Is it unhealthy to be attracted to clingy and low self-esteem girls?

[Bencarr95]

I have noticed that I can be very over attached, and would like my girl to be as well. Reassuring that we're always there for each other, and keeping no secrets. Is this bad. Should I seek more casual relationships?

[BackUpOrGetStng]

You sound codependent and you want someone who is also. No it's not healthy.

[bcgirl]

So you are very sensitive. So what? This is a good trait and hopefully you will find a good girl that appreciates you and feels the same. Who says you need to go out and have one night stands...that is more unheathy!

[ttylox]

Anytime you use "over" as an adjective, it's usually not a good thing. "Over attached" or "overly sensitive" - you should seek moderation for yourself and find a partner that you'll feel healthy with. Look for someone who compliments you, not for someone who completes you. The fact that you're seeking advice about this is a sure sign that you already know it's a problem.

[reeba]

No it is not healthy.

Two wrongs don't make a right. And two disfunctional people do not make a functional couple.

[Bencarr95]

Well I just put all my goals on love. Don't care much for anything else, so that's why I get so attached. Because it is basically the only thing I want out of life.

[Bencarr95]

So you are very sensitive. So what? This is a good trait and hopefully you will find a good girl that appreciates you and feels the same. Who says you need to go out and have one night stands...that is more unheathy!

That's exactly how I see it.

[ttylox]

Well I just put all my goals on love. Don't care much for anything else, so that's why I get so attached. Because it is basically the only thing I want out of life.

If LOVE is all you want out of life, you should work on making it healthy, functional love... because that is the only kind that will last. And, in the words of RuPaul, "If you can't love yourself, how the hell are you gonna love somebody else?!" - You cannot be a loving partner in a lasting, meaningful relationship without having your own stuff together first. Work on YOU so that you can have better love. Don't just get all clingy and attached to everyone - all that says about you is that you're probably not ready yet.

[bcgirl]

I hope u want more out of life than just a lover. What about your own family? What about who u are? Your pets? Etc. I think the way you are phrasing yourself is a bit misleading. I'm sure you want other things in life than just a loving relationship. But I think most ppl do eventually want a life partner to share their memories, build a family, pro create and raise children, give lots of love and receive equally lots of love, and grow old with.... This is totally normal for humans to crave this. Eventually one night stands and casual flings get tiring and old, eventually everyone wants to find love or else forums like this wouldn't exist. You would make a girl very happy one day because if I think what u mean... U r a real catch and a romantic. I too think when u r in a mutual loving relationship, it is very bitter sweet feeling. To know u r in love and to have someone love u like u are very special. It does give more of a purpose in life.

[Love'sReject]

Good for you, OP. You know what you want and hell, in theory it seems to be a nice, loving relationship. Sure beats a kind of relationship with a cold, distant girl. If you can attain it, all the more power to you!

[Bencarr95]

Thanks. Makes me feel a bit better about myself. And what I mean is I see life pointless without a true lover. That's my real goal. What I think about when I do anything. I want a career to support her and my family that I also want, but I need a lover for that. I want to look good to make her happy and increase my chances of finding her. That's really what I'm looking for in life. It's relieving to know that people understand this. I want someone who would put me above everything else, as I would (and have for possibly The wrong person) for them.

[surfhb]

Thanks. Makes me feel a bit better about myself. And what I mean is I see life pointless without a true lover. That's my real goal. What I think about when I do anything. I want a career to support her and my family that I also want, but I need a lover for that. I want to look good to make her happy and increase my chances of finding her. That's really what I'm looking for in life. It's relieving to know that people understand this. I want someone who would put me above everything else, as I would (and have for possibly The wrong person) for them.

Dont want to sound like a party pooper but its clear youve never been in a long term relationship and are young. I mean its a good goal and all and I understand where youre coming from but being a needy individual wanting another another just so you can be assure your compatible is a disaster. Life is not a bowl of cherries and maintaining a good relationship is the hardest job you will ever have. Throw in kids and a marriage and...well you get the idea. Putting all your goals on love?! What the fvck does that mean? How old are you?

[Bencarr95]

Dont want to sound like a party pooper but its clear youve never been in a long term relationship and are young. I mean its a good goal and all and I understand where youre coming from but being a needy individual wanting another another just so you can be assure your compatible is a disaster. Life is not a bowl of cherries and maintaining a good relationship is the hardest job you will ever have. Throw in kids and a marriage and...well you get the idea. Putting all your goals on love?! What the fvck does that mean? How old are you?

Haha, I'm only 16. I guess I do sound immature, but right now, that's how I feel. Never have been good at keeping anything in moderation. I know how hard relationships can be, but in the past, the reassurance, and always talking to them is what made things less stressful. Of course I will have a life outside of the relationship, but my main desire in life is love. I will do other things, and have other hopes, but that's what matters most to me. That's what I was trying to get across.

[bcgirl]

You are still young. You will have your heart broken, get into crappy relationships etc. but hopefully u will find a nice girl to share your life with. Most marriages fail now a days, but try to keep that positive attitude you have. Many here are tainted from bad relationships and failed marriages. Life is crazy and can change drastically at any given time, but be you and don't try to change yourself or someone else. My husband is a true romantic at heart. When he was a kid he was picked on for being too romantic. Giving a girl he has a crush on gifts and poetry and flowers. He is now an adult and he hasn't changed. He is still that sensitive romantic. He appreciates and loves me and shows me his true colors instead of try to be something else or try to act macho around his buddies. I appreciate this quality about him because I am a romantic at heart too. He is my best friend and I am his. Sure, we have our moments but who doesn't? In the end we conquer the world together...or at least we think we do in our own little world.

[surfhb]

Haha, I'm only 16. I guess I do sound immature, but right now, that's how I feel. Never have been good at keeping anything in moderation. I know how hard relationships can be, but in the past, the reassurance, and always talking to them is what made things less stressful. Of course I will have a life outside of the relationship, but my main desire in life is love. I will do other things, and have other hopes, but that's what matters most to me. That's what I was trying to get across.

Enough said....just keep up the good attitude and relax.