why can't i finish?

[kdjm]

hello! so i've been seeing this guy for a few months and we started sleeping together about a month ago. this is the second guy i've slept with and i have come across the same problem with both men. regardless of how good sex and foreplay feels, i just can't reach an orgasm. i always feel like im ready, but the feeling becomes too overwhelming and I have to pull away.

Does this happen to anyone else? Does anyone have a solution?

[searock]

I don't know if it's the same for all women, but for me, in order to reach orgasm with a guy I need to be VERY emotionally connected to him during sex. It's the only way I can "let go" entirely and not pull away. Maybe you haven't reached that level of emotional connection yet?

[Swesus]

Now I'm not a woman, but the what you need to do (if you haven't already). Is to stop thinking about it, just enjoy the 'ride', don't have the orgasm as a goal.

[smackie9]

You are too tense, you need to relax. Have him give you a good massage, and make you reach orgasm with oral stimulation. Also communication is key. You have to tell him to slow down, angle it differently, stop, speed up, whatever. Guys are not mind readers and don't know what's going on in your head. Maybe try different positions, or oils that give a heat sensation. And there is nothing stopping you from controlling your orgasm with you using your own fingers to stimulate yourself while he is inside you....

[Maple1714]

Sooo yeah...I have the same problem :/ I can't relax...FML...

[HeartIsAching]

It's not uncommon with women. Try having him get you off orally first.

[Angellic]

It's a common problem. You need to learn how to orgasm on your own and then, when you know what feels good and what will get you off, you can give good feedback to your partner. Sounds like you are almost there, but you tense up and don't "let go" at the final hurdle. Have you tried using a vibrator? They are usually foolproof. Hopefully, once your body becomes accustomed to achieving orgasm, it will be a lot easier to reach it during sex. Spend lots of time masturbating - always time well spent. And be patient! The more you go chasing the elusive orgasm, the less likely it will occur. Relax, stop stressing, and it will happen eventually.

[TheCafeTerrace]

...what you need to do (if you haven't already). Is to stop thinking about it, just enjoy the 'ride', don't have the orgasm as a goal.

Exactly, maybe look into some tantra.

[fluffball]

Don't get hung up on the orgasm. There's lots of fun to be had long before that happens. Enjoy yourself and take your time together. It will happen when you stop chasing it. Also, it's difficult if you're very turned on to not think "will it happen tonight" but try not to. The more you want it the more tense you will bcomes. It's not the end of the world and practising is fun !

[chuck_norris]

It's a common problem. You need to learn how to orgasm on your own and then, when you know what feels good and what will get you off, you can give good feedback to your partner. Sounds like you are almost there, but you tense up and don't "let go" at the final hurdle. Have you tried using a vibrator? They are usually foolproof. Hopefully, once your body becomes accustomed to achieving orgasm, it will be a lot easier to reach it during sex. Spend lots of time masturbating - always time well spent. And be patient! The more you go chasing the elusive orgasm, the less likely it will occur. Relax, stop stressing, and it will happen eventually.

Agree, let him watch what you are doing and then help him afterwords

[Gaylord Focker]

hello! so i've been seeing this guy for a few months and we started sleeping together about a month ago. this is the second guy i've slept with and i have come across the same problem with both men. regardless of how good sex and foreplay feels, i just can't reach an orgasm. i always feel like im ready, but the feeling becomes too overwhelming and I have to pull away.

Does this happen to anyone else? Does anyone have a solution?

You need to talk about this with your companion and tell him to please be patient.