Do I stand any chance?

[junction47]

I finished with my girlfriend about 5 months ago because I was unsure whether or not I loved her - she was devastated. We saw each other occasionally until early January sometimes having sex when she met another bloke. As soon as I knew this it made my mind up immediately. I have since told her I love her and want her back.

She says that she still loves me and prefers me to the new man in her life but cannot risk getting back with me just in case I have a change of mind again and she goes through having a broken heart again. I then said maybe its best if we have a clean break and not talk, meet or text which she went mental about saying that I only ever think about myself. I've even offered to marry her and she said no. Every time I see her she hugs me.

Do I have any chance at all of winning her back? Is there anything I can do to convince her that I mean business this time?

Any replies would be most appreciated.

[VincenzoG91]

I don't think that you really want her back. You feel possessive, but if you really loved her, you wouldn't have broken up with her five months ago. It's not like either of you has really had time to change, either.

[junction47]

Yeah, you're probably right, but it really doesn't feel like that at the moment.

Thanks for the input buddy.

[basilandthyme]

Ppft, she won't take you back... but is angry at you requiring no contact to get over her. Methinks that she's also adept at only thinking about herself.

[Wakeup]

You were unsure you loved her? What other than the fact that some other guys junk has melded with her junk makes you think you love her now?

She won't go back with you because she's afraid you'll leave her again but she wants to keep you on a short leash and in her uncommitted limbo with her. Pfffft is right.. drop the games, tell her goodbye and find someone who you are SURE you love and wouldn't dare leave. Being in a half-assed "friendship" with her is just stagnating you to her and the hoops she now dicates you jump through.

[dickriculous]

You sound bi-polar with this love thing lol. "I'm sorry I broke up with you 5 months ago, the truth is I love you so take me back right away...oh shit you said no, well then we need to never talk to each other again...wait no will you marry me?"

My advice to you....stop going crazy, THEN worry about women.

[junction47]

You were unsure you loved her? What other than the fact that some other guys junk has melded with her junk makes you think you love her now?

She won't go back with you because she's afraid you'll leave her again but she wants to keep you on a short leash and in her uncommitted limbo with her. Pfffft is right.. drop the games, tell her goodbye and find someone who you are SURE you love and wouldn't dare leave. Being in a half-assed "friendship" with her is just stagnating you to her and the hoops she now dicates you jump through.

Thank you that is sage advice.

[michelle23]

1/ you should not have broke up with her if you were unsure.
2/. You should not have slept with her after the break up.
3/. There should have been no contact. Between you.
4/. You only want her now coz someone else has her
5/. Stop being selfish and leave her alone!

You have been very unfair to her. You broke her heart, continued to sleep with her knowing she was upset and vulnerable, gave her false hope for 5months, and when she has finally accepted its over- you try to get her back.

You have really messed up here, she wont forgive you and you need to stay away from her so she can deal with the loss and move on with her life.

You may regret all this now but its too late!

[Wakeup]

1/ you should not have broke up with her if you were unsure.
2/. You should not have slept with her after the break up.
3/. There should have been no contact. Between you.
4/. You only want her now coz someone else has her
5/. Stop being selfish and leave her alone!

You have been very unfair to her. You broke her heart, continued to sleep with her knowing she was upset and vulnerable, gave her false hope for 5months, and when she has finally accepted its over- you try to get her back.

You have really messed up here, she wont forgive you and you need to stay away from her so she can deal with the loss and move on with her life.

You may regret all this now but its too late!

Personally i don't see where she's such a victim. She should have told him to fk off and leave her alone if she didn't want to demoted to uncommitted sex partner. She supplemented with him until she found someone who would commit to her. Time for them both to cease all contact with one another and get on with their perspective lives.

Thank you that is sage advice.

Then put it into action and don't respond to her contact and don't initiate any further contact with her. Time for a new adventure.

[michelle23]

Its easy to say that but she was prob hear broken, insecure, vulnerable etc. Trying to cling to him in the denial stage as it is hard to let go but she has finally woken up

[Wakeup]

Yes... I agree she probably was heartbroken but she's still not a "victim" if she volunteered to be demoted to non-committed sex partner.

she has finally woken up

I don't think so. By the sounds of it... her still contacting him even when in a new relationship, she hasn't learned much about self-respect or "woken up much at all" In fact, she's in a relationship and still telling Op she loves him but won't go back with him. She's trying to use two men now... I feel sorry for the new guy as she uses him to her selfish ends while trying to still hold onto Op. And no, none of what I just said means I think Op is an innocent. I'm just not as ready to paint him the sole evil doer in this situ.

[HeartIsAching]

I don't think that you really want her back. You feel possessive

Pretty much what jumped out at me.

[keonigt]

Looks like she finally realizes.

[junction47]

Thanks for all the replies people. I probably don't really want her although I've never been the possessive type before. But I've decided to leave her alone and I feel quite a bit better for reading the responses.

[michelle23]

Good. Next time you end a relationship-don't use her for sex. That is wrong! I don't care what anyone here says. If its over its over-which means no contact at all.