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Thread: Am I being paranoid?

  1. #1
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    Am I being paranoid?

    So, I've been dating this guy for a month and half now and we has sex last week for the first time. I enjoy sex and I have been open about whenever I wanted it, I texted him about being free and meeting up the last two times and we had sex. But today he tells me he is too busy but then I find that he has been out drinking with male friends.
    Is it normal for a guy to refuse sex in preference to hanging out with male friends? He hasn't contacted me since the morning, do I take it as a sign of him losing interest? Do guys not like women taking the initiative?
    Guys, please let me know your views.

  2. #2
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    He has a life you know, why should he come running just because you click your fingers? Just because you have a pussy doesn't mean you can cntrol him.
    "Never make someone your priority, when to them you are only an option"

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    This is not about control or power. We are not even in a relationship. My question is that should I be worried about his sudden lack of interest rather drop in interest.
    Or is that how guys roll. I donot have a lot of experience with these things you know.

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    I personally would never turn down *good* sex to hang out with my girlfriends...But, things work a little differently for women in those types of situations. I have turned down *good* sex when men have called me up b/c I knew that was all they wanted. Funny thing is, men turn down sex for just the opposite reason...when they know the woman wants more than just sex! Lol. He might be scared that you want a relationship so he is backing off a bit.

    This guy could have just been honest and said he wanted to hang out with his guy friends instead. Takes people a while sometimes to figure out that being straight forward is the best way to be. Sometimes people never figure this out. You have slept together...so just ask him straight up what the deal is...who cares what he thinks...ask him. You want to know and there is no sense in wondering. Call him when you ask or talk in person....do not text. See what he has to say and then back off yourself and leave it up to him. Do you just want sex or do you have feelings for him?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Anika1 View Post
    We are not even in a relationship.
    If that's the case, then there is no reason for you to be paranoid or to even particularly care what he does when he isn't around you. But it sounds like you have developed feelings for him, and he doesn't feel the same way. Either way, he is taking you for granted. You should probably stop contacting him. Let him come to you, and then decide if you even want to pursue this non-relationship any further. The whole thing sounds pointless anyway, only slightly more than simultaneous masturbation.
    Good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from bad decisions.

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    Have you ever heard: "bros before hoes"?

    Why would this guy, who isn't your boyfriend and owes you nothing, leave a good time with his buddies to bed you? Maybe he figured he'd just as easily take a girl home from the bar that night and get laid anyhow.

    I second Vince on this one though, sounds like you've developed feelings for this dude.... and that's a much bigger issue in a F-Buddy situation than ditching you for his friends.

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    I am putting way too much thought into this, thnks for the replies. I just don't like playing games and playing hard to get. Guess i have a lot to learn.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maple1714 View Post
    I personally would never turn down *good* sex to hang out with my girlfriends...But, things work a little differently for women in those types of situations. I have turned down *good* sex when men have called me up b/c I knew that was all they wanted. Funny thing is, men turn down sex for just the opposite reason...when they know the woman wants more than just sex! Lol. He might be scared that you want a relationship so he is backing off a bit.

    This guy could have just been honest and said he wanted to hang out with his guy friends instead. Takes people a while sometimes to figure out that being straight forward is the best way to be. Sometimes people never figure this out. You have slept together...so just ask him straight up what the deal is...who cares what he thinks...ask him. You want to know and there is no sense in wondering. Call him when you ask or talk in person....do not text. See what he has to say and then back off yourself and leave it up to him. Do you just want sex or do you have feelings for him?
    You have no clue about mens' sexuality, as was to be expected. Are you male?

    Agreed OP should talk to the guy, but do so without any form of pressuring him, preferably.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by blossom View Post
    no men doesn't like sluts.they like to fight to get a woman. easy girls r boring for them.and its like there is to much of them. u r a female ,u r the one that can get pregnant u need to love yourself more and be more careful.and HIV stills in the world of today 2.
    Buahahahahahahaha you are every wrong my friend. Men LOVE sluts. For sex - which is what it is about now. Relationships are different, but as per OP's admission there isn't one.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anika1 View Post
    So, I've been dating this guy for a month and half now and we has sex last week for the first time. I enjoy sex and I have been open about whenever I wanted it, I texted him about being free and meeting up the last two times and we had sex. But today he tells me he is too busy but then I find that he has been out drinking with male friends.
    Is it normal for a guy to refuse sex in preference to hanging out with male friends? He hasn't contacted me since the morning, do I take it as a sign of him losing interest? Do guys not like women taking the initiative?
    Guys, please let me know your views.
    It IS strange for a man to refuse sex without any strings attached, I think. Which leads me to believe, sorry if this sounds harsh to you, he isn't into you sexually, or there is something else, like he isn't in love with you and has concluded you are getting needy.

    Or simply wanted to hang out with his friends and was scared to tell you lest you should get hurt about it.

    What is it you want form him? Are you clear about that? Just sex? A relationship?

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