1+ year and no "I love you"

[Bulletbiter]

We both struggle with it. We have even discussed how we struggle with saying it because in our past rships we both felt it was forced. We are so similar in that sense where actions speak louder etc. All this has been wonderful to share with each other and yet i realised all of this has only made the "I love you" MORE difficult to say.

Ive been with him for a little over a year, neither one us have said it. I am struggling to say it first BUT i do love him. I also know he struggles to say it too but i know he does through indirect things he has said and done.

I can live with it - well without it haha but i can't help but feel how odd it is that we cant say this to each other!

Thoughts?

[HeartIsAching]

Bumping for Wakeup.

[Kromat83]

Write it on paper and pass it to him, that might relieve the stress.
I find, if you say it with your heart, it just comes out naturally.
I've only been together with my girl for just over 1 month, and have said it multiple times.

[ashley89]

Write it on paper and pass it to him, that might relieve the stress.
I find, if you say it with your heart, it just comes out naturally.
I've only been together with my girl for just over 1 month, and have said it multiple times.

no...

I think that if you feel that he does love you too through his actions, I would say it to him first. you have been together a year which is a decent amount of time and I think you are able to gauge the situation at this point. if he is showing it through how he treats you and you say you believe he feels the same, what do you have to lose? he may be relieved and happy you said it because he feels the same way too. there isn't really another way to find out or to get it out in the open without saying it, unless you want to keep waiting to see what happens.

[Bulletbiter]

Thanks guys, I hear what you are all saying and you are right.

[pcmaster]

Life is too short not to say things like I love you and I like you. Because how many people there is in this life that you actually say these things about and it would be true? So why not let them know? Its the stupiest thing to do not say it.

Just cut the bullshit and say it, cause life is short and these words(I love you), might lose meaning sooner than you think.

For example: As kid my mother many times said I love you to me, but I never answered and she stop't saying that. I did love her but she never really knew that cause I said: "I rather wana live with my father." And she never forgot that.

Later in life I met amazing girl. She was there for me in the darkest times(no money for food, drug adiction, depts, workaholism, mental breakdown, - just name a few) but with her even hell would seem like paradize. Yet she was waiting for me to say these 3 simple words. There was so many perfect oportunities to say it. I once even hear she said to her work coleage who was talking shit behind my back that she loves me.

Until one day she had enought and I never saw her again. Than crying alone in the dark I did say I LOVE YOU many times but it did not matter anymore these words where meaningless without any impact.

Than I finally understood the meaning of these words. Called my mother and said them. Took me all my life(23 years) - to say it to my own mother. Maybe thats why I couldnt say it before to a girl.

Life is just too short to not to say it. If there is someone who makes you feel love than this person deserves to know. And you deserve tho say it.

[Cerby]

Ive been with him for a little over a year, neither one us have said it. I am struggling to say it first BUT i do love him.

Take the leap and just say it, don't get caught holding your feelings because it feels awkward. The more you say it with meaning behind it the easier it will get. These words can be tough to say, I struggle with saying it 2 years into a relationship, but I do say it, and I do mean it.

Like PCMaster said, life is too short to not say it.

[chammie]

yeah it should come out naturally from both of you... it is never said because it has to be said but because YOU ARE ACTUALLY LOSING ALL MEANS OF DOING IT... i say it like a sigh of relief when I know my acts are not enough to express how much i love my partner..when i have done everything and i feel like what i did to make him feel loved is not enough..

[michelle23]

lol my bf tricked me into saying it by asking me a bunch of questions with a cheeky smile on his face.. oh good times... I said it first in the end. he needed to hear me say it first because men have this BIG fear of rejection lol. Just say it!!

[Wakeup]

Bumping for Wakeup.

lol

OP: Get the book "The Five Love Languages" and read it together. Perhaps during your reading you'll both have an epiphany. In the meantime google it and get an idea about what you'll be reading.

I'll add.. when you have children, make sure you tell them "I love you" every night when you kiss them goodnight. They'll learn to not be afraid of words of affirmation.

Cheers

[basilandthyme]

If he got hit by a bus today, would you regret not having told him?

If so, there's the answer of what you should do.

[Rowen]

Saying those words is like jumping out of a plane with no pilot and not knowing if your parachute is going to work. Now, you can wait forever without saying it, and that plane will go down with you on it... And then you'll never know what could have been because you'll be in the fiery wreckage of the outcome. There is a chance that plane could land safely, but that's so rare that it borders on a miracle. OR... You can take the jump. Now, maybe your parachute won't open (the guy won't feel that way/say it back) and you'll fall and die...but maybe, just maybe if he seems to feel this way...that parachute will open and you'll get a lovely view of the world below as you slowly float towards the ground (In other words, that guy will say it back). That is, unless you're like me and terrified of heights... x.x

But anyway, life is too damn short to wonder. Say it and get it over with. No one gets out of life alive, anyway.

[Bulletbiter]

Life is too short not to say things like I love you and I like you. Because how many people there is in this life that you actually say these things about and it would be true? So why not let them know? Its the stupiest thing to do not say it.

Just cut the bullshit and say it, cause life is short and these words(I love you), might lose meaning sooner than you think.

For example: As kid my mother many times said I love you to me, but I never answered and she stop't saying that. I did love her but she never really knew that cause I said: "I rather wana live with my father." And she never forgot that.

Later in life I met amazing girl. She was there for me in the darkest times(no money for food, drug adiction, depts, workaholism, mental breakdown, - just name a few) but with her even hell would seem like paradize. Yet she was waiting for me to say these 3 simple words. There was so many perfect oportunities to say it. I once even hear she said to her work coleage who was talking shit behind my back that she loves me.

Until one day she had enought and I never saw her again. Than crying alone in the dark I did say I LOVE YOU many times but it did not matter anymore these words where meaningless without any impact.

Than I finally understood the meaning of these words. Called my mother and said them. Took me all my life(23 years) - to say it to my own mother. Maybe thats why I couldnt say it before to a girl.

Life is just too short to not to say it. If there is someone who makes you feel love than this person deserves to know. And you deserve tho say it.

I just got goosebumps, thank you for that... : )

[Bulletbiter]

lol

OP: Get the book "The Five Love Languages" and read it together. Perhaps during your reading you'll both have an epiphany. In the meantime google it and get an idea about what you'll be reading.

I'll add.. when you have children, make sure you tell them "I love you" every night when you kiss them goodnight. They'll learn to not be afraid of words of affirmation.

Cheers

Ok will do....lol : )

[toknow]

It is very good that you don't take these words lightly. That means that when you say it, you will really mean it. Don't force it. It will come naturally when the time is right you will have to say it. It's like a poet, has to write a poem because he is so in love with a girl and holding those emotions inside would be too difficult to bare.