What does the silent treatment REALLY mean?

[ohman29]

A little background on my situation can be found in the "I thought she had a heart" thread in the broken hears forum.


Basically in a nutshell, I was dating this girl for about 4 months, whom Ive been friends with for a few years. The relationship got kind of stagnant after a while, and when I addressed it and she told me because it was because of depression and she wasn't in a position to try to make someone else happy. I was fine with that and understood. She went to California for a week, where I know an ex who screwed her over was trying to get her to go, and I was having a hard time with that and texted her while she was out there about how I felt about it. I know that was a bad move and I don't blame her for being angry with me. I sent an apology text when she got back and I got no response. I sent an email explaining how I felt and how I got to the point of having to text her while in CA. (I basically cried myself to sleep that night). She responded saying we probably should refrain from talking for a while, and haven't heard from her since, other than a nasty text back when I politely asked if it was time to talk about a week after that previous email.

So what's the deal? Why would she try to run away from the situation instead of dealing with it head on? It seems that she is doing more damage than good, as I am just sitting here getting more and more angry and upset with each passing day. Does a woman's mind work that much differently than a guy's? I'm so confused.

[basilandthyme]

Ohman, I'm sorry you're going through this. Thing is though, it's not that she doesn't have a heart - it's that you were trying to hold onto something which you should have ended when this fledgling relationship got stagnant.

When she told you the reasons for the relationship being stagnant, this should have been a clue that it was time for you to end things. When someone tells you that they aren't in a position to be in a relationship - BELIEVE THEM. And walk away. Besides that, if a 4 month relationship can't keep up the momentum with all that new relationship energy flowing, it's really not worth saving anyway.

Also, just because someone cites something such as depression/busy at work/family stress/whatever as their reason for not being able to have a relationship, don't listen too much to the actual reason they give. Because the truth of the matter is that this is just another version of the breakup line "it's not you, it's me"

One other random thought:

Texts and emails have no context and it's far to easy to misunderstand meaning and create even more problems. Please don't ever use text for anything more important than "can you get milk on your way home?" Pick up the phone and call - or meet in person. This relationship was already over, so don't sweat about the messages you sent - but do learn for next time.

[searock]

When she told you she isn't in the position to make someone else happy, she meant that it was time to break up. She is trying to go no contact now, because she doesn't want to be with you anymore.

[HeartIsAching]

She isn't giving you the "silent treatment", she's gone "no contact". It's over dude.

The "Silent Treatment" is a punishment, that's not what she's doing.

[jeejee]

HIA knows his shit. He's had therapy, several times. He's also been in prison so it negates the therapy a little.

[IndiReloaded]

Prison is very therapeutic. Didn't you watch The Shawshank Redemption?

[HeartIsAching]

prison is very therapeutic. Didn't you watch the shawshank redemption?

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lol lol lol

[jeejee]

One lol would have sufficed, besides, haxans tongue is already frimly wedged in there. Form an orderly queue,

[HeartIsAching]

English boot-licker.

[jeejee]

Only a dick would capitalise "english", plus i dont get it.

[HeartIsAching]

plus i dont get it.

Duh. You're a moron, studying to be a witling.

[jeejee]

Just go answer your poll and put us all out our misery. Dont keep us in suspenders all night.

[HeartIsAching]

Done!

[jeejee]

Not really, but I admire you're new stance of toughing it out. More smileys next time.

[HeartIsAching]

New? Hardly. You're still laboring under the delusion that I give a shit what you think/say/do. Mostly I find you vaguely amusing.