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Thread: Is it normal to feel like this in a long term relationship?

  1. #1
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    Is it normal to feel like this in a long term relationship?

    To feel more like best friends rather than boyfriend and girlfriend?

    I suppose its good to a certain extent because you feel closer because you feel more friendly towards each other but is it worrying when most or all of the romantic feelings go?

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    Yup.......as long as you both are happy, enjoy being together, it's all good.

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    Long lasting relationships pretty much always lose the bulk of their heat and passion. It's when this passion fades but the relationship continues, strong as ever, that you know you have something real.

    However, if you feel it's completely gone, it could be one of two things - 1) you grew apart 2) you just need to put that spark back. Go out somewhere romantic, buy something sexy and have some fun, whatever you think that will bring the heat back. I don't think any couple can be together for decades without having to spice things up, it doesn't just happen, you make a conscious effort to make it happen.

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    Thanks guys

    I agree with you both. I just started to panic a little when I noticed me and my boyfriend of nearly 3 yrs were starting to feel more like brother and sister or best friends. He said he feels we are more friendly but that is a good thing over all because we have more fun and are more content around each other and also that he still has the love feelings for me too.

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    Ya I agree it takes work, having lots in common, and being able to introduce new activities, and interests that you or both of you can share...also having a life outside the relationship to be with others and do your own thing keeps things fresh.

    Hey we all wish that those feelings of passion would stick around lol

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    This happened to me with my fiance. We just grew apart. I tried to put the spark back in to the relationship, but she did not want to try. It became too one sided. So, we called it quits. It was hard on both of us, but it was for the best. It was later that I found out that she was involved with her "gay" friend. But, it was right after we broke up. So, she just had feelings for another and did not want to cheat on me. I don't blame her though.

    Like the others said, try to put the spark back in the relationship. Otherwise, it is ok to be just friends.

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    I know he is deffo happy with the way things are. He says he still has all the romantic feelings and still wants to be with me forever but I often wonder if I still feel that :/ sometimes I wonder if I see him more as a best friend that I have some feelings for. I don't know if that's because lately we've been under a lot of pressure or maybe its because I'm on the pill, I know that can much up how you feel. Gonna wait ffor a while and see how things go before I ever do anything drastic because I do love him and want the best for both of us.

    Thanks for all replies x

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    Quote Originally Posted by DawkinsDaFihsh View Post
    a best friend that I have some feelings for
    Isn't this the best you can get? Or are you doubting the intensity of your feelings for him?

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    Well, women tend to be satisfied being friends with a guy. However, in most cases, for a guy to be friends with a woman is a very special kind of torture. The testosterone drives men to seek sexual satisfaction. If that isn't happening in your relationship, I would be concerned.

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    Quote Originally Posted by DawkinsDaFihsh View Post
    To feel more like best friends rather than boyfriend and girlfriend?

    I suppose its good to a certain extent because you feel closer because you feel more friendly towards each other but is it worrying when most or all of the romantic feelings go?
    Those "romantic feelings" going away, merely signals the end of the honeymoon period. That's normal.

    Feeling like your best friends - that's not normal, but it sure ought to be. That's the real "Love" part IMNSHO. Think about it - I know I'd shove my wife out of the way of a car that was about to hit her, and take the hit myself. I know when we go on a bike ride, I ride behind her so that if a car hits someone, it's me. I know my wife is my best friend, and I know I'm hers.

    I kind of think that DEFINES love.

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    If there's a hole in road when you're out on your bike, she would take the hit first, leaving you safe. Not cool bro.

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    Quote Originally Posted by dem862 View Post
    Well, women tend to be satisfied being friends with a guy. However, in most cases, for a guy to be friends with a woman is a very special kind of torture. The testosterone drives men to seek sexual satisfaction. If that isn't happening in your relationship, I would be concerned.
    This post wont be popular, it's too honest.

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    Every time I have felt like my BF was like a brother I have broken up with them. Who wants to have sex with their brother? But, this has been a problem for me. I am starting to realize that always chasing that "new" passionate stage in relationships is like a drug addiction, and I always fades! Putting real time and effort into making someone else happy means something. Two people putting effort into a relationship pays off. Your partner should feel like your very best friend...but not your brother.

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    Quote Originally Posted by TheSaint View Post
    If there's a hole in road when you're out on your bike, she would take the hit first, leaving you safe. Not cool bro.
    Only if she was too stupid to go around it - she ain't.

  15. #15
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    Thing is, if she sees her boyfriend as a brother, then the sex drive will obviously diminish. But if she sees him as her best friend, there can still be sexual tension and intimacy, it will just be on a deeper emotional level.

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