Dependency Issues

[eksink]

For about 6 months, I was seeing a therapist once a week for dependency issues. I stress over my relationships so much that it causes physical harm to me. I rapidly lose weight, I start having horrible pains, and I was even hospitalized because the pains got so great in my side, I fell over at work. It turns out that they've diagnosed me with "Stress induced gastric spams." I was told to keep my stress levels down and, seeing as how my relationship is my greatest source of stress, I know I need to tackle my dependency issues and figure out how be more myself.

If you have any idea on how to start this process (without seeing therapy. I've had to switch jobs and cannot afford to pay for the service anymore), please let me know. I want to be happier, healthier, and more independent.

[IndiReloaded]

How about meditating? Works for a lot of people. Even I do it on occasion (I'm about as skeptical as they come), but there is good evidence that the biofeedback works to reduce stress. Personally, I like the one imagining I'm lying on a beach at sunrise (the sun warms my toes, legs, torso, etc.). Another good one is a walk where you visit a waterfall and put down your heavy backpack (metaphor for your worries).

Hope this helps. Failing that, there's medication I suppose.

[basilandthyme]

Seeing as how your relationship is the greatest source of stress.....I'm sticking to the advice I gave you on your last thread: dump the guy. Unless he starts putting you as a higher priority than his BFF, you'll never be able to be happy.

Once you move n fri him,yYou will regain your health and your sanity.

[eksink]

My boyfriend is a great source of stress, but no matter who I have dated, I've always had this problem. While this is the worst it's ever been, I've noticed this pattern in my dating life for a while. Plus, the therapist agreed I focus too much of my energies on the relationship and need to discover more of myself. I'm still giving my boyfriend a second chance, but I want to be prepared and be a more balanced person so I will be healthier should I break up with him. I know he's not great, but I have to look at myself, too. If I want to avoid being treated like that, I have to treat myself better first and take care of myself better. One way of doing that is managing stress.

[tillyb]

The key to finding your answer is to work out what is causing you the troubles. What is this dependancy all about. Until you unroute that, you will not find healing.

[Fruitss]

And sports are also a great tool when u have stress.