concerned about his porn use

[special k]

I'm worried about my husband's porn habit. He seems to be using it as his main sexual outlet. He seems to not be very interested in sex unless he watched porn before getting intimate. He used to watch it for hours on end, sometimes up to 5 hours at least every other day, until i made it clear i was not okay with that. He then reduced it, but still watches it a couple times a week for up to 5 hours on end.) He doesn't get off to it and wants to have sex with me afterwards, but it seems like if porn isn't there, his interest for me plummets (when i just moved in and he stopped watching it for like a year, he only wanted sex once a week or less, opposed to now several times a week every time after he watches porn).
This is really weird to me because usually the less porn a guy watches, the more sexually active he becomes and the more sex he wants. This situation is the opposite.
I have to mention he has ED from medication he needs for his condition, but says it has nothing to do with him watching porn. Also, I'm high drive, never turn down sex, and i'm fit and attractive.
I used to have to literally beg for sex in the first year of our marriage (sure it was frequent at first, but went down really soon from every other day to sometimes less than once a week). That was when he took a break from porn. He kept telling me he couldn't do it that often because of his ED, which both affected his libido and his performance. When i gave him the green light to watch porn, he started doing it hour after hour day after day. How is that low libido and desire? Why is it only low when it comes to having sex with me, but not watching porn?

Please help, I'm lost here, I feel like porn is his primary outlet of sexual satisfaction, when to me it makes more sense for him to be primarily interested in sex with me, without the porn having to be in the picture everytime.

[searock]

I think you should see a sex therapist together. There's nothing much you can do by yourself.

[vashti]

Ugh. If my husband watched that much porn, I would consider it an act of hostility. He can't seriously think it's okay to consistently deny you what you need. He needs to get help, or quite honestly, I would tell him I wanted a lover..

[PradaChanel]

Hours? He has a problem and I can see how that makes you feel less desired by him. He needs help or you need to move on to a lover like Vashti said. If thats not an option, then you need to move on all together if he not willing to seek help for his obsessive behavior.

[dem862]

Since he doesn't get off to it, it sounds like he uses it to get in the mood. Which explains why it makes him want sex more when he watches it instead of less. He does seem to have a libido problem. Since he is taking medications, you should discuss it with his physician first. One you rule out any medical cause, then you might consider something psychological.

[special k]

why are my posts not going through?

[special k]

whenever i make a post that has at least 3 lines it doesn't show. wtf

[phantom694u]

This is a relevant question: what kind of porn does he watch? Is it just straight sex or is it something unusual? The reason why this is important is that you have to determine if he is seeking something that he cannot have in your relationship. For example, I don't watch porn much, but I love threesome porn. I find it really hot watching two cocks going into a woman. But in real life, I would NEVER participate in a threesome, because I would never want another man touching my woman! So for me, it's an erotic fantasy that can never happen, and it doesn't interfere with anything because it can never happen in real life. But if your husband is watching big boobs and ass, and sex with different women, then it is more alarming because he might secretly desire those activities. In that case, you need to see a therapist and try to get that porn out away from him.

[smackie9]

I agree it's time to pay a visit with his doctor .....it's possible he has low T (testosterone). Guys usually avoid the doctor because to them it means more bad news. Like little boys you have to be the mom and make the appointment and go with them.

[sssspanos]

Try to watch with him and make it a game for both. If he doesn't want you, well it gets more serious... On the other hand it's a good think all this leads to sex with you.

[special k]

yeah i don't want to watch it really, it grosses me out
as for the kind of porn he watches, he just looks at pictures of naked women a lot of the time. also amateur and POV porn. you say sex with different women but isn't that what porn is all about?

[special k]

by the way i would really love to respond to posts here but this forum is being really buggy and it doesnt show my posts

[dickriculous]

Also, I'm high drive, never turn down sex, and i'm fit and attractive.

If you're looking for a boytoy to give you what your husband apparently can't I'm coming back to the states in June.

Just thought I'd throw that out there.

[michelle23]

This is classic porn addiction which will most likely lead him down the dark road of sex addiction if you don't put a stop to it now. It is not healthy for him or you or your relationship. My bf never watches porn. He has never had much interest in it (even when he was a teenager) and our sex life is amazing. A healthy man in a relationship with a women who has a high sex drive should not be bothered with porn. He needs help. Go to marriage counselling, sex therapy, hypnosis.. Whatever it takes. Otherwise your husband will end up paying for the things he is obsessed with on the screen which will most likely end in divorce. I'm not exaggerating here. His obsession with porn is a major issue and it wont get any better. It will get worse if you don't do something about it now.

[michelle23]

Look up porn addiction and sex addiction and where to get help.