married man BAGGAGE

[marblelove]

Hello, forgive me for my broken English - not my native language.

I met this man via online game; we had been messaging day and night for about 7 months until he took a flight to see me. Things were great, brought him around to places BUT we did not go further than that. I have always maintained that due to circumstances like, he's pretty much still a stranger to me.

Anyway, after he got back to his state (about several weeks), his wife text me to leave their marriage alone. Honestly, I really did not expect him to lie to me! Well, obviously he kept calling and explaining that they are going through a divorce but his wife isn't willing to co-operate during the process. He needs my support and to be there for him, as well as apologizing for not being truthful in the first place.

This is how he narrated the story:

They got married for 6 years, and it wasn't a happy one because he wasn't financially stable. There were endless of fights and arguments until the extend where his wife left him for 5 years (she went back to her parents' house) well of course she does come back once in awhile to get her belongings as they share the same house. And one night, the wife came back and ran through his phone - saw my messages and then she went bezerk. The funny thing is, she wants him back. However, after numerous trials, he still cannot forgive her. She had been mean to him, looked down on him and once, she even kicked him out of the house just cause he could not get a job with a good pay. And now that he has moved on, found a better offer and then met me; she wants to work out their marriage!

He convinced me that it's all truth as he will let me see their divorce certificate (should be done by December) and he'll move out asap. All he wants is, me to morally support him, give him some time to work out the divorce (money, legals etc), and then expects me to fly to his state to start a new life.

Should I still be messaging him? And I don't know why I always have this soft spot for his wife..through her messages, she seemed so.. sad. I don't know what to do. Thanks for reading!!

[dragon-fly]

It sounds remarkably suspect! I had a relationship with a married man and it always comes with baggage, but if you love him, I would maybe try to avoid them whilst the divorce goes through, because otherwise his wife will always blame you - even if it's not your fault. Could you apologise to the wife and try and find out her side of the story at least then you will have a balanced view. Do you want to fly to his state to start a new life? With someone you don't really know - how much input into the decision about starting a new life together have you given/had?

[Wakeup]

He needs my support and to be there for him, as well as apologizing for not being truthful in the first place.

He fvking lied to you and led you to believe that he was single. Is that not enough of a red flag to you? Surely there are men where you live that don't lie, don't have a wife in the wings, don't have to aplogize for lying and having a wife (which you trivialize by calling her "baggage"). Surely you're not that lacking in self-respect and options that you just forget that he's been stringing you along for the last 7 months.

If you're naive and desperate enough to accept his bs then I suggest you tell him to leave you the hell alone until he can fax/email you over a copy of his divorce decree. At least then you'll know he's telling you the truth that he's divorced.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Surely you're not that lacking in self-respect and options that you just forget that he's been stringing you along for the last 7 months.

She met the guy while playing World of Warcraft. Any "self-respect and options", along with hygiene and overall worth to society, are long gone...have been for years most likely.

[Wakeup]

She met the guy while playing World of Warcraft. Any "self-respect and options", along with hygiene and overall worth to society, are long gone...have been for years most likely.

Good point. However: Call me a wishful thinker in that regard thereby helping to point out to her what she clearly is unable to see for herself about HIM.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

What do you not understand about "long gone"? Unless she goes to a World of Warcraft rehab(and yes there are several that actually exist), none of these things will return. Even with the rehab its a long shot.

[Wakeup]

Who cares if she's addicted to WoW? This is the issue:

Should I still be messaging him?

Short answer (without all the filler) NO You shouldn't be still messaging him. He's a lying bastige!

[BackUpOrGetStng]

I think she should message him. WoW for life!

[smackie9]

Should I still be messaging him?

Hell no! The guys lied to you, and is cheating on his wife. I wouldn't believe what he has said as far as I can throw him. Anyways, you just tell him to stay away because this will be too much trouble for you. Have some self worth, ditch this guy and find a man that is true, honest, and doesn't have a bloody wife.

[smackie9]

I think she should message him. WoW for life!

hey hey hey I play WOW, it's not what you think lol.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

What do you consider it to be? I think it is mainly a bunch of 40-somethings, pickling themselves in their own funk, with hair so greasy that it creates large, feta cheese-like clumps, out of the dandruff. That was my experience of WOW players.

[marblelove]

Lol I didn't meet him from WoW. But anyway, I think I'll just cut him off - regardless of how hard he is trying his best to convince me. Sigh, I know it sounds stupid right to have some sort of emotional attachment with some "online" dude.

Thank you all!

[marblelove]

what do you consider it to be? I think it is mainly a bunch of 40-somethings, pickling themselves in their own funk, with hair so greasy that it creates large, feta cheese-like clumps, out of the dandruff. That was my experience of wow players.

that made me laughed! God

[bebaba]

Get out while you can.

[smackie9]