Sex on 3rd date?

[Wakeup]

Thanks for your advice.
He has sent me a message "Hi" on facebook when he saw me logged in. We had a bit of Chatting and i asked him how his trip was. Then i told him that he looked cute with his Glasses,

This was an indication that he still wanted to have SOMETHING to do with you which is a positive but certainly too early to tell how far that SOMETHING would be taken.

and i asked what his intention was, plus i was being direct about if he's just after sex, i'm not that Kind.

This is something i would have waited to discuss next time I was together with him in person.

Is that okay?

Well, it's water under the bridge now so learn from it for next time you're dating if this doesn't go anywhere.

I saw him logged off when he saw that, so i'm feeling a bit negative.

Well, I'd imagine that he didn't know what to tell you but he could have just said that he was taken aback if that was the case. He could be stalling in order to keep the door open to you..

Also, i saw him adding some new girls to his facebook which must be new friends from my country, one of them looks pretty cute...

At this point he doesn't owe you anything and he's likely still playing the field. This is why I suggest if you're going to have sex with a guy early in, before he's shown you that he values you as a person and a possible romantic, exclusive partner, then you ask for exclusivity. If he wants to screw you along with others or while he still hunts and won't go exclusive then you have a good indication that you'll be one of many.

Does it mean that he had done and he is moving on to something New now?

See above
but only he can tell you either in words or actions the actual answer to that question.

I'm really upset if he's like that. But i forgot to tell that i met him from a Dating site,

It was obvious where you met him. There is a story like yours very often on advice forums.

and in there he had claimed quite a bit of his sexual needs, which seems to be quite a lot...

O.O

It will be Hurt to me...really... If he only looked for sex...

Dear... if having sex with only someone who wants to be your boyfriend is sooooo important to you then I suggest you don't have sex with any man from a dating site (or anywhere for that matter) until he's shown you in actions that he is willing to close his profile, be only with you until you discover if you are meant to be longterm partners... otherwise, this same thing will likely to happen to you quite often.
By "this" I mean this angst ridden state you've found yourself in due to the possibility that you're some guys one of many.

He still not replies so my fingers are crossing.

Even if he does call you or he sets up another meet, I suggest you don't be considering you're the only one just because he's still seeing you. If you don't want to be one of many, then when you see him again... be sure to ask him for sexual exclusivity.. if he hedges or says no outright, well then you know where you stand for certain.

Let us know how it goes. *crosses fingers*

[Hth]

Wait until tomorrow. If he doesn't contact you, call him in the early afternoon and tell him what I said in my previous post. Maybe he was just scared off by your indirect accusation of him using you for sex, but it's not too late to make it right. Just keep your calm and it will be fine!

I really like this guy, but i'm not going to contact him first now as your advice, it's way too much for me if i must call him, i don't want to come across as he's the only man in this World and i must try to hold on him while he has not shown that to me, i believe that i have values and if he wants to quit that easy, he's not worth it anyway... I will wait and see how he will act. if after 5 days-1week n he says nothing, i will remove him from facebook and delete his number... move on. I suppose if a guy likes a girl, he won't give up so easy...

[Hth]

This was an indication that he still wanted to have SOMETHING to do with you which is a positive but certainly too early to tell how far that SOMETHING would be taken.

This is something i would have waited to discuss next time I was together with him in person.

Well, it's water under the bridge now so learn from it for next time you're dating if this doesn't go anywhere.

Well, I'd imagine that he didn't know what to tell you but he could have just said that he was taken aback if that was the case. He could be stalling in order to keep the door open to you.. At this point he doesn't owe you anything and he's likely still playing the field. This is why I suggest if you're going to have sex with a guy early in, before he's shown you that he values you as a person and a possible romantic, exclusive partner, then you ask for exclusivity. If he wants to screw you along with others or while he still hunts and won't go exclusive then you have a good indication that you'll be one of many.

See above
but only he can tell you either in words or actions the actual answer to that question.

It was obvious where you met him. There is a story like yours very often on advice forums.

O.O

Dear... if having sex with only someone who wants to be your boyfriend is sooooo important to you then I suggest you don't have sex with any man from a dating site (or anywhere for that matter) until he's shown you in actions that he is willing to close his profile, be only with you until you discover if you are meant to be longterm partners... otherwise, this same thing will likely to happen to you quite often.
By "this" I mean this angst ridden state you've found yourself in due to the possibility that you're some guys one of many.
Even if he does call you or he sets up another meet, I suggest you don't be considering you're the only one just because he's still seeing you. If you don't want to be one of many, then when you see him again... be sure to ask him for sexual exclusivity.. if he hedges or says no outright, well then you know where you stand for certain.

Let us know how it goes. *crosses fingers*

Thanks. I saw him online on fb last night again, and he saw my message around 3 hours before that already. I felt as if he logged in to see what i was doing in there, not sure... or maybe i hoped so . But certainly, he did not reply to what i wrote, and i ignored him.

I suppose the message i sent could be hard to handle, and i want to give it maximum a week so let the awkwardness settle down and see what he will act, if he does nothing by then, it's so clear for me to move on already, right?

I have learnt this lesson... Although i was preparing for the Worst, i hope he is not that bad guy . Be shown me the card of where he worked and what he is doing there... Oh well, can't shed the sad feelings anyway

[Wakeup]

Frankly... I'd not contact him again. Let him contact you and when/if he does, don't expect a relationship from him. I think he'll try to keep you and a few others around for booty and not much more. He's sounding more and more like an online player. Tell him that you understand it's too soon to be expecting him to have feelings for you but you'd like to see where things go as you enjoy his company but you need to be sexually exclusive now that you've been intimate and if he can't give you that then it's best you don't see one another again. Then shut up and let him talk. LISTEN to what he is saying and don't hear only the things you want to hear. If he says something like "I'm not wanting (or ready) to be in a relationship YET then take that to mean he's not going to be in one with you anytime soon and that he's not wanting to be sexually exclusive either.

Don't contact him again. He'll probably come back again and talk to you when this business about you asking him what his intentions are has blown over and you're anxious enough to see him again anyway, even without clarity. Don't let your regret for doing him make you miss red flags behaviour.

[Hth]

Frankly... I'd not contact him again. Let him contact you and when/if he does, don't expect a relationship from him. I think he'll try to keep you and a few others around for booty and not much more. He's sounding more and more like an online player. Tell him that you understand it's too soon to be expecting him to have feelings for you but you'd like to see where things go as you enjoy his company but you need to be sexually exclusive now that you've been intimate and if he can't give you that then it's best you don't see one another again. Then shut up and let him talk. LISTEN to what he is saying and don't hear only the things you want to hear. If he says something like "I'm not wanting (or ready) to be in a relationship YET then take that to mean he's not going to be in one with you anytime soon and that he's not wanting to be sexually exclusive either.

Don't contact him again. He'll probably come back again and talk to you when this business about you asking him what his intentions are has blown over and you're anxious enough to see him again anyway, even without clarity. Don't let your regret for doing him make you miss red flags behaviour.

Today, i still feel heavy about it,but i know time will help.

And thanks again for your input, i was thinking the same as you, i don't want to contact him. I will just keep quiet and see how this guy turns out to be, i will keep updated... But, i just can't get why must he show the address of where he works and add me to his facebook if he was a player, because we have real life friends on facebook normally. I had met some guys online who told directly to me that they only want sex with no string attached, and they will never give out their facebook or social networks. It's just shit to say but is it true that Guys get online to look for Sex not Love? At least the Straight ones are the one that should be more respectable...

More opinions from Guys pls. Thanks.

[Hth]

Ok by Testing, i found out this guy Blocked my chat on facebook, mean i can not see him online on facebook but actually he is On there...

Why doesn't he just Remove Me then, easier isn't it? Can't understand what's going on...

[searock]

At least the Straight ones are the one that should be more respectable...

Huh?!...........

[Wakeup]

Ok by Testing, i found out this guy Blocked my chat on facebook, mean i can not see him online on facebook but actually he is On there...

Why doesn't he just Remove Me then, easier isn't it? Can't understand what's going on...

Do you not have this man's telephone number? If not, please tell me why you would go to bed with him without even having a telephone number?

I had met some guys online who told directly to me that they only want sex with no string attached, and they will never give out their facebook or social networks.

Those are likely the married ones or the one's who are living with or already in a relationship with someone. Thank your lucky stars they told you outright what their motive was.

[smackie9]

You just need to be a confident woman...you had sex because it felt right. You are an adult, you can make that choice. Guys find it sexy for a woman to be sexually confident. Take control over the situation take him out for the next date. Then take him to your home and show him who's boss.

[Wakeup]

You just need to be a confident woman...you had sex because it felt right. You are an adult, you can make that choice. Guys find it sexy for a woman to be sexually confident. Take control over the situation take him out for the next date. Then take him to your home and show him who's boss.

Yea, but fer chrisssakes don't expect to get a relationship out of your enjoyment.

[smackie9]

Can't expect to know if it will turn into a relationship....at least have fun at it.

[Wakeup]

Exactly! Problem is, she along with a whole host of other women expect that sex WILL lead to a relationship. Worse yet, they think that it should.

[Love'sReject]

Is she hot?

[smackie9]

Exactly! Problem is, she along with a whole host of other women expect that sex WILL lead to a relationship. Worse yet, they think that it should.

That is learned in time.

[Maple1714]

Exactly! Problem is, she along with a whole host of other women expect that sex WILL lead to a relationship. Worse yet, they think that it should.

Why do you think it shouldn't? I am not being facetious, wondering why sex shouldn't lead to a relationship?