Hi all,as my title says Ive been a Muppet.I married when i was 19 my wife was 17 we have been happy the majority of our married life.
Around the past 12 months i have not felt happy,i have looked at other woman but never acted on anything.
Last October time at work there was this female at work who i have been kinda flirting with from i suppose august time.In October there was a work get together in a local pub.I spoke to her via Facebook and then later on via mobile while she was on the bus to the pub.
I had had a fair few beers before i arrived at the pub and shortly after i arrived with my mate,she arrived and wrapped her arms around my waist.I was flattered and kind taken back,she is after all half my age!!!
I spent most of the night with her in the pub and my hands all over her,i was very drunk and i think she was none the worse for wear,anyways towards the end of the night her and her friend started sending naughty provocative txts whilst i was on my way home.Eventually it ended up being just me and her and when i got home she txtx me that i could have stayed the night!!!All i wanted to do was find where she lived and go round there but i was totally battered drunk.
Anyways the next day we txted each other and started to email and then started to meet up secretly,one other thing i forgot to mention is she had started seeing another guy in august,(this was after a 4 year relationship with her first real boyfriend and a four month gap to get over him)i came along in the middle of October!!!
From the start she always said this is wrong,we shouldn't be doing this,its not fair,i have feelings for my boyfriend and feelings for you!the age gaps ridiculous,but she also said she cant help it being with me and i feel like a drug to her that she cant get enough of!.
Anyways after 6 weeks it all came on top and we finished because she felt guilty about seeing me behind her boyfriends back and she wanted to see a show in Birmingham.She was gone for four days with her boyfriend,it all came out i told him about me to try and mess it up etc etc bu they still went to Birmingham together!!When she got home i txt her a smily face and to my amazement she replied with a kiss,so i seen a green light and started toting her.That same evening i think it was a Wednesday i asked he to meet me on my break from work..she initially refused and i said i would still be in our normal place where we used to meet.at 730 that night she met up with me and we hugged and i even got a kiss!
We decide to start seeing each other again and we admitted that we had fallen in love with each other! although we had said we loved each other prior to Birmingham and she told me that she loved me but wasn't sure about her boyfriend!
We started sleeping together again and seeing each other but all the time keeping it a secret from people dont forget i had told my wife i was seeing this girl but i was staying at home as at the time had nowhere else to go!
There are a few more details but id end up writing 4 pages,anyways she eventually told her boyfriend it was over between them ,but she failed to tell him that she was back with me!they still kept txting each other which i thought was strange,anyways after 10 days or so of being back together she was still txting him a lot and i started to moan as it was stating to annoy me!
She stated in a txt that i needed to accept this as she was not gonna loose him as a friend.i told her i wasn't happy with this so then she decided to tell me that she still had feelings for her boyfriend but at the same time still has feelings for me!
This all come to a conclusion 4 weeks today,i shouted at her,went round her house tapped on windows was annoying etc etc.She changed her mobile number.but i managed to get her new one.She said she didn't want me to contact her,but we see each other at work and still talk now and we still cuddle each other in the staff cloakroom when no ones looking.She still says she has feelings for both of us and wants to be on her own.She says she cant be with either me or him whilst she feels like this,but she still holds me tight and cuddles me at work!
She says to me she cant get me out of her head and she could see us together but the age gap is still something shes not to sure of!
Im so damm confused and i feel like a love sick teenager all over again!
Any thoughts opinions would be great