ILWA - you know this is hopeless or you wouldn't be posting here. I am sorry for what happened to you, Cerby is right and this is a terrible thing she has done to you. If you can bail on the move, do so. If you are committed to going, never EVER contact her again. You were a man willing to take a huge risk for love. She stomped all over your beautiful gesture. She doesn't deserve you. Find a woman who will appreciate your finer qualities.
Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
--Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh