Should I give my husband a chance? I need help this is killing me.

[trinity137]

This may be a bit long but I need advice bad. I left my husband on less than stellar terms. He had a construction job that kept him away a lot, and when he would be home he was so tired he didn't even want to eat just sleep. H moved us in with his mother after his father died, to help her keep the house that chase bank was trying to forclose on. Money was getting tight and his family didn't approve of me and took every oppertunity to make my life hell. There was a lot of stress for both of us. I did act up some trying to get his attention. I few months later his ex girlfriend finds him via FB. they have know each other for almost 20 years and he says she is like his sis now, she is married and has 2 boys with her husband. He started to rely on her to get to work to save money that would have been spent on gas. Some nights I would get a call from him saying he just got off work and was gonna crash there for the night. He said he was not cheating and I trust him just not her. well the pressure and stress got to be to much for me I've and I left via hubbard house. he still has the kids and takes good care of them. About a month ago my brother came down to visit and couldn't find me, my husband was honest to him and my brother beat him down, my husband didn;t even fight back. How do I know? My brother tract me down. Since then apparently he has been putting my husband through hell to prove he wants me back. He booted out his sis, told his mom to shut it or he would stop helping her keep the house, quit his job and is trying to find one where he wouldn;t negelct his family,and told his friend of almost 20 years to stay away and file a trespass warrent on her. I'm scared to trust him, I don't want to be hurt like that again, I also met a man 3 week ago that has made me happy and he says he is willing to wait for a divorce. Part of me still loves my husband but I can't take the risk of things going back to what they were. My bro has been pushing for me to give him a chance but take it slow, my mom, aunt, and grams agree with him. I don't know what I should do I need help.

[ms2012uk]

Hey Trinity.

I guess take things slow with your new boyfriend. I guess that your new boyfriend is (if your being honest) so you can "test" yourself to see how much you love him? right?

Also, It sounds like you and your "husband" could really do with a long chat. You have obviously known each other for a very very long time, and it would almost seem a shame to throw everything away. Try and think of all the good things that your husband has to offer, and if you were truly happy in your relationship.

Your new boyfriend sounds positive - maybe it would be a good step forward. Use it as an opportunity to have a "break" from your husband. Tell him that you do want to take things slow though.

[lylufy]

As you said, your husband did not have much trying for coming back, right?
Is he want you as you want him? You must think deep this point. Was that your husband's emotion weak ???
If you give him a chance, he would be better with you or not sure that?
For me, If you want to come to him again, be careful considering and slow down processing.
Your new boyfriend is a good choice, I think he is worth to you, but also understand him more.
Good luck !

[InYourFACE]

Yoou know first i was all on your side. but i know people love to come here and tell storys of one side and like they are a angel and the other person that isnt here to defent themsellves is the only problem.

I think its stupid of you to agree with hm to go sleep at another woman's house.. you should have not trust none of them.
its like putting fire with gas, and say i trust the fire but not the gas. stupid!

And is this story is true. i think its stupid off your husband to put you in that situation and then dont care for what his mother
which is the reason everyone is in that situation even open her mouth.
When you marry your husband and kids are first.

Honestly i would not agree with no one to go and live with no mother to save no house.
let her manage her own shit. she is ungrateful 2.
and why doesn't they like you? cause if you are a angel i bet they would love you. so
maybe you are a bitch to!

And i didnt get it so well that you would leave and dont take your kids. as a woman i would for shore take my kids.

and next time know what marrage is before you jump into it.
cause marriage is about good and bad times.
and when someone runs into the arms of another men or wants to just divorce every time there is bad times
makes me only think that they dont even know what marriage is.

if here is no abuse in any kind of way or he cheated on you , i dont think you should think about divorce.
you are naive to , to believe another men that you barely know.
there is no garenty that you would not get hurt.
but i think if there is love there and he respect you, you should now
draw your line and let him know what you respect from him .
like have a really serious talk with him, and make things you want to be change clear and
dont just go with the flow but let him know what you think 2.
and take things slow with your husband, let him know how serious you are.

its stupid to jump to other men , this other men could be worse. while you just divorce cause you where hurt cause of a old stupid mother in law. and you are married, so its not okay to do that. and your kids may get some kind of hate toward woman knowing that.

if you want to do that, divorce first.
but is it worth it/? i think divorce is noting easy and its not fr when you meat someone else.
but its if a really last option in very bad situations like abuse and cheating etc.
but right now you want to use it cause you are just hurt.

so when this new dude hurts you , you will jump to the next one?