How do i deal with this?

[scottc92]

Ok, so a few months ago a i was hanging out at a friends house when his flatmate walked in (Lets call her Lucy), we started talking, getting to know each other etc.

A few months down the line and we become pretty much best friends, talking to each other all the time, hanging out etc, the complication being that i was rapidly developing feelings for Lucy, i knew the feelings werent returned as she had previously told me about a guy she kinda liked and was asking for advice on how to approach him.

Early in december i invited Lucy to come out to town for the night with me and my best mates who were all back from uni (bad move on my part), all of them being aware that i liked her, but also aware that she only saw me as a friend.

So after the first night i invited her out with us a few more times, and then i realised that one of my best mates (lets call him Luke) had also started taking an interest in her, but after speaking to him he told me he wouldnt even consider making a move as he knew i was interested.

Anyway a week of so ago i discovered that Lucy had started majory crushing on Luke (Gutted). But knowing that both Lucy and my friend like each other i am more than willing to step aside and let them give it a go even if it is extremely painful, my problem is Lucy has sworn me to secrecy not to mention to Luke that she likes him, but Luke is still adamant he wont make a move because of me, insisting that i just have to work my way out of the friend zone.

How do i convince Luke to make a move without betraying Lucys trust and telling him she likes him?

Any help is much appriciated
Thanks

[surfhb2]

Just tell a quick white lie saying to your mate that you're not interested in her and that he should ask her out. Personally I'd just tell him she likes him.....who cares if she gets mad over something as silly as this. She'll get over it and maybe start dating a guy she likes

[Scarlet_P]

Scott, that's incredibly noble of you, and very Cyrano De Bergerac.

I would reasurre Luke that you've tried, but if there's instant an appeal between him and Lucy, to just go ahead and ask her, she "might" say yes (of course you know she will). Unrequited love/crushes are the worst thing ever to go through (one nearly cost me 2 years of not dating anyone else). Or, you could not say anything, and see if it takes its course naturally; perhaps getting involved would be a no-win situation?

If it doesn't work out with Lucy and Luke, she will likely see the light at some point and date you. But only if you're content with being friends with her, at least for now. Life is strange in that what you want the most often comes later on, after it stops being so critical. Or you find someone else you like more.

[Woods]

You seem like a lovely guy but why are you so keen to set them up? Stop being such a lettuce and tell her how you feel.
Or you could watch painfully from a distance whilst she goes out with your friend and you're left with 'what if'. She hasn't clarified whether or not she is into you, there could be a chance. If she doesn't feel the same then your friend is free to make a move and you get to start moving on.

[smackie9]

Whoa he already said it's clear she only sees him as a friend...and in reality, you can't fight your way out of the friend zone. If he tells her how he feels (she already has an idea he does) she will just throw him into the abyss and push herself away from him.

[smackie9]

Tip: stop being friends with girls...if you like a girl ask her out. If she says no, then you just saved yourself months of bs. If you fear you will scare her away then she isn't the one for you.

[jennifer.c]

Yeah, just tell Luke to ask her out. It'll be painful at first, but not forever, and it's great of you to put your friends' happiness before your own (unrequited) feelings. And besides, if they go out, I think it'll help you get over her... she'll truly not be an option anymore, and then you can move on instead of being stuck in the friendzone for who knows how long.

[scottc92]

Thank you very much for the responses guys

@woods - ive made it very clear to her how i feel, as i was fairly foreward about it a few weeks after we first met, but and i recieved the "thats so sweet, but you dont want me im not good enough" nonsense, which was her way of letting me down gently!

So im thinking ill just let Luke know im no longer interested and see what happens from there.

Thanks again for the help

[Woods]

Fair enough fella, I didn't realise she'd been that clear. Good luck with it!