working out because of a breakup?

[CrazyAboutHer]

Hi everyone,

About a week or 2 I've been having some trouble with this girl I really like. She showed some interest in me about a month back but now not so much, and she is even clinging to this other guy 'friend' of her's.

I have a little overweight ( not that much, and Im the weird buff fat kind a.t.m. ) so I got it in my head that I need to lose weight NOW if I don't wanna lose her.

Even though I kind of know this is what I'm doing, I can't change my behavior; I am eating far less than I used to: we're talking about 2 boiled eggs for breakfast and 1 for lunch, an apple as snack en afterwards dinner which the past weeks has been bread and soup.

The diet sounds pretty strict put for some reason it comes very easy..
So far I have lost a lot of weight( 11lbs in 2 weeks, goals is another 25 or so) for the period of time, and I am feeling better about my body but still feeling kind of bad because of that girl, which distracts from the hunger.

To not have to think about it and get a clear head, I go to the gym, about 4 times a week. It's the only place were I can escape from it all.

My question is, is this good? I'm talking on a psychological level, on health level I'm feeling fine and don't have any complaints.

Let me know.

[Call Me Maybe]

it's good that you're exercising but the reason you provided is a recipe for disaster. If you're going through all this effort because of a girl and she decides she doesn't feel the same about you, then what? You'll just give up since your plan didn't work? Your motivation should be for your health and confidence

[CrazyAboutHer]

It's not just that specific girl, it's more what she represents to me.
I am aware that this isn't the way to get her back, can't be sure of it, but im not expecting her to be swooned like *snap* that.
I am exercising to get her back or a similar girl, she is just the mental image which I have. The feelings which I still have for her are a driving force, can't deny that.
And with all that happend my ego and confidence took quite a beating, I think that's an important factor as well.

If it doesn't work, I'll just have to move on, but I do agree, if I don't get approval from my peers/girls I worry it might collapse, or that I get 'addicted' to exercising.

[AnnonymousMan]

You need to lose the weight for yourself bro. Not this chick. Personally, this girl will not care if you're a little overweight if she truly likes you. I have seen many chicks with ugly or fat guys who are broke. It is surprising but most women view things differently when it comes to appearance like that. Guys tend to put how hot a chick is above everything else.

I have never tried working out for your reasons but I do know you should take some vitamins or something. Starving yourself will hurt your body. You need to stay fueled up so eat and eat. Just pick what you eat very carefully and keep track of how many calories you take in. I recommend never touching soda again. Only take in water. I have had multiple friends or relatives quit soda and drop 10 pounds in less than a month.

You said this girl stopped taking interest in you? I think you should also work on making yourself more appealing. There are millions of websites that list how to make yourself more appealing. You also said "Month" which tells me you most likely never put the moves on this chick. A whole lot of chicks will get fed up of waiting around and they will move on. I have found that if you just man up and grow some balls and lay the smack down on a chick, if she likes you, she WILL take the bait. Get a little knowledge on how to read female signals and all that bullshit head games they pull. Goodluck man.

[CrazyAboutHer]

You need to lose the weight for yourself bro. Not this chick. Personally, this girl will not care if you're a little overweight if she truly likes you. I have seen many chicks with ugly or fat guys who are broke. It is surprising but most women view things differently when it comes to appearance like that. Guys tend to put how hot a chick is above everything else.

I have never tried working out for your reasons but I do know you should take some vitamins or something. Starving yourself will hurt your body. You need to stay fueled up so eat and eat. Just pick what you eat very carefully and keep track of how many calories you take in. I recommend never touching soda again. Only take in water. I have had multiple friends or relatives quit soda and drop 10 pounds in less than a month.

You said this girl stopped taking interest in you? I think you should also work on making yourself more appealing. There are millions of websites that list how to make yourself more appealing. You also said "Month" which tells me you most likely never put the moves on this chick. A whole lot of chicks will get fed up of waiting around and they will move on. I have found that if you just man up and grow some balls and lay the smack down on a chick, if she likes you, she WILL take the bait. Get a little knowledge on how to read female signals and all that bullshit head games they pull. Goodluck man.

Thanks man, I've decided to work out from now on for myself, so I feel more confident en pleased with myself. I've given up soda a long time ago, I've tried losing weight before and losing soda is indeed one of the fastest ways to lose weight. I'll try the vitamines [pills].

The month part, there's a back story: We were flirting back and forth, going on a couple of dates. We follow the same study, so in week 2 we were both busy learning [exams], but maintained contact even during learning.

Not to blow my own horn, but I can be charming and keep the conversation flowing and im not afraid to make a move, that's not a common problem for me.
Problem was she went completely quiet, which is weird for her. I've dealt with the situation before but she is playing some ****ing mindgame which is driving me insane.

Thanks for the advice

[AGuy101]

Thanks man, I've decided to work out from now on for myself, so I feel more confident en pleased with myself. I've given up soda a long time ago, I've tried losing weight before and losing soda is indeed one of the fastest ways to lose weight. I'll try the vitamines [pills].

The month part, there's a back story: We were flirting back and forth, going on a couple of dates. We follow the same study, so in week 2 we were both busy learning [exams], but maintained contact even during learning.

Not to blow my own horn, but I can be charming and keep the conversation flowing and im not afraid to make a move, that's not a common problem for me.
Problem was she went completely quiet, which is weird for her. I've dealt with the situation before but she is playing some ****ing mindgame which is driving me insane.

Thanks for the advice

You aren't working out. Jesus Christ you know shit about fitness. Me and you could both weigh 140 pounds but I am still gonna be leaner than you, faster than you, sharper than you and a shit ton stronger. I will even have less body fat than you.

You eat 2 eggs for breakfast and 1 for lunch? Listen to me: do not do that. What do you even do at the gym run on a stair-master for an hour? 4 times a week is nothing too. And you need to mix it up. This is what you need to do to build muscle, not just lose body-weight which is ****ing stupid:

First, calculate your RMR (resting metabolic rate) by weighing yourself then multiplying it by 10.
Then add 20% of your RMR to that.
Then add about 500-600 to that number.

That is how many calories you need to eat a day. The last number depends on if you are working out or are retarded and have no idea what you're doing. But you actually want to eat more food depending on your weight so that it turns into muscle.

You are gonna need to do abs, plyo, chest, shoulders, arms, back, legs, biceps, triceps and yoga if you expect anything. Then take a rest at the end of the week. They are programs out there like P90X and Insanity. Don't just not eat, that fails.

[AnnonymousMan]

Problem was she went completely quiet, which is weird for her. I've dealt with the situation before but she is playing some ****ing mindgame which is driving me insane.

Completely quiet? Sounds like she either met another guy or she found things out about you that she doesn't like. She might also be trying the oldschool tactic of cat and mouse. She might be seeing if you chase after her. I suggest ignoring her for a little while yourself and seeing if she begins contacting you. If not then you might have nothing to lose at this point and you should just send her a straight forward text telling her you are interested in her as more then a friend and you would like to go out on a date or something. When all else fails you have nothing to lose by being straight forward and getting a final verdict.

[CrazyAboutHer]

You aren't working out. Jesus Christ you know shit about fitness. Me and you could both weigh 140 pounds but I am still gonna be leaner than you, faster than you, sharper than you and a shit ton stronger. I will even have less body fat than you.

You eat 2 eggs for breakfast and 1 for lunch? Listen to me: do not do that. What do you even do at the gym run on a stair-master for an hour? 4 times a week is nothing too. And you need to mix it up. This is what you need to do to build muscle, not just lose body-weight which is ****ing stupid:

First, calculate your RMR (resting metabolic rate) by weighing yourself then multiplying it by 10.
Then add 20% of your RMR to that.
Then add about 500-600 to that number.

That is how many calories you need to eat a day. The last number depends on if you are working out or are retarded and have no idea what you're doing. But you actually want to eat more food depending on your weight so that it turns into muscle.

You are gonna need to do abs, plyo, chest, shoulders, arms, back, legs, biceps, triceps and yoga if you expect anything. Then take a rest at the end of the week. They are programs out there like P90X and Insanity. Don't just not eat, that fails.

Dude, what the F is your problem?

I have been working out for the 3 years, maybe not a very long time, relatively speaking, but I'm no rookie.
This situation has just caused me to be more preoccupied with going to the gym.

You can't expect me to believe you saying I'm doing it wrong; you don't know my workout routine, you don't know my BMI, you know a fraction of my eating habits, all that yet you're judging my whole work out and me along with it?

I have a balanced workout schedule of cardio and weights, in the past weeks i've done nothing but gaining muscles and losing fat. I've been doing it along with a trainer so yeah I'm pretty sure I got that covered don't you think?

In my post it says I don't wanna hear about the health aspect of it, that's not what this is about and I allready know about RMR, so yeah thanks for nothing bro.

You missed the point of this post I'm guessing.

[haxan]

Hey, girls, and guys for that matter, can get turned off by something minor and just move their affections somewhere else. Could it have been your body? Maybe. But just as likely something else.

Keep on working out and getting in better shape, but I wouldn't lose too much sleep over why her interest got re-directed. It just happens sometimes. I had a movie watching first date (at her place) with a really hot chick one time. It was perfect, until I actually looked around at her kitchen, bathroom etc., and just noticed how dirty she was in general, and she was a professional, well put together woman.

There was something about it that just kind of turned me off on getting to know her more...and I'm by no means a picky, clean freak. She probably never knew the real reason why I never hooked back up with her, because I just told her I was busy and we stopped talking.

Maybe she hit the gym harder after that, who knows? See what I mean

[AGuy101]

Dude, what the F is your problem?

I have been working out for the 3 years, maybe not a very long time, relatively speaking, but I'm no rookie.
This situation has just caused me to be more preoccupied with going to the gym.

You can't expect me to believe you saying I'm doing it wrong; you don't know my workout routine, you don't know my BMI, you know a fraction of my eating habits, all that yet you're judging my whole work out and me along with it?

I have a balanced workout schedule of cardio and weights, in the past weeks i've done nothing but gaining muscles and losing fat. I've been doing it along with a trainer so yeah I'm pretty sure I got that covered don't you think?

In my post it says I don't wanna hear about the health aspect of it, that's not what this is about and I allready know about RMR, so yeah thanks for nothing bro.

You missed the point of this post I'm guessing.

Wow. You're a total retard. Trainer? Wow... You're an imbecile. 3 years?

[AnnonymousMan]

AGuy101 chill out bro, no need to insult the OP. Maybe he likes to stay healthy and his goals are not to become a guido.

[AGuy101]

AGuy101 chill out bro, no need to insult the OP. Maybe he likes to stay healthy and his goals are not to become a guido.

Correct. There is no good on a psychological level. Psychology studies how man came to be. Good good is philosophical. The good is that which sustains the existence of the organism's life; the bad is that which destroys it. And all men have the choice to hurt themselves or to preserve themselves. That is the good and the bad.

So, this guy^^^ (OP), is losing weight to get a girl. Why is he doing it? Because he wants that girl. So what is he doing? He is acting in his own self-interest. What is self-interest? Whatever is good for the preservation of the self. If you want something, love something and cannot live without it... then you cannot live without it. So therefore it is good.

But what is your highest value? Value means to act to gain and/or keep. This means that your life is the standard. Your ultimate value is yourself and you are losing weight for yourself to acquire this girl who is a value to YOU, yourself.

Of course you could just ask her out? If she is not a projection of virtue then move on or don't. Men have the choice to hurt themselves or preserve themselves.

Cheers.

[CrazyAboutHer]

Correct. There is no good on a psychological level. Psychology studies how man came to be. Good good is philosophical. The good is that which sustains the existence of the organism's life; the bad is that which destroys it. And all men have the choice to hurt themselves or to preserve themselves. That is the good and the bad.

So, this guy^^^ (OP), is losing weight to get a girl. Why is he doing it? Because he wants that girl. So what is he doing? He is acting in his own self-interest. What is self-interest? Whatever is good for the preservation of the self. If you want something, love something and cannot live without it... then you cannot live without it. So therefore it is good.

But what is your highest value? Value means to act to gain and/or keep. This means that your life is the standard. Your ultimate value is yourself and you are losing weight for yourself to acquire this girl who is a value to YOU, yourself.

Of course you could just ask her out? If she is not a projection of virtue then move on or don't. Men have the choice to hurt themselves or preserve themselves.

Cheers.

Allright, nice going dude, very philosophical. Never taught any random person could be explained by a couple of sentences..


You can try and argue by attacking me, as you did in your previous to last comment, but I don't think that will convince a lot of people of your right, however it is your choice and do as you see fit.

I'm not looking to be a guido, just fit. It's working out so far, the health aspect is covered by my [new] diet plan and my trainer ( don't really get what's funny behind that but ok ).

Point is: I know what i'm doing in the gym, and I have a trainer/coach as support, everything is fine on that level, that's why I'm not here for the health aspect.


Relax, take a deep breath and if you have something constructive to add, please do so in a [somewhat] respective manner, shouldn't be to much to ask I would say. And if not you can be quiet; I'll know you'll only have something angry/insulting to respond, you'll know you only have something angry/insulting to respond, everybody we'll know you have something angry/insulting to respond. No need to waste your time on typing it, or anybody else reading it.

Try and surprise us ok?

[CrazyAboutHer]

Hey, girls, and guys for that matter, can get turned off by something minor and just move their affections somewhere else. Could it have been your body? Maybe. But just as likely something else.

Keep on working out and getting in better shape, but I wouldn't lose too much sleep over why her interest got re-directed. It just happens sometimes. I had a movie watching first date (at her place) with a really hot chick one time. It was perfect, until I actually looked around at her kitchen, bathroom etc., and just noticed how dirty she was in general, and she was a professional, well put together woman.

There was something about it that just kind of turned me off on getting to know her more...and I'm by no means a picky, clean freak. She probably never knew the real reason why I never hooked back up with her, because I just told her I was busy and we stopped talking.

Maybe she hit the gym harder after that, who knows? See what I mean

Yeah I know, I do realize that. It's just with her I thought I had her figured out to some extent and didn't expect it.

Right now I'm thinking I was wrong, and may just be what you described.

Ah well, time to move on I guess ..

[vashti]

Too much cholesterol, and not enough vegetables.