stood up and cut off!!!!!!!

[jennj2481]

About 3 months ago i started seeing this guy. It was a purely physical relationship as neither of us wanted a relationship. Well after a month i started to develop feelings for him so i told him i needed more then a sexual relationship and i know he didnt want more so its best that we end it. He said he respected that and we parted ways. Well a month later after a drunken night i texted him n said i miss u. He responded saying he missed me too. How he wanted to contact me but thought i might be seeing someone. He said he just wanted to see me and it didnt have to be purely about sex. Well i was too happy and i saw him. We spoke for a long time and made a date for the following 2 weeks when i had a weekend off. During that 2 weeks we texted everyday, with him initiating the texts and we saw each other briefly twice and during those times we slept together. Well the week of our date hurricane sandy happened. We kept in touch the whole time and thankfully neither of us suffered any major damage. The day of our date i was prepared that he might not be up to going so i didnt mention it. He mentioned it and said he wanted to go. We kept in contact the whole day then i told him what time our movie started and he said he wanted to come by an hour and a half before we had to leave. Well im a single mom so i told him that was too early because my children would still be up and i didnt think his meeting them so soon was necessary (as we were only dating) then i said intimacy before our date wasnt possible because like i said my children were up so maybe he can come at a later time. He didnt respond yet so i preceded to get showered and ready. I noticed he didnt respond yet so i texted him again and asked what time he was going to come.. no answer. So im thinking he's busy because we are both straight foward ppl and why would he be bothered by what i said. I continue to get ready and now the time for us to leave is coming near. I call him and no answer. It takes me awhile to realize ive been stood up. We are adults and who does that. So i dont hear from him all night and i dont call or text him. The next day he doesnt call or text either. So i let the day go by and at night i text him saying 'if u decided u no longer have any interest in me then fine, but to ignore me and have me waiting on you, dressed and having paid for a sitter, is wrong. I did nothing to u to deserve that. Goodbye" he never responded n i havent texted or called him since. Im just shocked and upset. I know i should let it go but im left with so many questions and i dont know how to move past it.... on a side note we are fb friends and i make sure i post n let it be known i havent stopped living my life.

[pisces25]

What a creep. It's clear all he wants is sex and this proves it. Just keep reminding yourself of the type of person he is and try and meet some new people.

[surfhb]

About 3 months ago i started seeing this guy. It was a purely physical relationship as neither of us wanted a relationship. Well after a month i started to develop feelings for him so i told him i needed more then a sexual relationship and i know he didnt want more so its best that we end it. He said he respected that and we parted ways. Well a month later after a drunken night i texted him n said i miss u. He responded saying he missed me too. How he wanted to contact me but thought i might be seeing someone. He said he just wanted to see me and it didnt have to be purely about sex. Well i was too happy and i saw him. We spoke for a long time and made a date for the following 2 weeks when i had a weekend off. During that 2 weeks we texted everyday, with him initiating the texts and we saw each other briefly twice and during those times we slept together. Well the week of our date hurricane sandy happened. We kept in touch the whole time and thankfully neither of us suffered any major damage. The day of our date i was prepared that he might not be up to going so i didnt mention it. He mentioned it and said he wanted to go. We kept in contact the whole day then i told him what time our movie started and he said he wanted to come by an hour and a half before we had to leave. Well im a single mom so i told him that was too early because my children would still be up and i didnt think his meeting them so soon was necessary (as we were only dating) then i said intimacy before our date wasnt possible because like i said my children were up so maybe he can come at a later time. He didnt respond yet so i preceded to get showered and ready. I noticed he didnt respond yet so i texted him again and asked what time he was going to come.. no answer. So im thinking he's busy because we are both straight foward ppl and why would he be bothered by what i said. I continue to get ready and now the time for us to leave is coming near. I call him and no answer. It takes me awhile to realize ive been stood up. We are adults and who does that. So i dont hear from him all night and i dont call or text him. The next day he doesnt call or text either. So i let the day go by and at night i text him saying 'if u decided u no longer have any interest in me then fine, but to ignore me and have me waiting on you, dressed and having paid for a sitter, is wrong. I did nothing to u to deserve that. Goodbye" he never responded n i havent texted or called him since. Im just shocked and upset. I know i should let it go but im left with so many questions and i dont know how to move past it.... on a side note we are fb friends and i make sure i post n let it be known i havent stopped living my life.

You dont know how to move past it? Seriously??!!

[Maple1714]

Well that sucks, I don't know why people think they can treat others that way. What an ass. I guess he did just want sex. Sorry, what a shitty feeling. If you ever see him out in public please give him a piece of your mind...or just throw something at him lol. Kidding. I think in situations like these you just have to forget about the other person and remember that it's his loss, he is the one with weak character and you have to treat others the way you want to be treated, and that will attract the good ones! I thought I was being stood up one time, and I freaked out on the guy. Turns out he had gotten in some kind of altercation and busted his phone. He was too embarrassed to see me b/c he had 2 black eyes...and he couldn't call. He finally sent me an email and said sorry. I had thought he was ditching me for days and was very upset. I realized he was a loser anyway (fighting a lot) and had other issues so I moved on.

[Wakeup]

Well, he treated you like shit but you KNEW that he did not want a relationship with you and he just came back after you contacted him to **** you and chuck you. That does suck (and not in the good way) but surely you knew that when you "briefly had sex with him" while you waited to have your date.

You didn't listen to him and his being a complete jerk is his way to make it clear to you that you are a **** buddy, as he said and not anything more.

You developed feelings for him, you let him know, he didn't care but you still did him. Forgive yourself for not listening to him when he was truthful with you. He missed you for the sex. forget about him and learn from this so it doesn't happen to you again. There is only one excuse for anything other then you allowed yourself to be played and thats to do with his health... either he's dead or he's in a coma.

He's not worth you being angry or KEEPING HIM AS YOUR FRIEND ON FB. O.o (rephrase) Why would you want to keep him as a fb "friend?" Why would you do that after what he did to you? Where is your self-respect and common sense? He does not care that you're pretending to be just fine with being disrespected.. block and delete his ass so you can get yourself to the stage of indifference to him and your addiction to sexual roller coaster rides with him.

Well that sucks, I don't know why people think they can treat others that way. What an ass. I guess he did just want sex. Sorry, what a shitty feeling. If you ever see him out in public please give him a piece of your mind...or just throw something at him lol. Kidding. I think in situations like these you just have to forget about the other person and remember that it's his loss, he is the one with weak character and you have to treat others the way you want to be treated, and that will attract the good ones! I thought I was being stood up one time, and I freaked out on the guy. Turns out he had gotten in some kind of altercation and busted his phone. He was too embarrassed to see me b/c he had 2 black eyes...and he couldn't call. He finally sent me an email and said sorry. I had thought he was ditching me for days and was very upset. I realized he was a loser anyway (fighting a lot) and had other issues so I moved on.

So when you saw him the next time did he really have two black eyes? That story sounds as lame as "the dog ate my homework."

[Ladybuggg]

U r so anoying.and stupid to try blame it on the alcoholl.I think I wasn't drunk u did. Just what u was desparete to do. And if u told him feom the start its over then u should have move on.especially cause u barely knew him.so for u to keep forcing thing u put yourself on the abuse me plate im easy abd desperate. So next time have more self esteem.when its over its over.

[Ladybuggg]

Im sooooo agree witn @Wakeup. WHEN a men say no or anything like that or u r done with each other.dont go back. Especially with a stranger like this.u have kids so u should be smarter then this and dont even use your kids sleeping for the time he can come around. I would not even let him know where I live.. cause u dont know him. And also let the men

aprouch u chase u stop jumping on them desperate.and in general men see u as a easy target cause u r a single mom. So u have to be more carefull then this and way harder to get..cause u wasn't.u r the one that was offered your self to him all the time. Like take me please take me.
. U can better be alone then too jave losers around your kids.

[reeba]

Consider this a lesson learned. No strings attached sex rarely works. Someone usually gets emotionally involved.

So the guy was pissed that when he wanted to come over to your house earlier than planned so you could have a predate quickie - you stated that you wouldn't have sex with him in your house while your kids were awake.

What a creep. I would de-friend him on facebook. If you are old enough to have kids, you are old enough to not play games. Anyway, 10$ says he doesn't give a damn what you are doing, and (don't flatter yourself) he is not cyber stalking your facebook page. However, since you are hte one with the emotions, you will cyber stalk. De-friend him, get over him (no cyber stalking), and find someone else.

[Phil Davies]

I didn't read all these 's replies I'm sure its a mix of how much of a jerk he is vs. how naive you are. If you drunk text a dude at night, bang sporadically and carry a no strings attached approach you're basically opening yourself up for disappointment eventually because everyone knows your odds of getting attached are a little better than his. That said, this situation crosses the line of common courtesy and human decency ... you don't stand someone up, especially not a single mom who has to organize a sitter, thats pretty shitty.

Unless he has an outstanding excuse like he died then you should probably cut this dude out of your life. Anyone with that little respect for you shouldn't find his way to your bedroom. I wouldn't do that and I'm a bonafide douchebag.

[Maple1714]

Well, he treated you like shit but you KNEW that he did not want a relationship with you and he just came back after you contacted him to **** you and chuck you. That does suck (and not in the good way) but surely you knew that when you "briefly had sex with him" while you waited to have your date.

You didn't listen to him and his being a complete jerk is his way to make it clear to you that you are a **** buddy, as he said and not anything more.

You developed feelings for him, you let him know, he didn't care but you still did him. Forgive yourself for not listening to him when he was truthful with you. He missed you for the sex. forget about him and learn from this so it doesn't happen to you again. There is only one excuse for anything other then you allowed yourself to be played and thats to do with his health... either he's dead or he's in a coma.

He's not worth you being angry or KEEPING HIM AS YOUR FRIEND ON FB. O.o (rephrase) Why would you want to keep him as a fb "friend?" Why would you do that after what he did to you? Where is your self-respect and common sense? He does not care that you're pretending to be just fine with being disrespected.. block and delete his ass so you can get yourself to the stage of indifference to him and your addiction to sexual roller coaster rides with him.

So when you saw him the next time did he really have two black eyes? That story sounds as lame as "the dog ate my homework."

Yes, he really did have 2 black eyes and his tooth had gone through his lower lip...he face got pummeled The guy really was a total mess! I kissed his bruised/cut lip and ended our fling. I felt a bit sorry for him, but also wondered why I was attracted to such a loser? He never had a clear story for what actually happened in this "fight". He found his phone a week later under his friends parked car in the street....weird.

[smackie9]

Booty calls are strictly for sex, don't try to make it into something more. Ya he should have said that he couldn't do this anymore, he saw this was turning into something more on your end and didn't want the responsibility of saying it to you, so this was his way of shutting you down. The guy is a coward and panicked at the last minute.......good thing you didn't get into a relationship with this guy.

[bcgirl]

U were used for sex. You ooze desperation even in your post, so I can only imagine how much ooze you were signalling to him. Desperation is a turn off. Shame on him for seeing an opportunity to use someone vulnerable strictly for sex without giving the decency and respect to call and blow off the date. Next time, meet a nice guy, date for a bit before u put out...you wouldn't find the "wham bam thank you ma'ams"
And GET OVER IT. Delete him from your phone so the next time u get drunk you won't txt him, delete him from FB and take this as an embarrassing lesson learnt

[Maple1714]

U were used for sex. You ooze desperation even in your post, so I can only imagine how much ooze you were signalling to him. Desperation is a turn off. Shame on him for seeing an opportunity to use someone vulnerable strictly for sex without giving the decency and respect to call and blow off the date. Next time, meet a nice guy, date for a bit before u put out...you wouldn't find the "wham bam thank you ma'ams"
And GET OVER IT. Delete him from your phone so the next time u get drunk you won't txt him, delete him from FB and take this as an embarrassing lesson learnt

I don't think she sounded that desperate...sad though. OP - don't EVER be embarrassed b/c that emotion goes along with guilt and guilt has no place in our minds. HE should be embarrassed and feel guilty for standing you up. You are just a woman with feelings/emotions. We have ALL been there. The situation is what it is...sucks of course and he shouldn't have stood you up. If you ever see him in public slap him for that.

[Wakeup]

I don't think she sounded that desperate...sad though.

Actually I saw sad and desperate.

OP - don't EVER be embarrassed b/c that emotion goes along with guilt and guilt has no place in our minds. HE should be embarrassed and feel guilty for standing you up.

But you just said sje shouldn't feel embarassment.. that it has no place in our minds? She shouldn't but he should? I'm not understanding that logic.

You are just a woman with feelings/emotions. We have ALL been there.

No, not all of us have. Sorry buy placating her mistakes are'nt going to do anything to help her learn from them. "Oh, it's okay that you robbed that bank, honey, the man had too much money anyway.. don't feel guilty"

The situation is what it is...sucks of course and he shouldn't have stood you up. If you ever see him in public slap him for that.

Yes.. you can berate him for standing you up because that was rude.. (even though you still didn't get the message he was trying to send you because you still want him and you pretend to be just fine in your own facebook because you are silly enough to believe that he would even take the time to stalk you).

I'm not without empathy for your sadness, embarassment and feelings of having been discarded but you really need to understand that when a man treats you like you have no value to him then you need to get away from him as quickly as you can. Love yourself enough that you'll not beg for more booty and then hope because he took you up on it that he actually wants a relationship now. Please also learn that you are unable to keep sex casual so don't do it anymore.

^^^ None of that was said in malice to anyone ... just pointing out some denial I was seeing.

[Maple1714]

^^ You are right, I did contradict myself. I do not think anyone should feel guilt. It's a useless emotion. If you robbed a bank why would you sit and feel guilty about it after? You already did it. I agree with Robin Hood. Anyway, that's opening up a whole different discussion...

Yes, we have ALL been in the situation where we give more of ourselves than necessary, put too much emotion into someone else and then have them use us and/or take us for granted. It might be with a friend, family member or dude we are ****ing. Do you not agree? The OP shouldn't sit around and tell her self she has no self-worth, shouldn't feel embarrassed, shouldn't tell herself she is an idiot, lament on the fact that she was used etc....instead the OP should just think the guy is a ****ing douche and forget him forever. She should be proud that she feels emotion/cares for others and move on to finding someone who views life/relationships/sex the same way she does. We do ALL stumble along the way...shouldn't sit around and beat yourself up over it.