Ex Boyfriend Problems

[Ellecee3]

Hi everyone!

Hope to have your advice on this issue. I dated someone very seriously for 4 years until the point where we were just not working anymore. When we broke up, it was extremely hard but we agreed to be amicable. I tried to be nice until he just grew to be cruel. For no reason. So we stopped talking for a while. When we started talking again, it was a lot better. There are still such intense feelings
There between us that I wonder if its impossible
To be friends with someone you still love? Last week he basically told
Me he wanted to work things out, that he still loved me and invited me as his date to his company Xmas party. I agreed. The next day, he changed his mind about everything and said he was too scared to do anything about us. He blocked and deleted me from his Facebook and told me
To never talk to him again. WHY? And how can he be so cruel to someone who he just told he loved the day before? Do I give him space? Do I make an extra effort? We also have 2 dogs together but they live with him as it is a better environment but as the Christmas season coming up, and our first Christmas apart,
I want to drop in and say hello to his family and see my dogs. Is this inappropriate? I don't know what to do because I don't want to seem desperate but I don't think I should miss out on seeing the dogs or his family (which were like mine as well) is he acting this way only because he cares? What should I do? any advice on how to handle a messy break up like this?

[RipVanWinkleX]

To see his family is inappropriate. Though, is it HIS dogs or yours? Because if they are yours, then you should try to find a better environment for them to live with you. Otherwise that's a big no too.

You get your mind on other things. Stimulate it. Read a book, watch a movie, play a video game. Something to get over him. It will take time and it will be hard. You will find someone later who will treat you better.

[Ellecee3]

They are both of our dogs, we used to be engaged and live together.
I am over him in the sense that he has been so mean and said and done such hurtful things that I can't forget them. I never think about getting back together with him until he mentions something.
I'm fine and completely happy on my own, until I see him and all feelings temporarily
Come rushing back. Ultimately I want to just maintain a healthy friendship with him but is that possible?
He knows how much I love the dogs, and I think he purposely keeps them from me to hurt me. How do I remain in enough contact with him to solve this problem?

[basilandthyme]

If you really must visit his family, Christmas is the wrong time. Visit them when your ex isn't around and it's not a special holiday.

As far as the dogs go, I had to leave my cat with my ex when we divorced. It was awful having to do so, but I really suggest trying to move on without the dogs in your life.

[RipVanWinkleX]

There is no real answer.. I would think the one who payed for them gets to keep them. I hate to say it, but you may have to give up the dogs... I'd say if you really want them, fight over them in court.

[Boisdevie]

I suspect there are very very few people who can maintain a healthy friendship with their ex. It's best to break contact completely, hard as that may be.