Increased chatter from ex

[herexboyfriend]

My ex girl and I have been apart for a couple of years. We both have tried NC, only for it to be broken each time. I was the dumpee, and took it very hard. Said things I shouldn't have, was needy, basically all the things you shouldn't do, I did. Through it all, she has been there, which is probably why I'm still smitten for her. We had a good relationship, very intimate, very close. I have made it no secret what my feelings are for her and they still hold. The breakup was amicable as circumstances beyond our control was the reason.. She currently does not live close to me, so I haven't seen her in quite some time. She is the type of ex I would love to date again.

She recently acquired a new boyfriend. I have her on Facebook, and only noticed when her status changed. I have spoken to her since and she doesn't mention him at all. I have not asked her about it and don't plan to. However, she has become a bit more chatty toward me lately. We have kept the lines of communication open, but haven't spoken at length very often until recently. This is probably her being happy, but why me? Why now? It irritates me because there's nothing I can do about it, so I just roll with it. As for myself, I haven't had a serious relationship since her. I've dated around, but lost interest as other potentials have made dating harder than it should.

Mutual friends of both of us found some potential 'red flags' from the new guy. In short, we fear that she is a rebound for the new guy, but dare not say anything to her about it. the flags are obvious; either she's oblivious to it, or she just doesn't care. I just hope she knows what she's doing.

I guess what I'm asking is, why the recent increase in chatter? She has a new boyfriend, I should be yesterday's news, right? Is she trying to get a reaction from me? She's not the type to play games, but something's up. Staying friends is a good way to get an ex back, so I can't just let a total of eight years (two serious) go like that.

[haxan]

Well, you and your mutual friends sitting around refereeing her life isn't going to make any difference. Ex's are ex's for a reason, usually good ones. Another guy is balls deep in her right now, get over it.

[searock]

You should stop thinking about her altogether. Go no contact, it will help you do that.

[basilandthyme]

Because you've spent time not visibly pining after her, I think it's entirely possible that you've moved from being the 'ex' into the 'friendzone'. She's now stopped worrying about you wanting to get her back and is now more comfortable treating you as a friend.

As for the new guy, that's entirely her business. These mutual friends have no business talking about her behind her back.