Do we have a future? Why cant men say what they want!!

[sss]

Hiya!

Im new to this forum but have found myself in a sticky situation so i decided to post on here.
Basically i have been seeing this guy 4 10 months nw. He was the one who spoke to me and pursued me until i eventually gave in after 7 months n took hs numba.
At first everything was great. We work near 1 another so used 2 meet up in the morning, at lunch n afta work.
But 3 weeks into seeing each other he told me tht he has a 7 year old son with his ex who is an english girl. I am pakistani n so is he.
Ignorantly, i still carried on seeing him.
A few months later we had both fallen deeply for each otha.

A few months later and he started to distance himself from me by seeing me less. I askd hm why and he eventually told me tht his sisters have been having a go at him for always coming home late. But then he went on to tell me tht his mum and dad have both passed away and thts why his older sisters have so much say over what he does as they brought him up. His uncle had promised his dad tht he wud get hm married to a girl of their caste.

Coz we thought we didnt ave a future, we decided to end it. Bt tht neva lasts long n we r drawn back to each otha lyk magnets. This tends to make us stronger as a couple aswell.
The way i feel about him, iv neva felt with any1 else and its the same 4 hm.

He has said tht if it was not 4 his baggage and family situation then he knows we wud be married by now n id be pregnant, lol.

He is so respectful, caring, considerate and a gud influence on me. Btw, he is 35 n im 25..tht wud be an issue tht my family wud play on. Iv neva bin as happy as i am with hm n its the same 4 him.

I want to marry hm n so does he bt we ave so much to think about coz my family wud neva agree with his baggage, age, caste, etc. Also his family dont know about his son so i guess he is apprehensive that if we become public knowledge, then his jealous ex will reveal all to his family who in turn would disown him.
Iv also told him tht he cant keep it a secret foreva but he would rather brush it under the carpet coz he is scared of his familys reaction. He says that his extended family wud b so happy if they knew of his son coz they wud love to play on his faults.

His ex also knows about us and so has stopped his contact with his son coz she is the jealous type n stil loved him bt think she hates hm nw. Btw, tht pregnancy was neva planned n she was supposed to be on the pill.

His uncle is also very old n sick so he cnt tel hm about us at mo coz it myt finish hm off.

Do u think we have a future? Othas opinions wud b helpful. Thanks! x
Even any advice on how i could push things forward with him wud be appreciated. x

[HeartIsAching]

It's probably your spelling and grammar.

[sss]

Lol..i am very articulate in my spelling but choose to text talk as it is quicker. Thank you for pointing that out though but my question has still not been answered! x

[HeartIsAching]

Yeah well, I'm over 40 and can't read that shit without wincing.

[sss]

Lol..sorry. I shall write gramatically correctly from now on.

[HeartIsAching]

Hey, check it out! I'm a man and I said what I want!

[sss]

Lol..yeh i know! If only i could get my other half to do the same, lol.

[Fruitsss]

So u find it funny if a guy u barely know tells y u would be pregnant and married right now ?
I would be like get th f off. U wants to hold my life while i barely know u u r weird.

But i dont know your culture ,maybe u guys like to marry as soon as possible.next day if its possible.
thats asking for a divorce.

I am not a fa of dating people with kids. Cause the drama is somewhere there.
And this dude is to much in having secret in this and that, here and there.
Its a mess. A secret life while u can be free is wrong.

I think its stupid to ask your question while u already know what he tolds u.
and that is he cant be with u cause of all of that.

In my would a real men that really wants me would be adult enough to go for
me and learn his family to love me.
But he knows u to short.

Looking at your age i would not waste time on this men. he
is not about to step up or stop having secrets.
everything is a secret or mess.
u will have no happiness with him.
and u cant be with him cause he told u its over!move on. plenty of men out there.
stop looking for the drama.

[Fruitsss]

And its not wrong to break it off when u see that its not okay for u.
Cause thats why u take time to know each other to see if
its what u want.

So now u know, move on.

Cause i think a life with him will be only problems and hiding and more secrets.
What kind of life is that??

[BlueberryCookie]

Agree with Fruitsss completely.

[sss]

Yeh i agree with what your sayin and i have already thought that. I mean if he cannot tell his family about his son then how would he ever tell them about me. The only thing is that i love him alot and when i have tried to break it off, i will suffer panick attacks knowing he is not with me anymore, as i have done in the past.
My heart will not listen to my head.
Any ideas on how to make myself unlove him?

[shaz123]

time, everything gets better with time. just ignore your heart and listen to your head x

[Fruitsss]

thats not love go find out what love is before using that word. u just inlove .
if u already thought of not want to make effort to leave why waist our time asking opinions?????????????/

[bcgirl]

How can you have a 7 year old son And hide this from your family. How twisted can some cultures be that you have to be terrified to the point of hiding a precious new life... A son!

[bcgirl]

You lust him, you don't love him. You are in la-la land with him and a fantasy of marriage and the whole 9 yards. Reality is, he is a 35 year old who has a son he doesn't give a sh!t about with an ex who black mails him that she will tell his family. He says he respects his family so much and says he won't marry you, yet he has a half white 7 yr old. You'll probably end up like his ex, use the last alternative and get knocked up and hope that he will propose or introduce you to his family.. It never will happen and you get dumped while 7 months pregnant. No wonder she threatens him with black mail