I don't find my husband interesting

[IndiReloaded]

There's a great book called "how to date your wife". You can try that. Didn't help me, but your husband sounds motivated to make you happy, so you should be able to find something together. Good luck!

[deepd61]

agree with HARVEY23'

[78Desantos]

Maybe you are on a situation that you do not know what you want. it is not right to hang out with other person when you know you are married, it would be unfair for your husband, after all he loves you very much and treats you like his baby. Why not talk to him sincerely what you want him to be? tell him that you feel bored when you talk to him, that you found him uninteresting? I am sure he would make a way just to make you happy, he would change just for you. In a relationship, particularly in marriage, communication plays a big role. It is very important so that you can develop a close relationship. you talk with each other, tell each other your likes and dislikes, be open with each other and then you will see the difference.

[Wakeup]

Hi all,
Thank you for the replies. Yes, getting married now was not my idea and I would have liked some more time being independent and figuring things out. But now I am married and my husband is a good guy. Getting divorced is not an option. Not now atleast. He would be crushed if I did something like that and I don't have the heart to immediately cut the chords just cos I don't find him that interesting.

I am so confused though. I know I cannot change my husband's personality, but what do I do to make the marriage more fun? Maybe things would be better if we had a social circle? Or should we try finding a hobby together? I don't know...very frustrating

Print out this thread for him and tell him the opening poster is you. I have a feeling he doesn't even know how unsatisfied you are feeling with him. At the very least you owe him the truth so that he has a chance to redeeem himself. Don't widen the emotional gulf with him by continuing to look so highly upon and spending alone time with the man at work you find yourself feeling good around.
Try reading together "Getting the Love You Want" after he's been made aware of how you are feeling.

Good luck, it can't be easy being forced to marry someone not of your choosing and whom you haven't been given the opportunity to even get to know prior to the nuptuals.

[Boisdevie]

it can't be easy being forced to marry someone not of your choosing and whom you haven't been given the opportunity to even get to know prior to the nuptuals.

I'd say it was ****ing crazy. But then the world is full of idiots.

[Illusional]

can i ask what is your ethnic background?

raverboy

[bluesummer]

You should talk to him and tell him your concerns. Then try to find something to do together that will be 'your thing' and will give you some common ground to talk about. Try to get him interested in some of the things you like, and take an interest in his hobbies too.

My husband and I didn't have an arranged marriage, but I initially started dating him because he was the nicest guy I'd ever met and he treated me so well. Everybody told me I was so lucky to have guy that loved me so much, and I felt they must be right! We didn't have a ton in common, but over the years we started immersing ourselves into each other's interests and sort of took them on. We are still very different and sometimes it's frustrating, but it also gives me something AWAY from my marriage, just for me. Love isn't about being alike. It's complimenting each other's personalities. I have guy friends that are more outgoing and boisterous like me, and sometimes I think "I should be married to a guy like that!", but then I realize they are okay in small doses.....I couldn't be around it all the time. I don't want to marry myself.

It can work. If he really loves you, he will do his best to make it work, but you have to want to as well. I think you do, so give it a shot (and keep this guy @ work as just a friend, don't do anything you may regret later).

[sicilian1645]

Time for you to move on !!!

[michelle23]

I think you should try to get to know him. Ask him to "date" you properly. You cant marry a stranger and then act as if you have known each other for years. The only other option is to walk away, get divorced, fall in love properly and eventually marry someone else..

[bleucandle]

Arranged marrriages don't go over as expected. 3 months and then marriage? Ar you serious? You have a right to be happy, but you can't force him to make you happy in all the areas you need him to. You got married out of pressure, which is always a mistake, and then it breeds resentment. Love and resentment are two different sides of a mirror.

You need to evaluate your position. If the minuses outweigh the pluses, and you understand that you cannot make someone be who you want them to be, then the only think that needs to change, is your position. Marriage is a work in progress, but it doesn't have to start 3 months after you meet someone.

[vashti]

Arranged marriages actually enjoy a much lower divorce rate than do marriages in which one chooses their own spouse, whether that be for cultural reasons, or just the simple fact that parents often know what is good for their child over time.

To the original poster: I think it is a good idea to try to broaden your social circle and find common hobbies. It's hard to find a good man, so I think you should make every effort to hang on to one who is.

[HeartIsAching]

Old thread.

[bleucandle]

Arranged marriages don't seem to be as common in the US as they are in other countries, specifically, the Middle East

[vashti]

Old thread.

UGH. I wish they'd lock old, inactive threads.

[bleucandle]

Nice. haha