In a relationship where my boyfriend is best friends with his ex wife?

[inloveandinpain]

I met this guy in june '12 and he was just separated with his ex wife and i myself was getting out of my marriage my husband in jail for beating me up. He and I hit it off the next day and started seeing each other everyday there after that and things were weird and rocky because i was started to have feelings for him and he was like a yoyo with me wanted me to be exclusive to him but then treated and introduced me as his friend to everyone. So come end of september i cut all ties with him. October i dated my current roommate and in midst of november i broke up with my roommate and he contacted me two days later. We met up and we hooked up because we both missed each other and he basically made us exclusive and introduced me to his family on thanksgiving. Things were going very great we were both very happy until one issue i had came up the ex wife was still calling and texting him all the time multiple times a day and he was not telling her about me. I had to tell him how i felt about it after constant arguing and he finally told her about me and how i felt. She actually did not call and text as much but he was still contacting her. I asked him if he still had feelings for her and he said he will always love her that she was like family and that they did not break up with any problems other than lack of intimacy. He said i should just trust him and accept that they are friends. However he always talks about her always bringing her up in conversation when we discuss her he gets very defensive over her and would get angry at me. He still has loving pictures of them two in his phone of them cuddling and kissing her forehead. I asked him to get rid of them and he said he is not ready and that he will when he is good and ready he had her saved in his phone with a picture of her sleeping and with his pet name for her but did not even have my number saved in his phone he deleted all pix of me when we were separated. so these things made me feel like he did not care for me rather he was still in love with her. he deleted the pix he had of her sleeping and changed her name back to normal but all the loving pix still remain in his phone. He claims he has to still keep them as married on his facebook since she is dealing with still getting her residency here since she is not from this country but his profile is all completely private makes no sense. Also it says married but not to her. He has all there pix of them on there too she is still posting pix of them online and i looking through his phone noticed he is still commenting on the pix talking about i miss you guys. He even about a week before we started talking again was downloading pix of her from Facebook on to his phone that was just posted recently. He is telling me that ever going to be with her ever again and that i should just trust him and part of me is trying to but part of it makes me feel like hurt inside and a little insecure and jealous...I need to know if should just keep my emotions undercontrol and let time pass, or if i am better off just moving on and not being with someone who still has ties with his ex? Please help me I really like this guy and I want things to work but this is the only issue we have and i want to do the right thing?

[Wakeup]

These are all red flags that you'd best not ignore and get out now. You've ignored red flags before (a partner that beat you) and look where it got you.

Nothing and I mean absolutely NOTHING good comes from being with a man that puts an ex in front of you. Say goodbye now and get yourself some councelling (see your doctor for a referral) if you're not already so that you get over the attraction to men who are no good for you.

Be strong and leave now. Don't wait until he verbally/emotionally or physically bullies you into zero self-worth.

Good luck, be strong ~ you certainly don't need a man who is perpetuating a fraud in your life (illegal residency). Learn to love yourself, if you did, you'd not want another thing to do with him or men like him.

[Saya]

If he is best friends with his ex wife then eventually, they will probably get back together in the future.

If I was you, I don't think I would want to be with a guy who is best friend with their ex's...ex wife etc... It is just too messy.

[surfhb]

I'm still wonderful friends with my ex......we split because of the same reasons as your bf. She will always be a part of my like and will even be a guest at my wedding coming up. I don't download pics of her off Facebook but still have pictures of us in my phone. I know my fiancé had issues with all this because it can be odd. However, she trusts me and knows my position on all this

Furthermore, I would have no problem dumping a woman who demanded I break off all contact with her.....that's just not possible for me and goes againts the loyalty of friendships. Just something to think about

Not taking everything at face value might be wise. Unless he's a complete lying sack of shit, he's made his position clear....he's even tried to accomidate you

[Hotaru]

I agree with Wakeup, I suggest you make your exit fast. The fact that he hesitated to tell her about you and even refused at first says plenty. Their behavior doesn't say "just friends" to me.

@surf - Did you hide your new woman from your ex as well?

[surfhb]

I agree with Wakeup, I suggest you make your exit fast. The fact that he hesitated to tell her about you and even refused at first says plenty. Their behavior doesn't say "just friends" to me.

@surf - Did you hide your new woman from your ex as well?

Ah Oh! I must have skimmed over that part....sorry! Yeah...Red Flag

[Hotaru]

Haha, no problem, it happens sometimes.