Girlfriend wants to get more tattoos, but I don't like them

[Marcus2012]

Okay... my girlfriend is very strong about her opinions about anything and she rarely changes it and this bothers me a lot.

What is bothering me now is that she wants to get more tattoos... she already had one when we started dating, she got another one after and now she wants at least 2 more.
I like the ones she has now, but I think there's a limit. Too much tattoos will ruin her body and I'm afraid I won't like her body anymore or that the tattoos will look ugly.
I also think filling your body with permanent modifications is a serious sign of immaturity.

We already argued about it a bit, and her point is that I already knew she liked it when we started dating and that she likes it a lot.
In the end, I think she will do it despite my opinion and this bothers me. I would at least consider not doing some permanent modification to my body if my partner thought it would look ugly.

She also said "we could talk about it after she had done it, and if I didn't like her or her body anymore, we could see about that". I mean... what there is to talk after she's done it?

Should I cool down and accept it or should in insist in my point that she has to consider my opinion?

[surfhb]

Well your opinions about body art are just yours.....which basically means it doesn't mean shite when it involves 2 people.

You have 2 choices: accept it and love her for who she is or move on.

Oh...and btw....forcing your opinions on another individual makes you an asshole.

[VincenzoG91]

In a long-term relationship, you need to choose your battles carefully. Unless you are ready to break up over additional tattoos, you shouldn't have picked this fight.

I understand how you're feeling. My girlfriend got a really big tattoo on her leg a few months ago, and given that the most prominent color is red, it looks like a gruesome injury at a glance. I would have advised her against it, but she didn't even consider my opinion when she got it. She already had a couple of smaller tattoos that I didn't mind, so she didn't think the new one would bother me. Since she already got it, I didn't see any point in starting an argument about it, so she doesn't even know that I dislike it.

[HeartIsAching]

Okay... my girlfriend is very strong about her opinions about anything and she rarely changes it and this bothers me a lot.

What is bothering me now is that she wants to get more tattoos... she already had one when we started dating, she got another one after and now she wants at least 2 more.
I like the ones she has now, but I think there's a limit. Too much tattoos will ruin her body and I'm afraid I won't like her body anymore or that the tattoos will look ugly.
I also think filling your body with permanent modifications is a serious sign of immaturity.

We already argued about it a bit, and her point is that I already knew she liked it when we started dating and that she likes it a lot.
In the end, I think she will do it despite my opinion and this bothers me. I would at least consider not doing some permanent modification to my body if my partner thought it would look ugly.

She also said "we could talk about it after she had done it, and if I didn't like her or her body anymore, we could see about that". I mean... what there

Should I cool down and accept it or should in insist in my point that she has to consider my opinion?

Controlling, much? I wouldn't even take that crap from my wife.

Sounds to me as if your GF has a healthy attitude about HER body, and whether or not she puts permanent art on HER body, and whether or not you get a say in it - you don't. Live with it, or break up with her.

[Marcus2012]

Yeah, I just read something about "picking my battles carefully", Vincenzo, and it really makes a lot of sense.
But it's hard to just stand by and say nothing about it... even knowing it's a battle I can't win, I feel the need to tell her that I don't aprove this and that I wouldn't like it.

I don't know if I would leave her over more tattoos, but I think I would leave her for not caring about my opinion.
Doesn't it makes you think like "if she is willing to permanently modify her body to something I dislike... then what value do I have to her?".

And surfhb, I don't think a person's opinion about her body is all that should count in a relationship.
My gf loves my beard for instance. I would never do a laser removal that would get rid of it forever (I don't want to... but suppose I did).
Worse... what if told her that I wanted to do it, and if she didn't like my face anymore after, we could talk about it?

[Marcus2012]

Controlling, much? I wouldn't even take that crap from my wife.

Sounds to me as if your GF has a healthy attitude about HER body, and whether or not she puts permanent art on HER body, and whether or not you get a say in it - you don't. Live with it, or break up with her.

People tend to say that a lot as far as I've seen, but I don't think it's that simple.
Suppose your wife didn't like her breasts and decided to remove them... suppose she decided to make one of thoses horn modifications on her face... would you like that? Would you still love her?
I know those are extreme examples, but what's the point in having someone else in your life if you're gonna do whatever the hell you want and they have to accept it?

[surfhb]

Yeah, I just read something about "picking my battles carefully", Vincenzo, and it really makes a lot of sense.
But it's hard to just stand by and say nothing about it... even knowing it's a battle I can't win, I feel the need to tell her that I don't aprove this and that I wouldn't like it.

I don't know if I would leave her over more tattoos, but I think I would leave her for not caring about my opinion.
Doesn't it makes you think like "if she is willing to permanently modify her body to something I dislike... then what value do I have to her?".

And surfhb, I don't think a person's opinion about her body is all that should count in a relationship.
My gf loves my beard for instance. I would never do a laser removal that would get rid of it forever (I don't want to... but suppose I did).
Worse... what if told her that I wanted to do it, and if she didn't like my face anymore after, we could talk about it?

You could talk all you want about it but if YOU don't like the beard and she is unwilling to accept you that way then she's noT the one for you.

What can I say bro.....you picked a girl who's head strong. You can either accept things as is or not

[Marcus2012]

My girlfriend got a really big tattoo on her leg a few months ago

Forgot to ask... do you still like her the same way? Do you think less of her because of this?

You could talk all you want about it but if YOU don't like the beard and she is unwilling to accept you that way then she's noT the one for you.

What can I say bro.....you picked a girl who's head strong. You can either accept things as is or not

I guess you're right.
I have the impression that the more I say I'm against it, the more she want's to do it! I think it's just women psychology...

I think I can live with 2 more tattoos on her body, if they're not that big and if can at least give my opinion about it before she does them.

[HeartIsAching]

People tend to say that a lot as far as I've seen, but I don't think it's that simple.
Suppose your wife didn't like her breasts and decided to remove them... suppose she decided to make one of thoses horn modifications on her face... would you like that? Would you still love her?
I know those are extreme examples, but what's the point in having someone else in your life if you're gonna do whatever the hell you want and they have to accept it?

They're her breasts. It's her body. I may not like what she does to her body, but it's not for me to say.

And of course I would still love her. I don't love her because of her tits.

Yes, you don't get to control other people. You keep trying with her, and I foresee that you'll be single soon.

[Marcus2012]

They're her breasts. It's her body. I may not like what she does to her body, but it's not for me to say.

And of course I would still love her. I don't love her because of her tits.

Yes, you don't get to control other people. You keep trying with her, and I foresee that you'll be single soon.

I think that's a fantasy and no one really thinks that. It's easy to say you'd love someone no matter how she/he looks, but to actually do that, is something else...

Love has much to do with appearance, with sexual attraction... it's not all there is, but it's a big part of it.
Most men would never have a long relationship with a stupid, arrogant, selfless but beautiful woman, as they would never have it with a briliant, caring but ugly woman.

Also, it's not control if you talk to the person, if you express you feelings and hope they understand you...
Wifes advices their husbands all the time to wear this or that, to comb the hair a certain way, to buy this perfum instead of the other one, and so on... this is not control, this is caring...

[VincenzoG91]

Forgot to ask... do you still like her the same way? Do you think less of her because of this?

It's a mixed bag. On the one hand, I still sometimes glance at her and think that her leg is burned or bleeding, just for a moment. On the other hand, it makes me notice her legs more, and her legs look better since she started doing yoga.

[surfhb]

Again....she doesn't have to do what you think....it's her body. Some women ask thier mans opinion and may change thier outfit based on his opinion and some do whatever they want.

It's your life.....accept things or not

[HeartIsAching]

I think that's a fantasy and no one really thinks that. It's easy to say you'd love someone no matter how she/he looks, but to actually do that, is something else...

Love has much to do with appearance, with sexual attraction... it's not all there is, but it's a big part of it.
Most men would never have a long relationship with a stupid, arrogant, selfless but beautiful woman, as they would never have it with a briliant, caring but ugly woman.

Also, it's not control if you talk to the person, if you express you feelings and hope they understand you...
Wifes advices their husbands all the time to wear this or that, to comb the hair a certain way, to buy this perfum instead of the other one, and so on... this is not control, this is caring...

Enjoy being single.

[vashti]

If my partner were opposed, I think I would want to know beforehand, and I should hope he would consider my opinion if the roles were reversed, too. We aren't talking about a haircut... tattoos are permanent and optional.

It's one thing if she carefully weighed your input and decided to do otherwise, but I think it is reasonable to be concerned if you feel she never really even considered your point of view.

[Maple1714]

I can relate to this. I recently got a pretty big tattoo, my first one. It's on my hip/butt/upper thigh...prob. about 2'ft long. It had been something I had been thinking about for years, even before I met my BF. I decided to go ahead with getting it and didn't care what my BF thought. He was all upset b/c I didn't want him to come with me to my appointment and I didn't really discuss things with him. He said he wanted to see the drawing first...why to give his opinion? It wasn't about him AT ALL. If he didn't like it, then that's his deal. I am an artist and a designer in my profession. I know what looks good and the tattoo is beautiful, it's just big! I love it and he has grown to like it too. He thinks it cost too much money though, and he still feels left out of the whole process. Every other BF I have had has had tattoos....my current one doesn't.

Your GF will resent you if you try and talk her out of getting them. She will resent you if you do not support her. The real issue here is are you willing to accept her...tattoos and all? People change and they can grow apart...that's natural. When two people can change and grow together, that's what makes for a real lasting relationship. Please do not try and be her father...she will leave you.