When timing just never works out

[rayna]

I wanted some outside opinions on this because I can't get this guy off my mind. My friends have said things could have worked out...but they also tell me to move on. Easier said than done, right?

I met this guy a month after a bad break up and right before I moved to another state for my new job. While he wasn't the first guy I talked to since the break up, he was the first one I had an interest in (besides just fooling around with as rebound). We hung out a couple of times and kept in touch through texts and emails. During my last weekend in the state, I spent an amazing nonsexual night with him. I guess I fall pretty easily because I fell for him.

When we parted ways it just left so many what-ifs. We stayed in touch afterwards, but it's been on and off. He's said he's looking for a job in my city (his current contract ends in a couple of months). One of the last thing I remember him saying was that maybe life would bring us together again...but really if a guy really wants to be with a girl...he'd make it happen no matter what right? He'd visit? He'd call? He'd initiate? I feel like a fool with my heart strings still tangled up with him. It's been almost half a year since we've seen each other, but I have not been able to see other guys because I can't get him off my mind! When he does contact me...I'm on cloud 9; when I don't hear from him in a long time, I get all moody.

Why can't I move on? With previous guys, I can move on pretty quickly as long as there are new guys to flirt with. I've tried to go out and meet new people, but unless they remind me of him...I'm not interested...

[smackie9]

"One of the last thing I remember him saying was that maybe life would bring us together again.." he said that to let you down easy. Yes you are right he would initiate, etc,.....if he was interested. The writing was on the wall a long time ago.

You only hung out a couple of times, why do you have so much emotion invested? Get over it.

You are obsessing because you can't have him. Stop trying to date for now and find other things to fill your time in with. Do something out of your comfort zone. Rebuild some self worth, and confidence.

[rayna]

I think its funny when people quote back things I say to answer my questions. Essentially, it's like I already knew the answer but was choosing to ignore it. You're right, it could just be the "I can't have him" aspect that's making me go crazy.

[smackie9]

Hey we have all been there. It took me 2 years to get this one guy out of my system....to this day I still don't know why lol.

[BlueberryCookie]

He's only keeping it open by saying "life would bring us together again". You've only been together for a month in the same city. Growing into a relationship takes time. The initial stage of dating should be light, with no commitments. You are expecting more from him when in reality, he's indicating that he would just like to keep it friendly at the moment. Don't judge by his words. Judge by his actions. You should not commit yourself to him when in reality, he has not. You're a free bird. Have fun and date all the guys you can. Don't keep your life on hold for him.