as a friend or more? Input needed!

[Guybrush]

Ask him out? Suggest something that suggest more of a date and less casually hanging out with a friend. Or are you too shy to make a move?

[gia01]

shy? in a way yes in a way nope. I'm very outgoing with guys but I've never asked out someone myself. Also,I'm sort of scared to get him to think that I like him more than a friend because I've seen incidents where a guy starts avoiding/ignoring the girl all of a sudden when he feels she likes him as more than a friend. So I fear if he turns out to be that way. I want him to make a move again like that day (mentioned in my post) but I'm sad that we might not get such a chance again because of different classes though pretty sure we'll bump into each other at least sometime every week. So, I want to just give it a minute start whereas I want him to proceed it farther.

[Guybrush]

What is the big risk?

Is the friendship that you feel is at stake really that significant? You are talking about someone you occationally "bump into".

[basilandthyme]

Gia, I'm completely stumped by the advice you've been given. He was very clear about not wanting to settle down with one person....so I'm not sure why people are saying that he's interested.

Given his affectionate demeanour together with his discussion about not wanting to settle down, I think he's wanting you as a friends with benefits type thing.

At any rate, I wouldn't bother with someone who's actions and words contradict each other. It's an immediate sign that he's faking something....and fakes are someone to avoid.

[IndiReloaded]

We reached an isolated area and the sky was clear so we laid down and watched the sky. We talked about our personal lives and academics and about a lot of things. After half an hour of sky gazing, we couldn't find a single shooting star. He suddenly said "Are you hungry? Let's go somewhere."

Then we went for a super long walk and made each other laugh. After an hour of walk, he took me to a pizza restaurant. I told him I didn't want to eat anything but he ordered a pizza for us and requested me to eat. It was really cute when he was forcing me to have the 1st piece and then forcefully trying to feed me. We discussed about our families and about funny incidents in our life. Suddenly while discussing about relationships, he said " I don't understand how can someone just spend too much time talking,listening and looking at just one same person throughout all the time. College is about meeting new people and not just being with one person." Even though I knew he was right in a way, that still left me kinda baffled and I had nothing much to say so I just smiled and said "I agree with you." After eating he said he wants to continue watching shooting stars with me so we went there again. We spent 2more hours together and then we decided to leave since it got too late(past midnight).

On our way he remarked how he never spent so much time with someone before(7 1/2 hours). We reached our dorm and all he said was "I'm leaving for home tomorrow so I might not get to see you till jan.So bye.see you.I had a good time." and I told him "Me too.Bye." and we left. Throughout our meet that night I realized that he tried to get a little closer to me by handfeeding me when I refused to eat, tickling me, closing my eyes while I wanted to catch a shooting star, grabbing my arm and taking me to the pizza shop when I jokingly refused etc.!!

He likes you, but is unsure how much. Up your interest in him come January and see how he responds.

[gia01]

Given his affectionate demeanour together with his discussion about not wanting to settle down, I think he's wanting you as a friends with benefits type thing.

Naah he's definitely not someone who would think of friends with benefits and anything even close to such likes. He's a good guy, well mannered and he's very safe to be around or else a picky person like me would have never spent 7 1/2 hours with him in an isolated area at night. But yeah, I agree that his contradictory talks are a bit too confusing at times and that's what leaves me dubious thinking if giving it a try with him would be a wise decision or not.

[gia01]

He likes you, but is unsure how much.

I agree with you on that. My best friends who are a couple have been telling me the same thing. Besides, I'm just speculating that maybe he's unsure about his feelings because of his past. Like as I've mentioned in 1 of my comments that he asked out his classmate during the 7th grade and she rejected him in public. That was the one and only time he's asked out someone and he's never been in a relationship. Ohh and also I now recall that after he told me about this incident, he also added " I felt so humiliated by that rejection that I took an oath that now on even if I like someone I wouldn't say anything. I 'll just focus in academics. That's it"
So, I'm just assuming that it might be 1 of the possible reasons why he's pulling and pushing his feelings like this. Makes sense?

[gia01]

What is the big risk?

Is the friendship that you feel is at stake really that significant? You are talking about someone you occationally "bump into".

Yeah, the friendship. I mean, we aren't best of friends or anything but we're definitely good friends. Or else I don't see the point of him leaving his group of guy friends and coming just to talk to me or planning dinner with me and so. Besides, I don't want to have a negative/awkward relation with anyone. It gets too weird :\

[smackie9]

The more you second guess the more likely it won't happen. Stop over analyzing something that is so simple. Just show more attention towards him, maybe be a little more flirty with him, suggest going out again. Just let things happen.

[wisdomeze]

Well the best way is to go ask him. If love somebody walk up to the person and tell the person you love him.

[smackie9]

omg wrong advise! that would have me running away. creepy!

[IndiReloaded]

The more you second guess the more likely it won't happen. Stop over analyzing something that is so simple.

Life is short. Ask for what you want.

[gia01]

I think I'll just go with the flow. Like, I'll just smile and casually talk to him like I used to before. I've never done any flirting before so I'm not sure about that. If talking sweet and complimenting means flirting then yeah,I've done it and I can do that LOL. Having said that, I just want to give things a slight push and see if he makes an effort to push it farther and see where it leads;because if he doesn't put in any effort anyway then obviously it gives me my answer that we won't work out.

[IndiReloaded]

That's what you are going to *do*. I asked: what do you want?

[gia01]

umm honestly I'm not sure. I mean, I like him a lot but not sure in what way. I wish if we could spend some more quality time together like before so I could see if there is any good spark between us. Not just for me but for him too. And if there is, then I don't mind taking things slow working out together. So, it's basically like I'm not "dying" for us to be together but at the same time since I like him and he's a good guy, I don't mind being in a relationship with him if I see us having any substance.