Have I lost my girlfriend? (a bit to read)

[diradara]

Hi there everyone! So I am new to this, and have never done anything like it! I just cant stop thinking about my girlfriend and what might happen. So I will tell you our story and then what happened. Maybe some of you could know what and why things are as they are.

I am 23 years old, and have never had any girl problems in my life. I have 20-30 of girl friends whom I keep in touch with and so on. And I have a girlfriend which I now have had for a year or so.

Our story starts about 3 years ago, I was 20, she was 16. She started to work at the same place as me, because of her big brother who is just as old as me. So I was nice to her, and we became friends. After a year or so, she was always seemed to by hitting on me at parties, texting and so on. But I could not do it, she was a little bit younger and her brother was my friend. Then last year around Christmas time I had just turned 22, and she had just turned 18. I saw her at a party, and woow she was pretty. I got a bit drunk and started hitting on her. At the end of the night, we fooled around. But I maybe for the first time in my life, fell in love with her. We started dating, and a month after maybe we were together. We met all of the time, we texted every day all the time when we didn't meet. Every second together was just magical. No fighting, only laughter and a lot of attraction. For the summer she practically moved in with me. Anyways this Saturday three weeks ago, it was her 19 birthday. The week before that, she went away with her family out of town. She texted me everyday, and even wrote that right now she had the best time in her life, and she loved me so much, she could never have dreamed of this happening, but now her dream had came true. When her birthday came, she said it was the best birthday ever because, she had me. her first love and so on. Everything seemed to be wonderful.

Then Wednesday came, and we had our first BIG fight! We fought for about two hours. Our fight was about, one boy I had seen lately always talking to her, and I heard her friends telling me, that he was into her. So I told her that I trusted her very much, and never thought that she would cheat on me. But I did not like that another guy has started hitting on her, and talking so much with her. She said, that I never had to worry because and that he was just a nice guy, and they were at the same age so they talked a lot about their friends and so on. Even so, I told her, I did not like him hitting at her and asked her if she got draw a line so that he didn't do that anymore, because even though I trust her, I dont like him doing that. She got more and more angry, and said what I am saying now, just made it seem that I did not trust her. After the fight, we made up! And she told me there is nothing to worry about, and that we were just fine.

Thursday came: everything was normal! Friday came: Things were better! Saturday came: She went out with her friends, and when I picked her up at night, she said she didn't get to have much fun because everyone got so drunk that she just had to watch over them. She called me to pick her up, then she stood their with the guy that had been hitting on her. But I didn't even mention it, because she had reassured me when we have had our fight. We went home together, and everything seemed to be great.

Sunday came, she went on a family dinner and I didn't her from her the whole day, until I called her to say good night! This was the first time since we got together.
Monday came, I met her at the gym, and she didn't want to kiss me because she said she had bad breath (the first time she said this as well) still no message from her until i called her at night
Tuesday came, I didn't want to send anything before she did. So she did call me at night.
Wednesday, we were supposed to go out and eat dinner, when I picked her up. She said i should come in. She walked into the bathroom and started crying and crying, and I asked her what was wrong. She said us, and she had been crying since sunday, because she thinks she has lost her feelings for me. I asked her is she wanted to break up with me, she didn't say anything, so I told her, If she doesn't have feelings for me, then I will break up with her, because I cannot be together with someone that doesn't feel the same. She didn't say anything, she just cried. So I gave her a hug and left.
The next day she called me at night, and asked me to come by her house. I went and she jumped on me started to kiss me, and everything seemed to be okay. Then she said if we could take a break, because she didn't know what it was. I said if that is what she wants, of course I would give it to her. She said even though it was a break she would still love to talk to me and see me. I said that was fine, but if she needs her time, I didn't think that was the best idea. Anyways, We didn't talk for two days, then I went out the day after, so did she. And the first thing she did was send me a message if I could come to the place where she was, with her friends. I said of course, I went there we had a lot of fun, she sat on my lap kissing me and so on. She didn't want us to sleep together because we had a break. I said okay! Then a friend of hers called a car for them to be picked up, and guess who picked them up? The guy that had been hitting on her, I got mad and told her I could walk her home, she said she didn't want to walk, so she went in his car with him.

A week passed, and it seems I am the only one working for this relationship, i tell her I love her and miss her! And she texts me a hearth back. Today was the first time I saw, her since that day, and she barely spoke to me, just said she needed the time off. She still never texts me. And I miss her, and have told her that I love her and just dont know what more to do!

For me this break is destroying our relationship! I tell her every night that I love her and miss her! Some times she says she loves me, but never that she misses me.
Lately it seems that I have fallen more in love and she has lost interest in us. And I am terrified of losing what we had a couple of weeks ago.

What are your thoughts?
What can I do?

[Evo1114]

It sounds like she wants to see what this other guy has to offer, but wants to keep you around just in case it doesn't work out with him. If she cared, she wouldn't hang out with this guy so much after you told her your concerns. I'd say move on. Most likely she has no idea what she wants, which is why she is so wishy-washy. A 'break' usually means she wants to see who else is out there, which is what it sounds like she is doing.

[basilandthyme]

Sorry to say, but she's lost interest. The reason she wants a 'break' is to keep you on the backburner incase nothing better comes along.

Please don't accept this 'break'. Instead, tell her that you will only accept all or nothing.

[diradara]

Thanks for your replies!
I just never imagined it. From being so great a month ago, then two weeks later nothing!
But I agree, I never wanted to accept this break, it never seemed as the right thing to do!

[basilandthyme]

Breaks are never good for the breakee. There's absolutely no benefit for you in accepting it.

I gotta be honest though, as you have many female friends, I find it very hypocritical of you to speak to her about having this male friend. It's quite possible that your hypocracy may have turned her right off you. Sometimes, we can see an unpleasant trait in others which can turn us off like a lightswitch.

[diradara]

Well gotta go for all or nothing in this situation I think!

No really, that was never our problem. She also has a lot of guy friends. And she also complained about some of mine friends but I always reassured her, and I really cut down the talking with most of them on texts and so on.
It's just for me, there is a line that cannot be crossed, and that is always texting her, and wanting to drive her home and so on. I dont like that.. I could be wrong but.. That's just where the line goes for me