What Approach Is Best..?

[whatname]

K, yes i have been wanting to ask this one girl out and i havent yet because i feel no rush and nor do i think it is the most appropriate time atm..( for anyone whos read my two topics and is asking, why is he still here?! )

Some background to the situation..

So i have a class with this one girl, i got some kind of chemical reaction to her looks and i really want to ask her out. The class is only for 50 mins and meets only twice a week, we have seating charts which we cannot violate, and she sits far away ( she doesnt even know me).

What does this mean? Means i cant really interact with her or get to know her in anyway possible, so if i ask her out it would have to be as a stranger.

Now..my question is, what approach ( what things should i do) would be best if lets say i were to ask you out, what would be a nice way in your opinion? of course the obvious answer for some might be, just do it, but i really want to do this well.. here are 2 main questions..

1. WHat should i say?
2. how should i say it?

I was planning to say something that would send her the message that i think she is very cute and caught my attention without making her feel awkward and without making it seems like its a hobby of mine to ask people out this way..while also transmitting honesty and comfort...

Can you help me with the specifics?

Also, i was planning to give her my email so that she can email me if shes interested or simply forget about it if not, i just dont think that if i ask her out on the spot that i would have any kind of a shot, id give her the choice to email me...I of course wouldnt request an immediate answer, and much less HER contact info...and i wouldnt give my phone because she could be shy, email really would be key imo.

[basilandthyme]

If you take your time, she may well get snapped up by another first. That's of course if she doesn't already have a boyfriend.

I'd probably respond well to something similar to "I've seen you around and I've been wanting to get to know you". And do ask for her number - it's customary for you to call/text her first.

[whatname]

Thanks for the input, the problem i have with asking for her number though is that i feel that since she doesnt know me, maybe asking for it would be an intrusion, so i would instead give her mine..

Its customary for me to call first i suppose because its a given to many that you should have that courtesy but wouldnt u agree it could be a bit intrusive to ask for her number when she might not be sure?

[Boisdevie]

Can you help me with the specifics?

No. YOu have to grow up and learn how to do this all by yourself. Just imagine for a split second that you're a mature, confident adult and go from there. But that's not going to work is it because you're here asking us to detail exactly what to do.

[basilandthyme]

Thanks for the input, the problem i have with asking for her number though is that i feel that since she doesnt know me, maybe asking for it would be an intrusion, so i would instead give her mine..

Its customary for me to call first i suppose because its a given to many that you should have that courtesy but wouldnt u agree it could be a bit intrusive to ask for her number when she might not be sure?

You suppose it's customary for you to call first? OF COURSE IT'S FRIGGIN' CUSTOMARY FOR YOU TO CALL FIRST!!! Most girls like a guy who's confident. And confidence starts with having the balls to ask for her number.

Yes, it's possible she may say "no" to you asking for her number. But if she won't give you her number, then she was never going email you anyway.

[pcmaster]

Email because she might be shy? I think you are the shy one. Just go and speak to her - about anything. Doesnt matter what you say, whats matter is the voice tone and confidence in your speech. That alone would be good start and get to know her like a classmate. Not nessesary to say straight away I like you or ask if she have a BF.

Start with breaking the ice by just simply talking to her as much as you can.


Asking her out - where would you go with her if she said yes? Im asking just for a laught.

[whatname]

Although i agree that in part, my way of seeing how to do this does have links with me being shy, theres more to it.

@ bois, i understand your point, but im asking for pointers in order to build ideas, just because i may be confident, and what i may consider mature, doesnt mean that what i am doing doesnt have any flaws in many areas, its a collection of ideas, if i was a bit more confident about this i would be better, but asking for help, specially the type i was thinking of is no sin.

@ basil, i said i suppose because i am against many of the socially created ideas of what someone HAS to do in order to do things right. I guess i come from a perspective where i am trying to be understandable in that she might need a bit of time to think about it instead of putting a stranger on the spot, although i think you make a point with that if i was more confident, my performance would really help, and that all of this really shows my shyness, i cant say my idea about it is invalid..I wouldnt expect her to tell me, sure we can go out, and i will give u my personal information, specially considering we are strangers, it would rely alot on my looks and confidence which i think albeit good, might be a bit risky, so i dont see why not be confident, AND give her the freedom of time for decision.

@ pcmaster well theres no way for me to talk to her in class, or before it, only way is after class as she heads out, although i think it isnt neccessary to say i like her, i think its obvious and can only help if transmitted correctly, no?

Well this is in college, i wouldnt tell her any specifics although i would imply going out to a starbucks or some lounge or food place in the campus..

My scenario was ask her out and get a response later, but i suppose the more accepted scenario here is either wait for an immediate answer?

[pcmaster]

Actually a place to eat is good for first date cause if you cant talk you can at least eat.

However looks like your best option is to catch her after the class. Again not nessesary ask her out in your first sentence break the ice first. She might be confused at first(imagine that nice girl sudennly starts to talk with you - is she talking to me?) Give her a random compliment and she will understand why are you talking to her. As long as she keeps smiling keep going. But if she turns her shoulder or back against you and not smiling anymore than shes getting cold on you.

[whatname]

Ya, the university we go to has a very nice hall where people can sit and watch tv, eat, use the internet, play billiards, etc, we could peacefully sit and talk in one of the nice seats or something..

Yes it is the best option to ask her after class mainly because it is the only option.

A random compliment? Indeed, I was planning to introduce my self, compliment her so that she understands why im there, and talk to her in a comfortable way until she understands my intent...

[michelle23]

Stop thinking so much. Just go for it.. Be confident. Say "hey my name is _____, can i walk you to your next class? Smile, chat, ask "are you doing anything later?" If she says no- "would you like to go ______ with me"? If she says yes, say "thats a pity, can I get your number and we can try to make plans for another night?"

You have nothing to lose-its either a yes or no. Just do it!

[basilandthyme]

Whatname, ok don't ask for her number. But don't be surprised if she doesn't initiate contact with you.

[ashley89]

if you don't ask for her number how are you ever gonna start talking to her? it isn't an intrusion, that's how people get to know each other and make plans for dates. and if she says no, ok it might be a little bit of a blow and you'll feel bad but at least you'll know she isn't interested instead of obsessing and worrying about it. and if she says yes that's good! either way you won't find out unless you try :]

[smackie9]

OK this will be easy. You do have opportunity between classes, so all you have to do is fight for position. Outside of class rush past her, but make sure you lightly bump into her, get in front of her turn, say sorry, turn away, then do a double take, smile at her say hi, and then say hey you are in my class, what's your name? There that's your first initial contact. If you can't figure it out from there, then you need to go practice on some other girls to build confidence. Girls are attracted to confidence.

Tip: never think that you are out of a girl's league. You will be surprised that these hot girls are just like everyone else.

[whatname]

Im not willing to wait a million years to try out with others just to try out on her. I can build enough confidence to ask her out plain and simple, your approach might work if i was some kind of matt damon hunk but im not THAT either...coming up to her and asking her out in some good way is the best option for me perhaps.

But to faint a situation like that and then proceed to ask her out like that perhaps is a bit too far for me, I'm a 7/10 in looks and not the best in that form of communication, dont think i have the exact tools for that kind of feint.

[toknow]

First thing you should do before you ever talk to her, when you see her and she looks at you, smile at her. That tells her right away without words you are "friendly" toward her. Don't do anything else then, and leave it at that. Next time you see her you can do a bit more. Eye contact and a nice smile, very important. Make sure she sees the spark in your tooth...lol.