I Think Im getting Used by Him

[Kasidy]

ANOTHER DUMB GIRL MISTAKE

Hello, so where do I start. I am in school to become a pharmacist. One day I was in the Library in my scrubs when this sexy man in his scrubs walks in we gave each other eye contact and smiles the entire time. We never spoke. I kept seeing him around campus, but only smiles. Finally we spoke an exchanged numbers. Now here is where the red flags started surfacing (stupid me should have noticed). We began talking and texting and he was like "you look so sexy outside of your scrubs, I kept having very dirty thoughts about you". I laughed it off and didnt think much about it. We started to flirt more, I was so attracted to him. We met up at his house finally, he cooked me an amazing dinner and we talked about life and school (he is 42, im 27). We kissed and things got heated, eventually, we made love (I know, stupid me). It was amazing. Later that week I left school late only to find him flirting with another girl, and she got close. I try to talk to him about and he brushed it off claiming I was starting drama and he does not like drama. I was so pissed, anyways I brushed it off. We kept seeing each other but mostly sex. Recently, I was over his house hanging out having dinner, he said his friend (this girl) was coming over. She came over, she was pretty cool, but I am very shy so I kept drinking to open up. Things got pretty wild and the next thing I know we were all kissing and touching each other. Apparently the girl was BI and she was very attracted to me, so I was like what the heck. He was enjoying it. Later it turned into a "sort of" 3some. When I was ready to actually have sex with this guy, the girl left and it was just the too of us, drunk, wild and having amazing sex. The next day we hooked up again. The problems I face with this guy is:
1. No date, lots of good sex
2. Sometimes he doesn't answer my calls, or text, or return text messages with one word/2 words (he is working on his masters in physician assistant and claims he is very busy)
3. His friend (that girl) kept telling him how much I like him but he acts all shy and stupid
4. No talk about a possible relationship (I mean I kinda threw myself at him)
5. The past couple times we had sex, we used no protection (I know that was stupid) now im freaking out cause he never pulled out and it seems to not bother him.
6. I am in a bad place emotionally because I feel im getting used, I am an emotional mess. I am a shy, quiet girl who made this mistake and now I am liking this asshole alot for no good reasons.

I just dont know what to say to him or just walk away, leave this behind like it never happened.

Please share your advice, feedback (positive and negative), anything....I am open

[reeba]

I thought you had to be smart to get into pharmacy school.

[basilandthyme]

Kasidy, I don't see that he's an asshole. To me, he's just a guy who wants something different to what you want. And just to be clear, nobody can use us without our permission, so you can't blame him for that either. After all, you are old enough to know that some people just want casual sex.

Don't discuss this with him if you want to retain your dignity. Just walk away and learn from your mistakes.

[bluesummer]

Well the other way to look at this is do you really WANT a relationship? If you are enjoying the sex and maybe he's not relationship material, that's okay you know. If you want a relationship, it doesn't sound like this is the right guy, so break it off. He may even be of the mindset that you are just interested in sex yourself, and therefore sees it as no harm done.

If you intend to keep sleeping with him start using some type of protection.

[Wakeup]

First off, get yourself tested for every STD that you can be tested for and along with that get yourself a pregnancy test done. Next: Stop being a fking stupid git and quit taking chances with your emotional and sexual health. Use protection until you're in a committed, monogomous relationship and you have both been clear tested. Even after that... don't forget the birth control. Surely you're smarter than you're making yourself appear in this thread! (not said with malice... just pointing out the facts as you've laid them out to us).

This guy only wants sex and if you keep just being a sex buddy then you best learn to live without any form of contact unless its to ask him to come and do you. You don't get to be doing anything but fvcking a fvck buddy.. remember: He is very busy and does not want ANY drama. If you can't do like he does (which is screw and then forget you until next time) then get out now before he steals your joy one screw at a time.

BTW: He's not "using" you when you volunteer for this dynamic under his terms.

P.S. Quit drinking when you're in situations where you don't know the drill. You seem to just let this guy carry you along for the ride without thoughts of consequences to your own self-respect. Stop being taken along on drunken adventures with men (and women) you've not even yet learned if you can trust them with your general well being once they're finished with you.

Now.. forgive yourself and learn the lesson.

[Kasidy]

I thought you had to be smart to get into pharmacy school.

I apparently im book smart but not when it comes to relationships.....lol

[Kasidy]

Thank you guys for the hard truth, sometimes you know the answer but that little reassurance gives you that push to stop the F**king foolishness. I know im smart enough to know this, I got a little carried away but you all are very true. I am taking my dignity and walk away from this....lol
(Sorry for my english.....it is my second language)