is it normal to want an older man?

[coedmary18]

I go to college in Boston and I'm 18.

There's a guy who lives in my building and I think he's really cute. He's very tall, athletic looking, I really like his nice blue eyes and big strong hands. I've said "hi" to him a few times. He seems to very intelligent and polite.

I really feel attracted to him, and he's apparently single. I don't see any woman around or a wedding ring.

However I think he's about 50. He has mainly grey hair, but I think grey hair is kind of hot.

Is this normal or am I really weird? Have other women ever felt like this about a man who could be her father? He just seems a lot more interesting to me than these college guys who want to go out and get drunk every night.

[Fruitss]

I think maybe its a lot of womans dream too be **** hard by a older dick.

But looking at your age i think maybe u have some daddy issues 2 for going that far from your age.
Especially cause u r so young thing can easily go wrong for u, more then for him.
cause u shore some kind of naive still. and he is full of tricks and experience too lead u too where he wants u.

so go for someone your age, enjoy your youth.

[Gargul]

I go to college in Boston and I'm 18.

There's a guy who lives in my building and I think he's really cute. He's very tall, athletic looking, I really like his nice blue eyes and big strong hands. I've said "hi" to him a few times. He seems to very intelligent and polite.

I really feel attracted to him, and he's apparently single. I don't see any woman around or a wedding ring.

However I think he's about 50. He has mainly grey hair, but I think grey hair is kind of hot.

Is this normal or am I really weird? Have other women ever felt like this about a man who could be her father? He just seems a lot more interesting to me than these college guys who want to go out and get drunk every night.

You're an adult. I don't see why it matters. If you like him, just go for it. Life is too short to care what other people think.

However, do think it through for yourself. For example, if you're serious about him and end up with him for a long time and marry and have kids and everything, your kids may see him die by the time they're in their 20's, depending on how long this man lives. He could die when they're 10 or in their teens even, because he'll be at least 60+ by that time. And if he has a low sperm count, it will be hard for you to even have kids. Do you know if he has any medical problems or is likely to develop any? You also stand to become a widow by the time you're 30 or 40. I know that people can live to be 90-100, but the lifespans of men are typically shorter.
This is what happens when you marry old people. Just make sure you're prepared for that.

[coedmary18]

Thank you both so much.

I don't know if I'm going to get married yet, I'm more looking for a boyfriend. That's one thing that bothers me about Boston U. There are a lot of beautiful girls and not so many hot guys. So the guys just want to hook up at a party and then forget about you. Most girls can't find a boyfriend. And who goes on a actual date!

Healthy wise, he looks VERY fit to me. I've seen him jogging and he looks amazing.

My question is, is this sort of weird or strange? Will people think it's crazy if I'm dating a man like this? Will other girls think a man like this is so old and gross and what am I doing? To me looks smart, athletic and distinguished. He's a male nurse by the way. He was a computer programmer but changed careers when the economy tanked.

[Fruitss]

yeah people will think that he is dating u cause of your young pussy and u r dating him for his money if its not normal in the place u live. i think its not normal anyway , u have more too loose then him.

[searock]

Have you ever been in a serious relationship? I think you're way too young and inexperienced to be with a guy that old and experienced. This alone makes you fundamentally incompatible, relationship-wise.

If you'd be happy to just have casual sex with him: have you ever had sex? What about no-strings-attached sex? If you have, then you are able to decide whether you think it would be a good idea to have NSA sex with him (assuming he was willing to, of course). Otherwise, I think you need to become more experienced, with guys your own age, first. What seems like a good idea right now, may turn out to be one of the worst choices you've ever made, having negative repercussions on the rest of your life. You need to gather the tools you need to make an educated choice, before jumping into something as sensitive (and life-changing, if it's one of your first experiences) as this.

[Gargul]

My question is, is this sort of weird or strange? Will people think it's crazy if I'm dating a man like this? Will other girls think a man like this is so old and gross and what am I doing? To me looks smart, athletic and distinguished. He's a male nurse by the way. He was a computer programmer but changed careers when the economy tanked.

Will you let other peoples' opinion affect your relationship with this man? Yes, some people will likely think it's crazy. My aunt is in her mid 40's and her boyfriend is your age (18), and virtually everyone in the family thought it was inappropriate when they found out. And who even knows what strangers must think or say when they meet them. For an 18 year old dating a 50 year old with the genders in reverse in your situation, some people will probably think even worse about both of you.
He sounds like a great guy. But in order for something like this to work out, you have to be the kind of person who doesn't care what other people think, or it will get to you. My aunt can easily blow people off and rarely listens to what people tell her she should or should not do. But you seem like you care what other people think...try not to.
I would try to find out if he's even interested in people in your age range. Being around a college campus and being overexposed to people your age may make him explicitly not want to date teenagers or young people. And he could also be the type of person who worries about what others will think. I actually wanted to date someone older when I was in high school but was 18 already, and he was only in his late 20's. But he kind of viewed me as a kid and said no.
Good luck with it, though. If you really like him, you should at least give it a shot.

[Guybrush]

This reminds me of something my wife sometimes say to me (as a joke): "If you ever run off with a teenage girl as part of your midlife crisis, you really need to call me and tell me what you guys talk about!". I usually respond that there won't be any time for talking...

Hopefully without being condecending about teenage girls, my wife makes a fair point. It is hard to imagine a meaningful relationship between a 50 and an 18 year old, unless the physical part is meaningful enough for both of you.

You say that you want a boyfriend. I am not sure if that's what you would get.

[coedmary18]

Thank you, I appreciate it.

Do other very young women ever have feelings like this for much older men? I wonder if I'll be able to discuss it with other girls? And it's NOT about money! His car and apartment are OK, but not better than mine are.

I just want a boyfriend who's more sober and commitment minded than the frat boys who keep groping me. I want a MAN who I can talk to instead of a BOY who keeps staring at my boobs.

[searock]

coedmary18, I'm a 23 years old girl and I was in a similar situation when I was your age. I understand how it feels - hell, I'm attracted to a much older guy (50-ish) even now. I also know that the best thing for you is to NOT become involved with a man that much older than you. Not when you are still so young and, most of all, inexperienced. You don't have the emotional tools to deal with such a "relationship" (in the general meaning of the term).

If you think guys your age are immature - first of all, you're right. But there will be time to grow. Growing together is one of the best things you can share with your significant other, and you wouldn't be able to have that with a man so much older than you. You would never be companions, equals: he would always have this parent-guardian feeling in your regards. He would always be the more mature and adult one, and would treat you as a child no matter how smart and mature you are. As time passed, you would grow, change continuously, while he would remain still. Believe me, you don't want such a relationship.

Also, you talk about wanting a committed relationship. Yet you think a 50 years old man who is (apparently) not married nor in any committed relationship is the best candidate to have a committed relationship with? Don't you think the fact that he doesn't have a family or partner indicates that he has commitment issues, to say the least?

And you say you don't want guys who "keep groping you". As Wakeup says in the post after mine, what makes you think that he wouldn't be just as grope-y? Actually, some men tend to become more "perverted" and fixated on very young girls as they grow older. That's a lot creepier than a hormone-filled young man at his first experiences. Careful what you wish for..!

How about hanging out with other guys your age than the ones you currently hang out with?

[Wakeup]

he's apparently single. I don't see any woman around or a wedding ring.

How do you know he's not gay?

I just want a boyfriend who's more sober and commitment minded than the frat boys who keep groping me.

Why do you think just because he's 50 that he'll not grope you as well? You are assuming an awful lot about this guy just because he's older and doesn't wear a ring.
How about setting your sites on someone who's older but not grandfather older who you can actually relate to?

Just how compatible do you think you'd be with someone 30 years older than you?

What kind of a relationship did you/do you have with your father?

I think maybe its a lot of womans dream too be **** hard by a older dick.

at 50 odds are much higher that he'll need a blue pill to accomplish the hard dick part.

[Guybrush]

So if you found a smart and kind guy - say aged 18-25 - who you could talk to, would that be equally appealing? They exist, you know. THey are just not always the first ones you notice. You make have to look in different places.

[surfhb2]

Really Girl!? There's not a man in his 40 and 50s who's interested in an 18 year old kid for a serious relationship. Lol

[Gargul]

Yeah...maybe you shouldn't hang around "frat boys". They're not the only kind in college, you know. Assuming all or even most of the young men at your college are like that is just ignorant (no offense)...because they're not.

And I must ask...how do you dress for your boobs to even attract that kind of attention?

Only really old guy I ever found attractive was Anderson Cooper from the news...and apparently he's gay.

I can see how you'd be attracted to this particular guy you describe. But they're so rare among older men, in my experience...most older men (whom I've seen) get a huge "gut" and start balding and all of that. I'm in college, too, by the way.

I don't see why you need to discuss it with other girls, though - what do they have to do with anything?

If you really do need to talk to others, though, I'd just do it with somebody you've already talked to for a while, like your roommate or any friends. Just ask them if they ever like older guys, and usually how old is too old for them.

And you said you want someone commitment-minded...older guys may be more ready to settle down, but I don't know about how many of them would do it with an 18 year old. You have to assess him as an individual and think about whether he would realistically seriously date you. Or worm that information out of him somehow.

[coedmary18]

First of all, your all right. Maybe he's gay. He has a male room mate. But I guess he'll probably tell me, right? He could be recently divorced for example.

If he needs pill, I'll bring them along!

And maybe you're right, if I keep hunting around I'll find a younger guy with all the good qualities - sweet, funny, smart, good looking. But he'd probably already be taken. So who knows?