ansswer is yes.

There is no need to mention sex righr now. They are both young and inexperienxed-so mentioning sex is not a good idea

[toknow]

That's exactly why sex should be mentioned, because they are young and inexperienced. I first mentioned it so he doesn't think just because she is all over him that she necessarily will do it at this time. I'm betting you, just give them time and it will happen, with 99% certainty. Because, both of them weren't made to stop at a kiss - that was my point. When will it happen and will something separate them before that, we don't know. Girls will cuddle, but the cuddling will only last so long. A human, is made to naturally want to see progress. That's why many people in relationships get paranoid when things go stale. So, even if girls like cuddling a lot, I don't see someone cuddling for 10 years with someone without having sex (though if we have to be precise there are exceptions)