Do I stand any chance?

[Wakeup]

Good. Next time you end a relationship-don't use her for sex. That is wrong! I don't care what anyone here says. If its over its over-which means no contact at all.

Next time she gets broken up with she shouldn't use her vagina to try and get him back. If she was giving, then most men are going to take and it's not "using" if she volunteered herself. There is no victim when sex is consentual. There is no "using" unless both are called users. She will never learn to gain self-respect if she's convinced she's the victim you paint her to be.

[michelle23]

I am not painting her as a victim but I understand how easy it is to cling onto the hope of getting back together by staying close etc.... I have never done this-I have never been heart broken but I know a lot of people do when they are heart broken and I get why.

He dumped her so he should have stayed away and made it clear its over instead of waiting for her to figure it out for herself 5 months later.

[dickriculous]

I am not painting her as a victim but I understand how easy it is to cling onto the hope of getting back together by staying close etc.... I have never done this-I have never been heart broken but I know a lot of people do when they are heart broken and I get why.

He dumped her so he should have stayed away and made it clear its over instead of waiting for her to figure it out for herself 5 months later.

You did accuse him of using her for sex so yeah, you're definitely painting her as a victim, and that's what Wakeup is disagreeing with. The implication in saying "he used her for sex" is that she didn't want to have sex with him in the first place, he coerced her into it by using her hope of getting back together against her. Now, it's possible that OP did this and if he did then yea, he's kind of an asshole. But the idea that OP played his cards that way, as far as we know with the information that he's given us, is nothing more than a blind and hyperbolic assumption. That's not an assumption/accusation that you just throw around.

[michelle23]

Why would he break up with her, continue to meet her just for sex, string her along and then all of a sudden pretend to care when she meets someone else and then five minutes later realize actually no I don't want her.. Thats what it sounds like to me. Wakeup and I disagree on a lot of things.
Ive seen friends of mine falling into this trap and the man in question was stringing her along until eventually she realized what a tool he is and moved on..

[dickriculous]

Again, you don't know he was "stringing her along", or that he was "pretending to care". For all we know, she could've been the one opening her legs as a ploy to try to get him to commit to her again, in which case she was the one trying to use him. We've all seen this happen, yet even if we know it to be the case many of us will still try to paint a picture of the woman being the victim. We don't have enough information to know if this is true or if OP used her so according to an unbiased reader both possibilities are equally likely. And that's assuming that either of those things happened, we don't even know that much.

[michelle23]

Well he being the dumper and she being the dumpee-he should have stopped contact 5months ago.

[dickriculous]

Maybe it's a difference in cultures or something but I've been dumped before too and when it happened to me I was told that I was the one who had to initiate the no contact rule. And I guarantee you that if I didn't listen to them and things went bad somehow nobody would've talked about me like I was a victim, they would've talked about me like I was a dumbass.

[michelle23]

I dont think its a difference in culture, i am from ireland where men and women are 100% equal. I am just trying to put myself in her shoes here. Its hard to think straight and make the right decisions if you are stilk very hurt

[Wakeup]

Whether you're hurt or not your personal boundaries should always be in place. If she has no personal boundaries in her repetoire one being not screwing a man who is not committed to her as being one, then this type of thing will keep happening to her. Making excuses for her and allowing her to think she is not responsible for her own actions is called "enabling" and it facilitates the stagnating of her personal growth if she (you?) starts believing that she's not responsible for her choices.

[michelle23]

But he is also responsible for his. He should have stayed away

[Wakeup]

You are STILL blaming him for her choices she has free will. She should have stayed away as well.

[michelle23]

They are both wrong but he is worse as he dumped her but still went back time and time again to get his leg over. We already no women are more emotional thanmen and sex is usually a way of showing love but it sounds like it was just a fk to him which makes him a dweed in my eyes

[michelle23]

Some men (rare exceptions) dont believe in no strings attached sex and if she wanted more but he wanted less than he shud have had the integrity to say no

[dickriculous]

if she wanted more but he wanted less than he shud have had the integrity to say no

You're still ignoring something that has already been pointed out and explained to you twice in this thread. I'll remind you yet again, if she wanted more, and she continued sleeping with him with that in mind, then essentially she was using sex as a means to try and get him to commit back to her. She was using her vagina to try and get him to do what she wanted him to. That's not him using her, that's her trying to use him and failing. The only reason anyone believes otherwise is because we spend our entire lives being brainwashed into thinking that women are perpetual victims of "evil" and "degrading" masculinity and a great many of us lord this notion around with no regard to the reality of the situation. You are apparently one of them, in fact you're quite possibly the worst case of one who's ever posted on these boards.

[Wakeup]

Some men (rare exceptions) dont believe in no strings attached sex and if she wanted more but he wanted less than he shud have had the integrity to say no

Some women don't believe in fvking a guy who is not committed to her, even if she still wants to be with him. It is women like that that more times then not get what they want because they actually know what the want and they don't dis-assemble their own personal boundaries to get it. More men then not, respect that conviction from a woman.

He is no worse then her. I'll add that as far as integrity goes, she IS worse because she's currently stringing another guy along while she continues to be in touch with the OP and has told him she still loves him. She's currently using new guy as a filler. Poor new guy.

She says that she still loves me and prefers me to the new man in her life

What a "C" she is to New man.