Need perspective after break up..is it time to move on?

[milkis90]

I would really appreciate if someone would take time to read this and give me a male perspective on it. Sorry for the long post >.<

So here comes background information:
We dated for just about 6 months. Im 22 and he is 23. We go to the same University and this is our last year. Everything was going great, and we saw eachother 2-4 times a week. He was always kind to me, and we never had a really serious fight. We have the same perspective on things in life and we were really good together. We always laugh a lot, and he said many times he always feel happy when with me and that he loves me. All the way up to the break up he never pushed me away, and always were cuddely and wanted to hold hands and have sex.

What happend:
I tought everything was going fine in our relationship. Last time we saw eachother was maybe our best day and night ever in my opinion. I felt so close to him. Then I went on a skiing trip one weekend about 2 weeks ago. On friday he said he missed me. On saturday he said he couldn`t wait to se me again and told me how much he cared about me. But on sunday, after I got home, he broke up with me out of the blue. He said that his feelings werent where they should be, and that he just weren`t that in love with me anymore. Then he cried like a baby, and allthough I was crushed I almost ended up comforting him. He was really upset and usally he has good control over his feelings. I never even seen him upset before. He said he hated himself and that he didn`t want to hurt me because he loved me so much and there was nothing that I had done but he just weren`t sure about us anymore. I made it clear that I didn`t want it to end, and that it was really bad news for me that he felt that way. But I made it clear I didnt carry grudges or was mad at him in any way. I said I didn`t have a bad word to say about him when he said he was scared my friends would come after him, so why should they. And I told him I loved him. When it was time to say goodbye non of us wanted to leave (we were out walking). I had to be the one to leave while he was left crying.

So my questions:

Him being so upset.
Can he still have feelings for me, or was it only really hard for him to hurt me?

Can he be scared?
When this semester ends we will both be leaving our current town. He has already made arrangements on a job and is moving back to his hometown. I`m not sure where I`m going and haven`t seemed to eager to come with him when he leaves because I`m not sure there`s any work for me there. I have expressed concerns about this situation latley, but said I didn`t want to let him go. And when he broke up with me he said he had thought about my concerns. I think maybe he just didn`t see a future? He said something about better ther relationship ending now then later.

He got scared #2
When I said earlier that we had the best night ever it was because we talked all night about our relationship and explained how we were as persons and what we needed in a relationship (you know women love those talks). I felt so close to him and we held eachother for hours. I expressed concerns about him sometimes being somewhat absent when we talk, I know he has a lot of pressure with school and work and was stressed because he felt he couldn`t give me all the time I needed. I told him I didnt need that much of his time, but him being present and aware in the conversation when we actually talk and spend time toghether is important to me. He agreed and said he understood and I thought everyting was fine. We continued the talk with many "happier" subjects, and he said he wanted to take me to the familiy lake house soon and other stuff we should do together and we talked about our past and future. This is the last real talk we had before the break up. That morning everything was perfect, we said we couldn`t wait to see eachother again after my trip. But now I think maybe this conversation scared him? Maybe he was afraid he couldn`t make me happy? Or maybe he was scared because I really opened up to him and there was to much information to prosess? He said during the break up that he had given this conversation a lot of tought.

Or can it be that he just fall out of love with me overnight and I`m overanalyzing?

Should I move on or is there still hope for us?

[Boisdevie]

Or can it be that he just fall out of love with me overnight and I`m overanalyzing?

You got it in one. He was probably just getting up the courage to dump you. Never mind. Most of us get dumped at one time or another. You'll live.

[michelle23]

If he cried and seemed so upset etc that could be guilt. Maybe he was messing around with someone else when you were away and didn't have the balls to tell you. Maybe hes afraid of commitment, maybe hes a love junkie and only sticks around until the honey moon phase fades, maybe he has a fear of getting hurt, maybe he is still in love with an ex. could be 100 different things but so what? either way he dumped you so you should just forget him, move on.

i have a rule-never go backwards. keep moving forward

[smackie9]

He was hit on by some real hottie. So hot in fact that he quickly decided that he couldn't miss out on an opportunity like this..... or he messed up and slept with someone he met at a party.

[smackie9]

I'm gonna go with the latter....that would explain the guilty crying and the worry that your friends would go after him.....it's because he did something real bad.

[milkis90]

He was infact at a party that saturady before the break up, and the thought have crossed my mind. But why would he make up a whole story if that was the case?

[Wakeup]

He's moving back to his hometown and he doesn't see a future with you is my GUESS only because of this:

We know a guy who did what your ex did. Lived with a girl all through uni, was very fond of her, enjoyed their times together but never did he ever have any intentions of making her is wife. He cried when he dumped her too because she was a decent girl who cared for him and it was hard to say goodbye.

I suggest you don't make yourself a wreck dwelling on the why's. Just accept that it was a fling that has come to an end so that you'll start to process of getting over the loss of the relationship and will be open to meeting a man who will have intentions of making you his wife one day.

Don't regret a thing. It was good while it lasted and now it's done.

[smackie9]

He was infact at a party that saturady before the break up, and the thought have crossed my mind. But why would he make up a whole story if that was the case?

Some guys are afraid to tell the truth.

[rhondagraymond]

there's more to the story. some strong reason for him to take this step.