What is he thinking???

[UnhappyGirl555]

Hello, me and my ex-boyfriend were in a long distance relationship and he broke up with me a week before I was due to be back home. I actually took the break up really well at first and told myself that I shouldn't be a clingy, needy person. He then had a "heart-to-heart-talk"'with me saying he sincerely did not want a break up but situations led him to a decision that we were better off as friends. (Again, he broke up with me a week before I came home) He was very reluctant of the idea of waiting a week for me to get back in order to reconcile properly and at the same time, he was regretful that he had to leave me. That talk had led me to asking him a week later if he had completely given up on us, and he said no. So I brought up the idea of patching things between us when I get back and he agreed to it but wanted to take things slow (we sorta rushed into the relationship).. So, when I got back, he contacted my family to ask which airline I took so he could be at the airport to pick me up (he had never done smthg like this before so it came to be quite a big surprise).. My family had informed him not to pick me up as they wanted to have some family time that night, and he respected that and told me that he would see me soon.

Now, the problem I'm having is - for a few days now I've been really eager to see him and he asks me regarding my plans for the day and if I'm free to meet up. And when I respond to his question saying I'm free, etc etc, he then doesn't give a proper response to plan the meet. It's like he's leaving it hanging and he does it a lot. I kept asking if I get to see him for three days (not in a bugging way) and there was one time that I thought we were gonna meet and I was already waiting for him and he just sends a text to me saying he needs to take a rain check cause he's tired. I got really disappointed and annoyed with him and the next day he asks if I'm free again and when I said I am, he then never got back to me at all. He didn't even answer my calls... I got really upset and sent him a long msg, pouring all my thoughts to him and how I felt I was misled and confused by his actions and if I should wait, etc. He never replied. The next day, I had enough of it, I called him with a different number and he answered almost instantly.. He heard my voice and hanged up me.

I gave up trying to contact him cause I find it a little irresponsible of him to act this way. But I could be wrong, I kept giving him the benefit of the doubt that he's just afraid to meet me or to face the problem and that avoiding is the easiest way to get away with it all. Im still slightly upset but he hanging up on me gave me a nudge to just give up and carry on with life. But I'm a little curious at the moment cause idk what's going on in his mind and I just need some answers to why he acted this way.. Was he just playing me out? Did he really wanted to work things out? Will he come back?

Thank you in advance..

[Hotaru]

Even if he does come back, I suggest you tell him to shove off. Don't beg, no more contact, even if he reaches out to you. You're stroking his ego by continuing to chase him when he obviously doesn't care about your feelings.

It sounds strange to me that he broke up with you because "situations led him to a decision ou were better off as friends". Sounds to me like he doesn't want a LDR and he's being a wimp about admitting it.

[OKANEED]

You are only hurting yourself more and more, how many more ignored messages, how many more hung up phone calls is it going to take before you can't keep playing his game any more. I don't know anyone in a LDR so I can't say anything specific, but I would just leave him alone for a while, and if he comes back then perhaps you should give him a chance, but only on your terms... If he ignores a message without reason ... end it, and if he doesn't come back... then that speaks for itself doesn't it?

[basilandthyme]

I think there's a very good chance he was with someone else while you were away. Let's face it, LDRs leave many of a person's needs unfulfilled.

[aforester]

I agree with basilandthyme. Long term relationships leave a lot to be desired on the trust front.

[desktop]

Unhappy, take it from me—don't ever chase after someone. If you have to chase them, then they aren't worth catching. I know this, because I've done the same thing, only from the male side. You are worth more than what this guy is giving you. If someone truly cares for you and wants to be with you you won't have to chase them down to find out—if they're anything like me they'll be standing on your doorstep with a big grin holding a sign that says "Sent by God."

[haxan]

In a good relationship, neither one has to chase or be more conveniently available to the other. If someone does, then it's a waste of time.

[VincenzoG91]

He won't commit to plans in advance because the OP is the Plan B.

[basilandthyme]

I agree with basilandthyme. Long term relationships leave a lot to be desired on the trust front.

I wasn't thinking of trust when I wrote that....I was more in the realms of phyical affection. But you do have a point.

[Fruitsss]

first time i se such a long senses here.
not atractive to readdddddddddddddd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Hotaru]

first time i se such a long senses here.
not atractive to readdddddddddddddd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As if your mumbo jumbo is easy to read...


"This is the first time I've seen such long sentences here. It's not attractive to read."


I'm assuming that's what you said? >.>

[VincenzoG91]

"Oh stewardess, I speak jive."

[UnhappyGirl555]

Thanks for the replies! I'm still coping with the break up with NC but just can't help thinking he probably has another girl and wants Nthg to do with me anymore. Why do guys do stuff like this! ;(

[drmessup]

Quit tryin to get ahold of him and go find someone else cuz he found someone else bout a week before u got back and only kept u around for a while as insurance. Sorry.