I could really do with some advice about a situation I'm in. A co worker and I started hanging out with each other outside of work. We ended up dating for a month and it was fantastic if a bit tiring as we were up until late most nights. Unfortunately I don't want children and he did so we agreed to end it and stay friends. We still both really cared for each other and still do.
We've been hanging out with each other since we split up. Some times he'd visit me up to four times a week. We'd still been holding hands and hugging each other a lot. If we're out walking somewhere he'll reach for my hand so he can hold it. Over the last week we've been gently flirting with each other, basically by saying things and sending texts that could be read innocently but could also be read in a more provocative way, considering that we both tend to talk to each other in innuendo it seems likely that his replies to my texts are likely to have been meant in the innuedno way.
Yesterday we ended up kissing each other. Then we spent the rest of the day kissing each other and holding each other until it led to other things. While I was cooking he'd wrap his arm round me and hold me. He also told me how a fellow co worker had said to him earlier last week that everytime he looked at me he looked like he wanted to give me a big hug. I asked him if she was right and he'd wanted to give me a big hug and he said yes. I asked him what else he wanted and he didn't answer (I've asked him questions before and when he's enjoying something he tends to not answer).
Now bear in mind that this man is 41 years old, still lives with his parents, has never lived on his own and I was his first girlfriend. So he was on quite a steep learning curve and has never had to deal with being in a relationship before.
Annoyingly I have it really bad for him, I just want to spend time with him and chat to him, and he seems to be the same. Now obviously I'm aware that he could just be enjoying being with me as he's never had anyone before and just enjoys the odd occasion when it progresses to more than hand holding. Though knowing him I honestly don't believe he's the type to do that. Though he may still want children and be unwilling to imagine a life without children. Before anyone suggests that I may change my mind I was 12 when I came to the realisation that I was childfree, I gave myself 18 years to change my mind before I asked to be sterilised. I was sterilised 3 years ago when I was 30. My desire to have children will never change, hence why it was an issue. However I'm aware others can change their minds.
So I'm thinking about approaching him and asking about what he wants. He seems to still want to be with me, but could he cope with never having children. I don't know if he's been thinking about it. He may have come to the conclusion that he could cope never having children, equally he may still feel that having children is more important. The trouble is I don't know what he's been thinking and I have a feeling that even if he'd changed his mind he wouldn't say anything. I don't want to lose him as a friend, equally though I just want to know so I can either move on or start dating him again. I know I must sound like a daft lovestruck fool, and honestly I feel like that. I still feel very deeply for him and the more I get to know him the more I want to be with him. We get on so well and the way he behaves towards me makes me feel like he still wants to be with me. However because of his inexperience I don't think he'd say anything even if he did want to get back togehter.
So how do I broach this subject? Should I broach this subject? What should I say and do I do it in person or by email so he has time to think about what he wants without pressure? Or am I just being monumentally stupid?