Is this a fair and common practice?

**phantom694u** · 24-01-13, 04:04 AM

I was married when I was 23 years old, and dated a few years before that. Didn't have much dating experience. I divorced 3 years ago after 12 years of cold marriage, and got right into 2 serious relationships, which means I really didn't date around much. I am 38 and dating a 46 year old woman. She is wonderful and beautiful. I love her....and we want a future together.

My parents have been urging me to date around before I settle down. They don't want me to divorce again. I kinda took that a step further. I met two more women recently, and I'm dating them both. The 1st lady we had sex on our first date. She is really busy at work, so we only see each other once per week. The second lady we only kissed, and meet for dinner. She wants to have sex with me, but her roommate is always there. I don't know if I am officially "dating" them, but they seem to express their affection towards me quite openly. Including my existing serious relationship, I am basically involved with 3 women.

I have always believed there is no such thing as "cheating" before marriage. People have the right to date around. There is no need to inform the ladies that I am dating other people, because that just causes confusion. And no, I will not like it if my ladies were dating around. Yes it is a double standard, but I think society accept that.

My question is, have any of you date multiple people, and has it ever been successful? This is a serious question.

**HeartIsAching** · 24-01-13, 04:22 AM

Is that the reek of troll?

If you're serious - you're dating a woman that you want a future with and you had sex on the first date with a stranger? Does your partner know of this? Did you use a condom?

Yes, I have DATED multiple women at the same time, but none of them were serious. Once one started moving in the direction of "I want a relationship", I broke it off with the others.

**smackie9** · 24-01-13, 04:34 AM

Yes and I never kept it a secret that I was dating other people. But I never gave them details because it's none of their busness whom I was sleeping with. So the reason for sucess is just being honest.

**basilandthyme** · 24-01-13, 05:32 AM

Originally Posted by phantom694u

Including my existing serious relationship, I am basically involved with 3 women.

I have always believed there is no such thing as "cheating" before marriage. People have the right to date around. There is no need to inform the ladies that I am dating other people, because that just causes confusion. And no, I will not like it if my ladies were dating around. Yes it is a double standard, but I think society accept that.

suspicions of a troll.

But incase you're not: You're kidding yourself if you think your attitude is generally accepted by society. Yes, dating a few people when none is serious is acceptable. But dating around when in a serious relationship is abhorrent.

I hope your girlfriend discovers what you're doing. She can throw your attacks about her promiscuous past in your face and show you the door.

**phantom694u** · 24-01-13, 05:41 AM

Not a troll. Serious. I think in the back of my mind I just want to date more people. No i don't use condoms...almost never. I don't think it's necessary to inform everyone that I'm dating others. Isn't it better to do this before marriage, than after? I mean, seriously, we all want to make sure before we settle down right? I have already been divorced once... I need to make sure this time around.

**basilandthyme** · 24-01-13, 05:43 AM

If you want to sleep around, that's fine. But it's not fine to do so when you're in a serious relationship. And now we discover that you're putting your serious partner at risk of STDs?

You're a really fine piece of work, aren't you.

**Guybrush** · 24-01-13, 05:49 AM

I think what we all have problems with is how being in one "serious relationship" is compatible with dating two additional women.

I don't think we would be too shocked to read about you dating three women casually. It is the "serious relationship" part that does not add up.

It does make your other post about being "promiscuous" look a bit funny, though. Double standards?

**HeartIsAching** · 24-01-13, 05:57 AM

Originally Posted by Guybrush

I think what we all have problems with is how being in one "serious relationship" is compatible with dating two additional women.

I don't think we would be too shocked to read about you dating three women casually. It is the "serious relationship" part that does not add up.

It does make your other post about being "promiscuous" look a bit funny, though. Double standards?

That's exactly it.

And yeah, that's why I asked about that in his other thread.

You don't wear condoms... so you're exposing everyone that you sleep with to whatever another has given you? That's ****ed up.

**Wakeup** · 24-01-13, 06:14 AM

Originally Posted by phantom694u

Not a troll. Serious. I think in the back of my mind I just want to date more people. No i don't use condoms...almost never. I don't think it's necessary to inform everyone that I'm dating others. Isn't it better to do this before marriage, than after? I mean, seriously, we all want to make sure before we settle down right? I have already been divorced once... I need to make sure this time around.

*Sniffs* I smell the stank rolling off of you. You used prostitutes while you were married. Who TF are you trying to kid?

*Hangs head for feeding the troll*

Are you saying you didn't use condoms when you were porking a prostitute either?

**Stars323** · 24-01-13, 06:17 AM

your sleeping with two different women, trying to sleep with the third...without a condom, your vile!

this has got to be a troll or are you just really stupid!! your 38 years old you should know better..

im 21 and i dont sleep around, especially without a condom!!!

**dem862** · 24-01-13, 07:58 AM

I think it is deceptive. The ladies should know you are sleeping around so they can make an informed decision about remaining with you. Chances are, if they knew, they would all dump you.

**bcgirl** · 24-01-13, 08:16 AM

Your either a troll or extremely stupid. What planet are u on if u think it ain't cheating? U obviously want to be single so just be single and let your 46 yr old gf off the hook. She is far too old to be playin games with someone who ain't serious. Time is of the essence for her and if she wants a family, you better let her go now so she can begin that with someone more serious and mature

**phantom694u** · 24-01-13, 08:40 AM

This is no troll, and I'm not stupid. I used condoms when I was seeing escorts...and it was no fun. It was a really bad time of my life, and i regretted it. I never use a condom when im dating, because i try to know my partner first before having sex. The sex on 1st date was not like we just met. We have known each other for months, and I made a decision that she was minimal risk. I don't have any diseases or anything. I am actually very careful. Condoms are for people who sleep with strangers, which is not the case with me in a relationship. I appreciate real inputs, but stop judging me. There are no angels here. We are all adults. I don't think it's cheating if we are not married yet. I am just exploring, and making sure. Whats wrong with that?

**dem862** · 24-01-13, 08:46 AM

If it's no big deal, then tell all 3 ladies you are sleeping with others. See what happens.

**ashley89** · 24-01-13, 08:54 AM

Originally Posted by phantom694u

We have known each other for months, and I made a decision that she was minimal risk. I don't have any diseases or anything.

lololol you made the decision that SHE was minimal risk? did you actually ask her? do you know if she's been tested? how can you make a decision about someone else being disease free or not? I didn't know you could just decide on your own

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