Im dating this guy who claims to be bisexual

[skybeam]

Im depressed. Feeling lonely and unattractive.
I thought he was genuinely "the one"
Ive known him for months and began dating only a week ago, I was in paradise, I began falling for this guy deeply,... but today
he confided in me he was bisexual, 80% into women 20% into men and that he throughly had a fantastic experience with a man last summer.
He claims its simply genitalia and that he would never engage in any sort of relationship with any man out there.
However I feel sad.. confused..
I feel that i lost my knight in shining armor, the one who was genuinely 100% perfect...
I really didnt tell him anything yet, we havnt slept together yet although we have been engaging in very deep and passionate kissing.
The bottom line is this.. I feel ill never be able to satisfy him 100%.
He will obviously want to have other sexual relationships with men and he doesnt believe in faithfulness.
Hes genuinely a good sweet person and we get along so well.. we have so much in common..
but since he admitted to me that he is bisexual, i perceive him as 100% gay, i perceive him to be less manly, and i love men im straight !

What to do... Im so afraid to talk to him about this because he really despises close minded people and im so afraid of making him think im judging him..

helpppppppppppp

[BlackRose]

It sounds to me like you are a insensitive b!tch. He felt confident enough in your relationship to share that with you but you obviously can't handle it. I mean, everyone has their preferences, but come on! He told you he was bi and that he'd never want a relationship with a man. Being that I am bi myself and feel the same way in regard to women, I will tell you now that you have no need to worry about him straying. You sound very insecure which leads me to believe that you both are fairly young. Take some time to think this all over. Is this all really worth it? Meaning... Is it worth throwing the relationship away just because you found out your man isn't "perfect?" Perfection doesn't exist hon. No way, no how. You sound to me like you placed him on a pedistal and he ended up falling off. That's such a stupid thing to do. YOu need to realize that men are flawed just like women. The human race is flawed and we should appreciate the imperfections as well as the perfections. So your man likes men. Big deal. What I suggest you do is sit down and have a serious talk with him. Tell him how you feel about it. Be careful what you say though. Be sensitive. Imagine yourself in a similarly sensitive situation. Figure out how you would want to be treated. Tell him that you are worried that he might not be fully satisfied (though I guarentee you he is) and ask if there is anything you can do to ensure his full satisfaction. When he tells you that you satisfy him and that you are enough, believe him. Men generally are pretty straight foreword with this stuff. Just trust your man. Especially if you claim to like him so much. Honestly though, if you can't see yourself accepting him the way he is, I suggest you tell him. If you do this, make sure he realzied that it was you and not him that messed things up. He trusted you and you couldn't handle it. He shouldn't have to feel like he can't tell people this in the future. No need to kill the guys spirits on top of it all. As for the whole you judging him thing, sorry to tell you this hon, but you are. Your whole post was judgemental. You called him imperfect, you claimed that you thought he might stray, and that you now think he is "gay." All of those things are very judgemental and quite selfish. You sound too immature to handle a nice guy like him. Wish I could show him this post of yours and let him see you for who you really are. God I hate this shit.

[OpticalIllusion]

As for the whole you judging him thing, sorry to tell you this hon, but you are. Your whole post was judgemental. You called him imperfect, you claimed that you thought he might stray, and that you now think he is "gay." All of those things are very judgemental and quite selfish. You sound too immature to handle a nice guy like him. Wish I could show him this post of yours and let him see you for who you really are. God I hate this shit.

Word...

Bi Guy count: #3

I don't think I could ever agree more. Also being Bi, I know from experience that there are many girls like you out there. I've dated a few myself. In all honesty I find girls like you to be closed minded, insecure, and just plain cold sometimes.

I can't count the number of times i've had a good relationship ruined because the girl found out that I was Bi... they all freak out. let me explain that Bi does NOT mean gay.

I'm curious... does this problem you have with him, really stem from his flaw... or from your own insecure one?

I'm with Black Rose on this one... I AM sick of this shit!

[bohemiandonut]

Oh, give her a break you two!

Seriously, it's not "close-minded" or "insecure" to be hurt when your lover confides to you that they are attracted (even "20%," whatever that means) to members of the opposite sex. It's natural to want to feel 100% desired, and to be the sole interest of your mate. Skybeam, I totally feel for you.

The ironic thing is that BlackRose and OpticalIllusion are the ones who are actually insecure. They somehow felt so threatened by your post they had to resort to name-calling instead of showing some compassion.

Sky, you need to work through this awkwardness and communicate with your boyfriend. Tell him exactly how you feel. Personally I'm not quite sure of his agenda, just because I don't see the purpose in telling you that he is "sort of bisexual," unless he is warning you of something. So you have every right to be weary. But if you genuinely like him, don't be afraid and let him know what's on your mind. Maybe he just needs some gentle prodding to be able to fully commit to this relationship.

He seems like he is the one who is actually being immature here. He should be thoughtful enough to at least assure you that you are his only concern. Instead he chose to scare you by revealing his ambiguous personality. He is obviously not "perfect."

Communicate and be honest, but protect yourself. Don't let him hurt you.

Peace.

[Sine-Nomine]

It sounds to me like you are a insensitive b!tch. He felt confident enough in your relationship to share that with you but you obviously can't handle it. I mean, everyone has their preferences, but come on! He told you he was bi and that he'd never want a relationship with a man. Being that I am bi myself and feel the same way in regard to women, I will tell you now that you have no need to worry about him straying. You sound very insecure which leads me to believe that you both are fairly young. Take some time to think this all over. Is this all really worth it? Meaning... Is it worth throwing the relationship away just because you found out your man isn't "perfect?" Perfection doesn't exist hon. No way, no how. You sound to me like you placed him on a pedistal and he ended up falling off. That's such a stupid thing to do. YOu need to realize that men are flawed just like women. The human race is flawed and we should appreciate the imperfections as well as the perfections. So your man likes men. Big deal. What I suggest you do is sit down and have a serious talk with him. Tell him how you feel about it. Be careful what you say though. Be sensitive. Imagine yourself in a similarly sensitive situation. Figure out how you would want to be treated. Tell him that you are worried that he might not be fully satisfied (though I guarentee you he is) and ask if there is anything you can do to ensure his full satisfaction. When he tells you that you satisfy him and that you are enough, believe him. Men generally are pretty straight foreword with this stuff. Just trust your man. Especially if you claim to like him so much. Honestly though, if you can't see yourself accepting him the way he is, I suggest you tell him. If you do this, make sure he realzied that it was you and not him that messed things up. He trusted you and you couldn't handle it. He shouldn't have to feel like he can't tell people this in the future. No need to kill the guys spirits on top of it all. As for the whole you judging him thing, sorry to tell you this hon, but you are. Your whole post was judgemental. You called him imperfect, you claimed that you thought he might stray, and that you now think he is "gay." All of those things are very judgemental and quite selfish. You sound too immature to handle a nice guy like him. Wish I could show him this post of yours and let him see you for who you really are. God I hate this shit.

I agree with the whole damn thing, except for the fact that you called her a *****.

[skybeam]

It sounds to me like you are a insensitive b!tch. He felt confident enough in your relationship to share that with you but you obviously can't handle it. I mean, everyone has their preferences, but come on! He told you he was bi and that he'd never want a relationship with a man. Being that I am bi myself and feel the same way in regard to women, I will tell you now that you have no need to worry about him straying. You sound very insecure which leads me to believe that you both are fairly young. Take some time to think this all over. Is this all really worth it? Meaning... Is it worth throwing the relationship away just because you found out your man isn't "perfect?" Perfection doesn't exist hon. No way, no how. You sound to me like you placed him on a pedistal and he ended up falling off. That's such a stupid thing to do. YOu need to realize that men are flawed just like women. The human race is flawed and we should appreciate the imperfections as well as the perfections. So your man likes men. Big deal. What I suggest you do is sit down and have a serious talk with him. Tell him how you feel about it. Be careful what you say though. Be sensitive. Imagine yourself in a similarly sensitive situation. Figure out how you would want to be treated. Tell him that you are worried that he might not be fully satisfied (though I guarentee you he is) and ask if there is anything you can do to ensure his full satisfaction. When he tells you that you satisfy him and that you are enough, believe him. Men generally are pretty straight foreword with this stuff. Just trust your man. Especially if you claim to like him so much. Honestly though, if you can't see yourself accepting him the way he is, I suggest you tell him. If you do this, make sure he realzied that it was you and not him that messed things up. He trusted you and you couldn't handle it. He shouldn't have to feel like he can't tell people this in the future. No need to kill the guys spirits on top of it all. As for the whole you judging him thing, sorry to tell you this hon, but you are. Your whole post was judgemental. You called him imperfect, you claimed that you thought he might stray, and that you now think he is "gay." All of those things are very judgemental and quite selfish. You sound too immature to handle a nice guy like him. Wish I could show him this post of yours and let him see you for who you really are. God I hate this shit.

Ok first of all being open minded also means being open minded toward my insecurities. Which you are not ! And he is not !

Perceptions I believe mess up alot of things. I perceived him as being 100% straight and manly, He has a superior position in the company where I work and I was attracted by his manliness. I was truly honored to be interested by him since I have had the longest crush on him at work, when one day, he invited me out for coffee.
When we did go out , I felt like a little girl again, I had found my soul mate, he is living through the same hell I am right now in my life for the same reasons, we love the same things. When he talks about something I have the impression I am hearing myself talk. Hes into all this philosophy, inner spirituality, magic quest of the human soul. We both have these deep conversations .. and were sooooooo attracted to each other.
When he confided in me he was bisexual (he told me he isnt even sure himself that he is) it made me think.. without judging him... Am I really on that level of freakyness in my life yet ? Because I am a freak.. people perceive me as a weird person. Him too.. And I must add that I am very attracted by women myself..
This is a first time experience where a bisexual man is attracted to me.. Im not sure how to react !!
I may be his perfect match right now however I must say, I have lost that manly image I had of him .. Although he is manly.. he has these feminine ways sometimes that now that I know he is bi.. turns me a little off .. even if I am attracted to women..
Its hard to explain..

And theres the whole AIDS thing too.. how will I ever feel secure.. he did tell me he loves life and in no way would jeopardize his health .. but how will I ever be sure.. AIDS is very common in the gay world.

Maybe if I sleep with him I will have a better view of his masculinity.. Because he does love women. Its all so confusing.
But thats how i am.. when i am faced with the unknown and the unexpected I freak out... then with time i think and i become more used to the idea more i think of it.. im very adaptable to situations..

His ex wife was bisexual and very supportive, he would come home at night and tell her how he had sex with a man and she was so happy for him..
Although him having sex with a man is far less disturbing to me than if he had sex with another woman.. its still a little disturbing..

I mean all i wish is to have and regain that manly image i had of him two days ago...

just because I don't see the purpose in telling you that he is "sort of bisexual," unless he is warning you of something.

Well he was telling me how he would like to start a gay prostitution thing that wouldnt involve his own body.. and then it lead to him telling me he had sex with men...

He told me at first it was weird having sex with a man.. then he said till last summer when i had this truly beautiful and fantastic experience with a man.. he says the difference between having sex with a man is that men know exactly how to please other man and thats its only a genitalia thing, that he would never want to engage into a man to man relationship.. like EVER.

Theres another thing that makes me feel awkward. Im a tall girl, Im 6 feet, hes a little shorter and a little more small boned.. like maybe 1 inch or 2 inch shorter.. I have sometimes the feeling he likes my body because I am masculine to him.. and thats a real turn off because im so self conscious with my height and weight.. It adds to my insecurity..

[OpticalIllusion]

And I must add that I am very attracted by women myself...

HY...PO...CRITE!

[bohemiandonut]

Oh, give her a break you two!

Seriously, it's not "close-minded" or "insecure" to be hurt when your lover confides to you that they are attracted (even "20%," whatever that means) to members of the opposite sex. It's natural to want to feel 100% desired, and to be the sole interest of your mate. Skybeam, I totally feel for you.

The ironic thing is that BlackRose and OpticalIllusion are the ones who are actually insecure. They somehow felt so threatened by your post they had to resort to name-calling instead of showing some compassion.

Sky, you need to work through this awkwardness and communicate with your boyfriend. Tell him exactly how you feel. Personally I'm not quite sure of his agenda, just because I don't see the purpose in telling you that he is "sort of bisexual," unless he is warning you of something. So you have every right to be weary. But if you genuinely like him, don't be afraid and let him know what's on your mind. Maybe he just needs some gentle prodding to be able to fully commit to this relationship.

He seems like he is the one who is actually being immature here. He should be thoughtful enough to at least assure you that you are his only concern. Instead he chose to scare you by revealing his ambiguous personality. He is obviously not "perfect."

Communicate and be honest, but protect yourself. Don't let him hurt you.

Peace.

If only I could do this in real life.

[OpticalIllusion]

Oh, give her a break you two!

Seriously, it's not "close-minded" or "insecure" to be hurt when your lover confides to you that they are attracted (even "20%," whatever that means) to members of the opposite sex. It's natural to want to feel 100% desired, and to be the sole interest of your mate. Skybeam, I totally feel for you.

Just because he's 20% bi, doesn't mean that he doesn't want her 100%. I am bi, but the girl I'm with, I still desire 100%.

Personally I'm not quite sure of his agenda, just because I don't see the purpose in telling you that he is "sort of bisexual," unless he is warning you of something. So you have every right to be weary.

I told my most recent ex I was bi. It wasn't to "warn" her. It was just something I felt I could confide in her because I felt close to her. She didn't care at all. If I hadn't of told her, I would be lying by omission. Just becuse he's bi doesn't mean you should worry. At least no more than a you would worry about a straight guy wanting to bone other girls.

[bohemiandonut]

I just think it's a pointless thing to confide.

Would you tell your girlfriend, "You should know... I saw a really hot girl at the gas station today."

NO! Show some tact people! TACT!

[skybeam]

Well all went ok ! We slept twice together and it was fantastic! He really was freaking out he said he hadnt had good sex like that in a very long time!
Because like i said im little like a freak myself.
I have a good friend who would like a 3some with him.. and i will tell him today he will be exctactic.. he told me that was his ultimate fantasy of the moment..
Well we have this bond together which is awesome..
Im just so happy.. it was much greater than i expected and i actually suprised myself..
The art of letting yourself go..
It was great.. he liked to be dominated..

[bohemiandonut]

Man, you're f*cked.

A threesome?

You're f*cked. Kiss the relationship goodbye. (And take pictures!)

[indigosoul]

Man, you're f*cked.

A threesome?

You're f*cked. Kiss the relationship goodbye. (And take pictures!)

hahahahahah! Well, you gave good advice all the same BD... maybe SOMEONE out there will put it to use

hahahahahhah....

[ASHLYNN NOVA]

Im sorry but i would NEVER and i said NEVER watch my man get banged in the @$$ by some dude. Damn you homos, that shits disgusting, im sorry but theres nothing that turns me off more.... < runs to the bathroom >

[bohemiandonut]

What about seeing your man raped in the ass by hungry rhinos? And then eaten?

Wouldn't that turn you off more?