His moving in my area this weekend!!!

[newcity2010]

Hello everyone, I have been seeing some1 since summer and his moving in my area this weekend, I need some urgent advise!!

I am in my early 30th, and I met this guy in the summer time, he is 3 years younger than me and still lives at home.
We had a lovely summer romance, evening walks by the rivers, lovely dinners, bbq, parties, weekend away, this guy seem to have an expensive taste and love the finer things in life, I was always a little worried about the amount of money he likes to spend, but he aways say to me “ but we have to have to take taxis, yeah but we can’t eat cheap fish, I know but you need to have champanage to go with fish”, I personally do not make a lots of money so I really couldn’t afford to go to all the expensive places and wouldn’t do it anyway.

2 month in to our relationship he started to complain, about money, this is expensive, that is expensive, he seems hide himself at the end of month wont see me and come back to alive at the beginning of the month, I start to release that this guy actually don’t make much money, he has a small roll in a small firm( but spend money like a high flyer) and my guess is all the money he saves on rent he used it to go out and have fun. So I had a serious chat with him about it all, tell him that he can’t not keep spending money like that, and he needs to start take responsibility on his finance, I offered to cook him dinner at home instant of going out, He just agreed with everything I said, but he doesn’t seem to be happy not to spend money, I felt like I was wasting my time with a child( id like to have my own one day very soon but not dating one), so I try to end the relationship, but he was playing hardball and insist that we are a good match and he doesn’t want to let me go, so after a long conversation he decided it time for him to move out of his parents house and start to be his own man. And he’d like my help to find a house to live, he ended up found a lovely house cost him more than his month salary ( he insists on live near me and its an expensive area )

The first half of our relationship was very romantic, we used to see each other for the whole weekend and some weekdays, I was so happy and looked forward the future, but it all seem turn sour afterward, he doesn’t seem to wants to see me at the weekends or plan anything with me anymore, instant just hide himself at home, when I try to talk to him, he just say everything is ok, so I just go out with my friends instant, like when I was single, he asks me why I spent all my weekends with friends, I reply “ because you don’t seem want to see me at the weekend”! When we do meet, we just seem to disagree on everything, he wants to buy very expensive things for his new house which he cannot afford, it really put pressure on me and makes me not feel like I am with a man who can really take care of his money.

His moving down to my area this weekend. What shall i do? I feel like it has been dragged alone for a while now, we have grown apart, I would just ended if wasn’t because he is moving down in this area. I do feel a little guilty because I kind of of lead him on by encourage him to move out of his patients house.

[Boisdevie]

You are not his mummy. If he's a waste of space that's his affair.

[Phil Davies]

27 and still living at home is a bit of a red flag to begin with. The whole big spender thing isn't a major concern thats just from not having any real financial responsibility for so long. trust me, that shit will change when he's pulling quarters out of his blowup couch to buy cigarettes.

Tough spot you're in, though. Reached one of the early relationship plateaus during a major event (moving). You should play wait and see, give him a little space and see if he responds more once he's settled.

[newcity2010]

Hey thanks

[Boisdevie]

I would spill up with him right now if wasn’t because of him moving in my area, but would moving closer really will make it work? He has signed a 6 month contract with the landlord and do I have to give this relationship another 6 month?

Id rather be single and happy than being in a relationship and unhappy.

Sod him and sod his 6 month contract. Or stay with him and enjoy an extra 6 months of self inflicted unhappiness.

[Phil Davies]

Hey thanks for all the response, he is going to be 29 soon.

I actually wanted to work it out with this guy, but it seem to me that he acts like an Indian shop keeper " no problem no problem! All good all good" and hide himself in a corner, but he will never admit it. I would spill up with him right now if wasn’t because of him moving in my area, but would moving closer really will make it work? He has signed a 6 month contract with the landlord and do I have to give this relationship another 6 month?

Id rather be single and happy than being in a relationship and unhappy.

If you're saying shit like this after a few months its probably best you walk.

[Maple1714]

Ugh forget him....move on. You can stay in touch with him if you want to, but do not be in a relationship with this guy. He is a man child who needs to do some growing up on his own. He will grow up eventually...but again he needs to figure his shit out on his own. Guys who are not responsible with their money are very unattractive. I date a guy once who would spend his last dollar on beer...and then turn to me to pay for food and concerts tickets. Lame.

[newcity2010]

If you're saying shit like this after a few months its probably best you walk.

Thanks for the response.

[Boisdevie]

Excellent. Another wonderful example of denial.

What, he checks your condoms? This just gets better and better. Just wait there. Don't move. I'm just popping out for a minute to get popcorn.

[Maple1714]

He checks your condoms? So are you in a relationship or not? What the heck?