Talking about the past..frustrating

**paokun** · 23-03-05, 09:37 PM

Hi everyone,
I'm new to this homepage.
I'd just like to ask everyone your opinions.
When I have a girlfriend I tend to give all of me, because I think she is the most important thing to me.
So I want her to be all mine, when I start a relationship I want it to last forever, so I think I wanna marry with her.

Now I am dating with my second girlfriend, after dating with one for 4 years and a half. With my ex-gf I actually didnt do sex, just like touching or everything else, but not like having a complete sex. It was long to wait, she was afraid, I respected her and I was patient, though it was a really long time.

Now that I have a new girlfriend, I cant stop thinking about her past. She also had a boyfriend before, they dated for about 2 years and did everything.
So now that I'm with her I cant stop asking her 'so you did this as well with him, right?'.
With my ex-gf I did anything, travelling, singing, going to concerts, whatever. My present gf didnt do any of these things, but she had sex with her ex-bf.

Anyway, I dont think I should separate with her just because she had sex with her ex-bf, but on the other side I cant stop imagining her being f****d by her ex.

I'd like to hear your opinion about this..her past is becoming our main topic of discussion and it can't continue like this. What should I do?

**Dymondgirl** · 23-03-05, 09:49 PM

If you continue to keep this a topic of conversation only bad will come of it. Be secure with yourself and live in the now. I was with the same person for 16 years and now Im with some1 new for 4 months. I know he feels threatened by my ex but he doesnt show it. He's asked me if he's better in bed then him and other questions but i think the best thing for you to do get everything out in the open and then put it to bed...

**mhussain** · 24-03-05, 06:26 AM

dont ask that which will hurt you.

also she is not with her ex now is she. she is with u?

what does that tell u?

Hussain

**jolovessim** · 24-03-05, 06:38 AM

hey i used to be like that with my boyfriend. your insecure about it? i got over it by just 'acting' confident, n like i didnt care. after a while it began to stick, and i dont care anymore.

**Dymondgirl** · 24-03-05, 08:31 AM

The secure man is such a turn on..be confident in yourself! And their right she is with u now thats all that matters..lol

**skybeam** · 24-03-05, 09:52 AM

When youre young you have a harder time to accept previous lovers. Its something that grows on you and you begin to accept it. Eventually youll actually be surprised the person only slept with 20 people in their lives. ( i personally know someone who has slept with over 300 people in their life he was a promoter)
You should count yourself lucky she only slept with one person.
People learn to forget and move on,... not just because she slept with someone else you must think lower of her.

**Only-virgins** · 24-03-05, 03:50 PM

Originally Posted by paokun

on the other side I cant stop imagining her being f****d by her ex.

I have this problem always. If it bothers you then drop her and leave. Its really simple.

**Only-virgins** · 24-03-05, 03:51 PM

Originally Posted by skybeam

When youre young you have a harder time to accept previous lovers.

Why do we have to accept anything? Who made the rule that this is something that "MUST" be accepted?

300 people? thats discusting....20 is to much...One turns me off already anways.

None of this is about quantity...Your either a virgin or not.

**paokun** · 24-03-05, 06:30 PM

Hi guys,
thanks for the replies, I'd like to hear something more-
anyway what i dont like is also the fact that she slept with that one because she was thinking 'how poor he is, he is so lonely, no one cares about him', so without loving him she became her boyfriend. and moreover, before they became bf-gf, once he came at her house and while she was sleeping he did it to her so that she was not virgin anymore. anyway..our way of thinking is similar and she is the prettiest woman i've ever met, so i must think hard before coming up with a dicision.

another thought is..now that i'm 23 if i wanna date with a virgin i must search among young girls..and if not, a girl that is 23 y-o and has never done it it means that she is not pretty..isnt it right?

anyway..it's not easy, just i wonder how i could wait for 4 years and a half for my ex-gf to do it, that was the only thing we didnt do, so i dont know what's better:
my past, in which i did everything with my ex-gf but not sex,
or my gf's past, which she even didnt hold hands going out with her ex-bf, never travelled, never went shopping together or to a restaurant, but just did sex sometimes?

about the fact she prefers me or her ex-bf..her ex-bf was always angry about whatever she was saying and he was hitting and hurting her so much..so obviously i'm better than him. if just i did sex with my ex-gf i'm sure i wouldnt think about her past.

alright..see you later:-)

**Dymondgirl** · 24-03-05, 08:39 PM

She told you she slept with him out of pity? thats really something. no wonder your so worried about all this!

**paokun** · 24-03-05, 09:35 PM

well, she always went to a catholic school and never had anything to do with guys, so understanding the culture of her country, she really didnt think of the possibility that that guy could do such a thing. she regrets it so much and cant stop saying that.

about the fact that she slept with him without loving him, she was thinking 'maybe one day i will fall in love with him' or things like that. anyway..now she seems really regretting it. because of that guy she went for 3 months to the hospital, she went like crazy, and after she met me she became fine day by day, so now she is so much grateful to me.

everything is fine..just i hate thinking about her past. why love cant be perfect..

**Dymondgirl** · 24-03-05, 09:54 PM

My boyfriend is 22 and told me he's been with 14 different girls already. I've only been with 5 and they where relationships, his wasn't. I guess because I'm older that stuff doesn't bother me anymore. There is NOTHiNG you can do about it and it was before you came into the picture. Everyone has a past of their own. Good or bad just love the person your with and stop thinking so damn much...lol

**jolovessim** · 25-03-05, 02:27 AM

i wouldnt have gone out with my boyfriend unless he was a virgin lol which i guess is really sad. but both my brother and an ex boyfriend raped me, so sexual partners are very very important to me. the less the better. if youve read my other post youll know he fooled around with a girl when he was younger, and that bothers me so much. nothing i can do bout it though so whatever lol i just have to trust hes not the kind to take sexual stuff for granted anymore

**Only-virgins** · 25-03-05, 11:41 AM

Stop whinning already and just leave her. It obviously bothers you.

**LightOn** · 25-03-05, 09:38 PM

Originally Posted by mhussain

dont ask that which will hurt you.

also she is not with her ex now is she. she is with u?

what does that tell u?

Hussain

Great post!

Paokun,
One of the hardest things about Love is ACCEPTING the others past. Now start doing it!

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