He's leaving and I don't want him to!

[owleyes]

So, I've been spending time with one of the most amazing men I've ever met. We have so much in common, he's fun, easy to talk to, open, honest and damn sexy! One of the first things he said to me was he hates playing mind games; if he want to text me, he'll text me, even if society says it's too soon. I love that in him. He's so honest and I respect that.
However, he has just finished uni and is applying for jobs country wide. He said he loves spending time with me and really likes me but he doesn't want things to go on much further because he doesn't want (what could be) our relationship to influence his decision about his career. I completely understand that and absolutely agree with him, but he is the closest I've ever had to a boyfriend and we connect on a level that I've never had with someone before. I don't want this to end. He's even said if we had met last year there would be no question whether he'd be with me or not, it's just bad timing.
I'm so not the kind of girl to beg or guilt him into staying but I feel like this is something to fight for. He keeps saying he wishes I was a bitch about it all so it was easier for him. But I can't be.
I dont know what to do! Please help...

[Boisdevie]

Imagine all the hassle and heartache IF you do go out and IF you get on. And then he gets a job somewhere a gazillion miles away. Just cool things and let him decide about this career.

[owleyes]

I know! I mean, that's the whole issue. On an intellectual level I know he should just choose what's right for him (which is his career) but on an emotional level I've never wanted something so much. There is always the small possibility he'll find a great job here and he wont have to move, but I can't hold onto that glimmer of hope.

[ttylox]

Let him go - he is straight out of uni and needs to focus on his future. And you've never had a boyfriend before - at 21 years old, you should go out and experience the world yourself, as well. If it's meant to be with this dude, it'll happen later when the timing is better for you both. There's no reason you can't keep in touch with him as friends and see him when he comes back into town anyway (that is, if you can handle that emotionally).

[owleyes]

You're right. I know. It's just hard. He really wants to keep in contact and he says every time he comes back he wants to see me. I just wish it could work without such difficulties.
Thank you.

[smackie9]

If you found a wonderful guy, there is hope for you because there are many more out there. Tip: when you meet someone make sure you ask them about their future plans before investing your feelings. Dating is like a job interview, you have to put out there YOUR expectations, and talk about theirs...it if doesn't match up, move on. Don't shoot first and ask questions later.

[reeba]

I dont believe too much in the 'bad timing' or 'I wish you were a bitch, so it would be easier to leave'. It sounds too much like the 'it is not you, it is me' reason for ending a relationship.

Bascially he isn't that interested in you.

Oh, and he is concerned about his career????? Give me a break. Not unless his goal is to become a priest is that a valid excuse.

[jennj2481]

I kinda agree with Reeba even though it sounds harsh. I can see if he had a job offer and it was across country but he's only applying. It wouldn't be hard for him to apply locally if he really wanted to be with you. Sounds like he's young, just finished school and wants to be free to date and not tied to a serious relationship. It sucks but your young too. So go out and date and experience life. You never know maybe you guys will reconnect later on in life or maybe you'll meet someone better! Good luck.