How do you "flirt" with a girl? And how do you know if she's "flirting" with you?

**Indestructible** · 24-10-12, 01:49 AM

As a guy who's had zero experience with dating or any of that stuff, and am currently trying to wrap my head around how two people come together, I'm curious about how "flirting" works in the first place.

Now, I wouldn't say I'm bad with girls. I'm usually a bit reserved and distant around new people in general, but after meeting with them a few times, I loosen up and be myself. I'm usually pretty friendly with girls in general, and I enjoy making them laugh (or trying to, anyway), playfully teasing, and developing banter. But what separates all that from "flirting"?

And more than that, how do you know if a girl A) is responding positively to your flirting, and B) is "flirting" with you?

This whole concept has always gone over my head, because in my mind, "flirting" is typically a bit more "suggestive" than simple joking around, playful teasing, and banter, and I... have concern about potentially offending someone or saying/ doing something inappropriate. So, I've always chosen to not "walk the line" at all, just to avoid that risk.

**BackUpOrGetStng** · 24-10-12, 03:02 AM

Flirting is a waste of time. Teasing and banter are good, but only when it's natural. Don't focus on trying to inject it in conversation. Don't worry about whether the girl likes you or not. Just ask her out within the first couple times of meeting her, and make a move on her during the first couple of dates. If she doesn't go for it, move on. It's simple and it eliminates the confusion and wondering, and the fact that you're not hanging on their every word makes them more likely to want to see you again even if they reject you initial advance. Also, don't worry about offending people. Just be you and if they don't like it, move on.

**Love'sReject** · 24-10-12, 03:05 AM

Originally Posted by Indestructible

As a guy who's had zero experience with dating or any of that stuff, and am currently trying to wrap my head around how two people come together, I'm curious about how "flirting" works in the first place.

Now, I wouldn't say I'm bad with girls. I'm usually a bit reserved and distant around new people in general, but after meeting with them a few times, I loosen up and be myself. I'm usually pretty friendly with girls in general, and I enjoy making them laugh (or trying to, anyway), playfully teasing, and developing banter. But what separates all that from "flirting"?

And more than that, how do you know if a girl A) is responding positively to your flirting, and B) is "flirting" with you?

This whole concept has always gone over my head, because in my mind, "flirting" is typically a bit more "suggestive" than simple joking around, playful teasing, and banter, and I... have concern about potentially offending someone or saying/ doing something inappropriate. So, I've always chosen to not "walk the line" at all, just to avoid that risk.

I have to say, though, 2nd poster is pretty spot-on.

I think very similarly. Hell, I'm not even in the process of taking things further with a girl; I don't even know any! I'm too trying to wrap my mind around it, hence I asked a question about it, not for any application because my dating years are long gone but just to understand it.

**Maple1714** · 24-10-12, 05:02 AM

I think that "flirting" just happens naturally when two people are attracted to each other. They joke easily...laugh...touch each other playfully. It just happens.

**Love'sReject** · 24-10-12, 05:11 AM

Originally Posted by Maple1714

I think that "flirting" just happens naturally when two people are attracted to each other. They joke easily...laugh...touch each other playfully. It just happens.

But then how does one or the other or both know the other is flirting and just being playful and friendly? Ambiguity, hooray!

**BackUpOrGetStng** · 24-10-12, 05:18 AM

You stop being a pussy, and make a move to kiss her. Boom, you have your answer.

**Maple1714** · 24-10-12, 05:24 AM

Originally Posted by Love'sReject

But then how does one or the other or both know the other is flirting and just being playful and friendly? Ambiguity, hooray!

Someone makes a real move....like Backup says...you go in for a kiss and take things to another level! You can tell if someone finds you attractive....you can feel it.

**Love'sReject** · 24-10-12, 05:39 AM

Originally Posted by BackUpOrGetStng

You stop being a pussy, and make a move to kiss her. Boom, you have your answer.

Originally Posted by Maple1714

Someone makes a real move....like Backup says...you go in for a kiss and take things to another level! You can tell if someone finds you attractive....you can feel it.

Touché...although this is a litigation/retalation America these days; one might get slapped literally or figuratively with some legal action. That and/or ruin something in the foolish pursuit.

Well, girls are WAY harder to read as far as signals in their being attracted to a guy: They either mistakenly or deliberately are misleading.

**iamaninnocentma** · 24-10-12, 06:18 AM

Originally Posted by Love'sReject

Touché...although this is a litigation/retalation America these days; one might get slapped literally or figuratively with some legal action. That and/or ruin something in the foolish pursuit.

Well, girls are WAY harder to read as far as signals in their being attracted to a guy: They either mistakenly or deliberately are misleading.

You. Will. Die. A. Virgin.

**BackUpOrGetStng** · 24-10-12, 06:28 AM

Originally Posted by Love'sReject

Touché...although this is a litigation/retalation America these days; one might get slapped literally or figuratively with some legal action. That and/or ruin something in the foolish pursuit.

Well, girls are WAY harder to read as far as signals in their being attracted to a guy: They either mistakenly or deliberately are misleading.

Like I said. Stop being a pussy. You're not going to get hit with legal action for trying to kiss a girl and if you are, it will get laughed out of court. You won't ruin anything, because if the girl likes you, she'll be glad you kissed her. Otherwise, there was nothing to ruin other than your fantasy of the girl liking you. You're a pussy. Stop being a pussy, and you'll be fine. Continue being a pussy, and well, like InnocentMan said..you'll die a virgin, and deservedly so.

**Love'sReject** · 24-10-12, 06:38 AM

Yeah, I probably will die one. Whoopdedoo. That's irrelevant to the thread.

**BackUpOrGetStng** · 24-10-12, 07:09 AM

Is that all you got from my post? If so, you're hopeless.

**Love'sReject** · 24-10-12, 07:11 AM

Well, no, but I don't have any opportunities presently to try out your advice.

**BackUpOrGetStng** · 24-10-12, 08:23 AM

Well, if you have any sort of social life, or even just a work life, there should be some interaction with women. Do you live in a monastery?

**Love'sReject** · 24-10-12, 08:42 AM

BASICALLY do.

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