Move On or Hold On?

[Droite]

I befriended this boy I met over the internet (I don't need a lecture on online dating being dangerous, I know he is who he says he is, etc.), we'll call him "Sam". I immediately started crushing on him. I kept my crush to myself because I had never really been interested in an online relationship after an incident before (To summarize, I liked a guy for four years I met over the internet, he led me on, etc etc.). Eventually I befriended one of his good friends, who noticed I sort of seemed to have a crush on him, and eventually asked me straightforward if I had feelings for Sam. I confessed and he said that Sam had feelings for me as well. One night I took the risk, and confessed I liked him. He admittedly said he liked me too and thus, we started dating. Things were going well, unfortunately I didn't always have the time to spare when my parents constantly walked in during our video calls, and I didn't want them knowing about my relationship (they're 100% against online dating) and things started getting rocky. Now, I have a lot of insecurities, most of them brought on by anxiety, but I'm very fearful that once I get really close to the one I'm dating, they'll just up and leave me. A lot of that got in the way, and I wasn't as affectionate to him as I should've been. I broke things off in confusion, and he seemed extremely hurt. Eventually I came to terms with things and we got back together. Now, I was about to start college, and once again, fear got the best of me, and I worried that I would have no time for him during college, so I gave him an excuse that I wanted to meet other people (which in all was the WORST idea and excuse I have ever come up with). We broke it off, once again. During college, all I could think about was how much I had missed him, and I just decided that I needed to make up my mind whether I really want to be with him or not. So I decided to wait a bit to tell him one last time (I figured he wouldn't forgive me, but I figured i'd try anyhow).

I wanted to tell him a week before I actually did, but I was scared. Well, I told him, and I found out that he is currently dating an old flame that he had recently started being friends with again. I've been so regretful for the past few months, and depressive. I adore this boy, and I don't know what to do. I'm friends with him still, and even his girlfriend, we're in several tiny chat groups and such together, at first I tried to move on by dating other guys but I still constantly thought of him. It hurts now to see them together being all lovey dovey together and still have these strong feelings lingering for him. I don't know what to do, I fear that they'll never be over :/. I'm not sure whether to really move on, or to hold on and wait for them to split. Any ideas?

[Boisdevie]

Sweet jesus. A video call to some guy is not 'dating'. When you are dating you get to spend time with the person in what we call 'the real world'. Sounds like you are too anxious to date in 'the real world'. I think you are young and you need to grow up.

[searock]

Newsflash: during this whole time, you never dated anyone. You need to spend physical time together with someone, in order to be dating them. What you had (have) is an unhealthy emotional attachment to the idea of a person you've never met.

[Droite]

Actually, we met after a month of talking to each other (as friends). I've made constant visits to him, and he did the same. So don't say LOL YOU NEVER HAD A REAL RELATIONSHIP YOU NEVER MET LOL when we actually DID. Telling me to grow up is just immature because I've met him in real life before I actually considered dating him.

[ttylox]

Ahhh I call BS - if you had really made "constant visits to him" then why would your parents be mad about you making a video call to him?

You're in college now, quit worrying about this dude and go enjoy your life outside of the computer screen. Join some groups and socialize with your peers... maybe you'll find someone you like that you can actually touch, and see and smell. And maybe socializing yourself will help with your anxiety problems as well.

[searock]

Ahhh I call BS - if you had really made "constant visits to him" then why would your parents be mad about you making a video call to him?

^This. OP, you are the one who used the term "online dating" (="not real dating")!