Why do females stop loving their considerable other?

[ash232013]

Title says it all really. Thought i'd start up a discussion.



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I've had 3 more serious relationships since i was 18, im 23 now. And each time it has ended because the other can't love me anymore.
Each time, the relationship has started quite intense, madly passionate about each other, and then it fades after a few months. She distances, i try harder, it eventually ends...

Why are these fantastic relationships coming to an end? Is this just normal 'filtering'? It usually happens a few months after the 'I love you's' have been passed between.

Anyway, that's my dilemma, but thought i'd start a thread to get a better picture on why love fades.

[basilandthyme]

The passion at the start of a relationship isn't love. It's lust. It's quite normal to have this head over heels feeling for 6 months to a year, then it all simmers down and is replaced by a deeper and more stable feeling of love.

The reason they stop having those feelings towards you are because they don't have the right amount of compatibility. But only those girls can tell you what was missing.

What reasons have been given to you for breaking up? Your clues will be there.

[Love'sReject]

Love doesn't fade; lust does, however.

You have to start question your choices, bro; obviously you're picking girls who get attached too quickly and then it flounders. It could also be on your end; there's the incubation period where everything is fine until the trouble starts surfacing. Question both yourself and the string of girls you've been seeing.

[basilandthyme]

LR has a point. Are you on your 'best behaviour' at the start of the relationship and then relax into something not so great?

When dating, it's wise to start out as you plan to continue.

[ash232013]

Well to be honest, reasons i've been given is just that the love isnt there anymore, and they dont have the foggiest idea to why its not. (which is so confusing) they say, these things just happen, they're uncontrollable. Which is true, but they genuinely dont know why the feelings arent there anymore.

I've always been the driving force of the relationships, making them work, i've a passion for passion.
And im on my 'best behaviour' all of the time, id consider myself a good catch. Maybe i'm too good? haha.
I always get very good looking girls, who are perhaps a little naive, and i think LR has a point too, i think i probably end up with girls not yet emotionally mature enough to understand that it takes two to tango in the relationship. As soon as the honeymoon period dies down, its like they cant be bothered putting any effort into it, leaving me to go a bit messy in the head wondering what the hells going on. Plus, they've always been slightly long distance so that could be a factor too.

But i still dont understand how, when a couple can have many common interests and ambitions, wicked humours and a deep understanding of one another that it can suddenly die out. Do young girls generally not appreciate those kind of things?

I've been looking at seeking somebody a little older who's been in one or two serious relationships to know what they're all about. Maybe they can give me some advice along the way

[Love'sReject]

Maybe your problem is those very good looking girls; usually, women don't know how to handle all the attention they get from looking so good and that's why they usually have commitment and mental issues.

[ash232013]

I imagine they do get a lot of attention, but its not as if i hand it to them on a plate, that's how you get the lookers. keeping them is a whole other story :/

but the last looker i had was so beautiful she wouldn't be approached often, she was also slightly shy and reserved, and she was the best one yet, it was almost as if she had the whole package. Her reasons for the split were the distance, the fact she was very busy at uni and wouldnt see me often, and that there wasnt anything 'there' anymore. But i think the reason why there wasnt anything there was because of the two prior reasons. When we did see each other, everything was perfect, it always gave me hope that when she went home, she wouldnt be a distanced bore. But she always was. I was the one who ended it this time but it was mutual.

Its a real shame.

Pisses me off how she will end up with a complete idiot :/

[ash232013]

thanks, just talking about it's made me feel more comfortable with my decision to end it. It's not me that's the problem. Thats good

[Love'sReject]

Don't assume it isn't you that's the problem: if you want to really discover what your trouble is, you have to look at it honestly including criticizing yourself.

[ash232013]

trust me i've done that. I'm looking for the wrong type of girl, commitment phobes :/

[Love'sReject]

Well, at least you know what the problem is: constantly going for the wrong girls, with different priorities..You should be able to get dates quickly, so statistically speaking, you're in good shape, just have to cut out the figurative fat.

[Consistency]

When the man in the relationship stops being a man and starts acting like her cub.

[Love'sReject]

When the woman in the relationship starts being an overemotional little bitch.