Virgin boy in love; read my story & please help!!!!!

[dan_ford]

Hello all,


I am a 19 year old virgin male who had just graduated high school. My dad could probably be a factor because he never talked to me or any other of my brothers about women when growing up. Back during my freshman year, this “very beautiful” girl had a hopeless crush on me. I never had the nerve to start talking to her because it would be like walking up to a gorgeous princess and asking her for her number. It doesn’t seem like that she had the nerve to talk to me either. This girl would always talk
about me; I over heard an conservation one day. She was so angry one day that when I was passing papers back down my row, she jerked them out of my hands; almost gave me a paper cut. I was in a very helpless state at that point because I knew she liked me but I didn’t know what to say even when she was sitting right behind me. I know for sure that she had strong feelings for me. She didn’t mean much to me back then because I was still very young and uneducated about women. Fast forward
about two years during my Junior and Senior year as I got older, I started having feelings for her, more and more every time I saw her in the hall way, a “crush” if you will. We still never talked to each other from the reasons stated above. I think about her everyday now and if not, 360 days a year. I can’t stop thinking about her and almost everytime I do, it sends me into “tears.” The thought of her and a near death experience(stop breathing) I had when I was younger is getting to a point to were its starting to send me into depression. I already have anxiety, panic attacks that are getting worse every year. The little paper incident which happened my ninth grade year, also, knowing
that she could possibly and very well be my soul mate is what fuels my thoughts. I then graduated and now I think I will never see her again, she will probably go to college out of state in a month or two which makes it that much worse. The more I think about it, the “less I like my self.” I always tell my self that I deserve every last bit of pain that I’m going through for not making any moves on her. The thought about going to my school and asking for her address sounded good at times but
less likely to happen because they can’t give out personal information about somebody else. I am a true believer of true love and I think I just let it slip through my fingers. Am I a total loser for not doing anything?



P.S. I find my self passing up good looking women lately just because I can't stop thinking about her. The pain is getting worse everyday day!

I beg you to help me please! THANKS!!!!! Hope to hear back soon.

Danny

[dazedandconfused]

dude, do something!!!!

i can't believe i waited so long to ask for my now-girlfriend's phone number!!!! we are together now and i love her like i never loved anyone, and i am her first love. and it was just the same - occasional glance here and there, our eyes would meet and i would shy away from talking to her. now i am in bliss - she is a gazillion times better than what i could even imagine.

a while ago there was a girl i liked. i never had the courage to walk up to her either, so then i ended up going mad, since she lived in a different country and only came to visit sometimes. i pursued her, asked her friends for her email address, wrote her saying "you probably don't remember me, but i'm that guy you locked eyes with back then..." and she remembered and was glad i contacted her!!! and it was really difficult for me, because her dad is a big shot and she is gorgeous. but we became friends, and then became very intimate both as friends and lovers.

the point is, if she matters to you that much, find a way! remember this: further on down the road, you will never regret giving it a try. but you will regret doing nothing at all, even now.

best of luck!

[LightOn]

Consider her already a friend....If you KNEW for sure she had a big crush on you then, don't even think of rejection.

Think of it this way....If she is worth the risk of rejection, then by all means go for the GOLD!!!

Prepare a Letter for her, study it....mail it to her, or verbally tell her.....Don't do it for you, do it for her.

I'm sure if you tried hard enough you can find a way to contact her.

[dan_ford]

I got all these other negative thoughts running through my head right now. Its usually easier to say things thing then to do things.........

I can't really think of a way of contacting her right now; any thoughts!?

BTW: Thanks for the help already!

[LightOn]

What all do you remember about her? If you have a year book you may possibly be able to find her parents name.....Then maybe looking in the phone book. Someone has to know how to get ahold of her. How big of a school was it?

When you find your way to get in touch....Think of what you have to lose? It is not like your going to lose her friendship. It does not look like you can lose much more than you already have. You can not recover unless you have been rejected first.

[dan_ford]

I feel a little bit better now. Thanks!

[mandingo]

umm write her off man. no point obsessing about a girl you had a crush on and never talked to. Go meet other women there are plenty. Once u meet another one and have some kind of relationship with them you will forget about her at least on everyday basis. I use to be like you. I never asked girls out(even if i knew they liked me) i would wait till they asked me. You will have to grow out of that because i think it only gets harder when your out of school. I for one will not act like that again. U just have to get the mentality of "i dont give a shit what they say" and go do it. Try this also

Sit down
close your eyes
take a deep breath
stand up and say
"i am a pimp"

might help good luck

[LightOn]

LOL Thats my line!!!! j/k , but yes convincing yourself that you are worthy is most definatly the way to go. Have to have some love for yourself

[jane]

Originally posted by LightOn
When you find your way to get in touch....Think of what you have to lose? It is not like your going to lose her friendship. It does not look like you can lose much more than you already have. You can not recover unless you have been rejected first.

by far the best advice I have read all day!!!
He hit the nail on the head...
and to qoute him...

"you can not recover unless you have been rejected first!!! "


You need to put yourself out there. Find her my man!

[LightOn]

Thanks Jane!!!

I have done my homework....

[jane]

and its payed off...

[dan_ford]

Hummm.........

Getting two different points of view.


Quote by mandingo

"umm write her off man. no point obsessing about a girl you had a crush on and never talked to."


Good point but alot harder to do when you've been thinking about one girl for a very, very long time almost on a daily basis.......



The quote by "lighton" was very helpful and so true! I guess I was in so much pain from my thoughts that I got enough curage to ask out my first chick at the car wash but found out that she was to young and I was rejected(Funny how she played if off). Now I don't even think about her anymore, rejection is the best medicine. I totally agree with you on this one!

Nevertheless,

One thing that came to mind when I read your quote was that she is most likely out of state now and if I do have the nerve to pursure her...........It will be a long distance relationship which is probably bad for the both of us.


The thing is, my hart is still scared and I'm still not quite sure what to do...............

[LightOn]

Welcome to "Life 101"

Now you are faced with the question. "Find her? or not?"

If there was someone I had thought about for months upon months and eventually a year, I think it would be extremeley hard to forgive myself if I did not give it a try.....Even if she moved out of state, would making a friendship with her sound better than persuing a romance/relationship? Something is better than nothing!!!

Forgetting about her could very well work.....There have been women in my life that I just could not resist. Time can heal things, and make things harder....The longer you wait to contact someone valuable to you, the harder it will be to actually contact them.

She could very well be longing for you. Tell yourself over and over and over, that you are doing it for her. When thinking of it that way....It will diminish the fear of failure.

[dan_ford]

Originally posted by LightOn

The longer you wait to contact someone valuable to you, the harder it will be to actually contact them.


She could very well be longing for you. Tell yourself over and over and over, that you are doing it for her. When thinking of it that way....It will diminish the fear of failure.

This is the point of stage I am at right now. I have always wanted to contact her but have failed to do so. Its getting harder and harder everyday to. Hopefully I can get a friend to help me out on this one;one thing is for sure, I will probably not be able to do this myself. I feel extremely nervous when I think about doing something like this(Only with her, not neccesarly with other women).


Lighton,

I would like to think you again for pointing out alot of common sense things that I didn't know about. You have rose my spirits alot, THANKS ALOT!! and good day to your Sir.

[LightOn]

No problem...I am greatful I could be of assistance. Good luck and go get her