Can You Figure Out this Conversation?

[smackie9]

He is treating you like a hooker except there is no money being exchanged....he talks, you listen then you have sex....it's pretty clear to me what is going on here.

[In Memoriam]

Yes, that's right, dear. Keep trying, eventually someone without a clue will tell you what you want to hear.

One wonders why you keep seeking yet more validation.

^What?

As I said: women blow everything out of proportion or read too much into absolutely everything. I don't even know what you mean by "validation", but I'm sure you attached some nonexistent meaning to me asking for male input, just because I disagree with yours. You seem to simply not like the fact that I disagree with your analysis of the situation.

God, I hate most women (no offense).

[Wakeup]

Nevermind anything you've read from me and the others, if he's married he deserves you.

[In Memoriam]

He is treating you like a hooker except there is no money being exchanged....he talks, you listen then you have sex....it's pretty clear to me what is going on here.

I've heard everything at this point. Free hooker, rebound, affair...

I'm totally convinced that you are boarderline personalit disordered. Nevermind anything you've read from me and the others, if he's married he deserves you.

You believe that I cannot possibly be developing feelings with a man I've known for a couple of weeks...yet you've never even met me, and you're diagnosing me with a disorder. Do you not see the hypocrisy here? Please do not take that to offense, but just observe what you're doing there.

[Wakeup]

I've heard everything at this point. Free hooker, rebound, affair...

You forgot "nutcase"

[smackie9]

Listen dear, he skirted around your question, for a reason. He doesn't want a relationship....he was perfectly happy with the way things are and now you had to go ruin it with wanting "commitment". To pacify the ordeal he throws a "Lets go do something, just you and I". This is an old tactic to make you think that he is considering it, but in reality he is trying to avoid it. He is going to say things like that to string you along until he finds a replacement. You put him in the hot seat, now he is thinking of a way to get out of it or to work around it.

[smackie9]

You are the one that is blowing this relationship out of proportion. He is just using you for sex, and you are too caught up in your own fairy tale fantasy, that "Oh he is just in denial" "I know he must feel something for me like the way I do for him"....classic nutcase scenario. If it was me I would be running for the hills. You just wait....the texting, messages, and calls with start to peter out to zero soon enough.

[Wakeup]

You believe that I cannot possibly be developing feelings with a man I've known for a couple of weeks...yet you've never even met me, and you're diagnosing me with a disorder. Do you not see the hypocrisy here? Please do not take that to offense, but just observe what you're doing there.

Was I wrong in the diagnosis? What is it actually then?

Anyway, I do believe that you believe that what your feeling is actually "love" (in a matter of hours ~ not weeks since you've not spent the entire two weeks with him) that's why I think you have some "ism"

[In Memoriam]

You are the one that is blowing this relationship out of proportion. He is just using you for sex, and you are too caught up in your own fairy tale fantasy, that "Oh he is just in denial" "I know he must feel something for me like the way I do for him"....classic nutcase scenario. If it was me I would be running for the hills. You just wait....the texting, messages, and calls with start to peter out to zero soon enough.

Wow.

Point to where I said he was in denial. Please do, because I do not remember saying that. Point to where I said anything about how he must feel, because I don't remember saying anything about his feelings. Besides what I've been told, all I said about him was that he's a decent guy.

I'd really like to stop the arguing...I see it's coming to words being put in my mouth and people who may or may not have a degree in psychology diagnosing me with some kind of "ism" based on internet communication alone.

[IndiReloaded]

How old are you? Have you even been in a longterm relationship? If so, I'd be curious to know what happened. You seem to have a problem with... pacing. You are wanting to charge on and he's saying 'whoa nelly'. Twice, btw. His non-committal response to your love declaration and your request to be his GF.

You came online asking for an interpretation of the conversation. I told you it means NO. Sorry its not what you want to hear.

You believe that I cannot possibly be developing feelings with a man I've known for a couple of weeks.

fwiw, I *do* think people can fall in love in such a short time. But the problem here is again, pacing. He's not that into you by all the signs you've given. Sex is a poor indicator, particularly for a man coming out of what sounds like a hurtful relationship.

Carry on, but I think you're going to get shredded if you don't get a grip on your feelings for this man. In his case, with him being separated (I suspect), its not even a matter of him wanting to love you. He probably just *can't* at this point. Your declaration would be like adding salt to an open wound. Emotional intensity is probably the last thing he wants.

Think about it.

[In Memoriam]

^I thank you for a sensible reply without personal attacks or too many baseless assumptions.

However, I will say that so many females posting in the 'ask a male' subforum completely defeats the purpose of the separate 'ask a female' and 'ask a male' subforums. o.O

[IndiReloaded]

As for his talking about his ex-wife, I really doubt that he still has positive feelings for her. She was very abusive. Anytime he talks about her, there's usually a lot of cursing involved (b itch, c unt, w hore, etc.).

Just so you know, him speaking to you like this about his ex *is* a 'red flag'. Think about it: you are pretty much a stranger to him (sorry, but the truth). A few weeks only you say. Yet he talks about his *wife* to a *stranger* this way? You don't see that as having issues? Or at least still being very damaged by his relationship with her? Personally, I'd be mortified to use those kinds of words about someone who was even my ex to a stranger (even one I was f-ucking). Its not respectful to him, her or (if you think about it)--you.

Whatever works for you though.

[IndiReloaded]

^I thank you for a sensible reply without personal attacks or too many baseless assumptions.

However, I will say that so many females posting in the 'ask a male' subforum completely defeats the purpose of the separate 'ask a female' and 'ask a male' subforums. o.O

You are welcome. As for the forum, take what works for you and ignore the rest. I think for a living so I'm not into baseless assumptions. I am, however, extremely good at making inference from limited data. You, my dear, aren't seeing this situation clearly. Wakeup and Smackie's delivery may not be academic (Wakeup tries but isn't a professional), but they are pretty good at calling it as it is based on their experience. I'd think about what they are telling you.

[In Memoriam]

^I figured I wasn't.

It's interesting how everyone seems to be operating under the assumption that he's some a sshole trickster, and seems to be mad that I'm not.
I don't know.

I guess I'll just see where it goes then. Honestly, I'm more confused now than I was before (quite an unfortunate theme I'm seeing with this situation). Oh well.

[Wakeup]

Well, I have no experience in falling in love in two weeks but we do have a friend (male btw)who got "shredded" from an online whirlwind affair with a lying adultress. There were so many similar red flags to your story (and thousands that have come to this forum) but you "tend to not think about red flags because they seem like they'd cause angst" or something like that (can't remember what you said exactly). If you care about your emotional well being, then you'll observe a little more and "love" a lot slower until you figure him out and know through experience (not just what he's told you) that he's not still married. You might also want get out of denial mode and realize (don't have to be a man (or a "professional" to know this) that he has told you twice now that he is not on the same page as you are. Knowing that, should instictively have you backing away emotionally. Common sense is all one needs to tap into.
Do you have his phone number, does he answer when you call or does it go to voice mail. Does he keep in touch daily or just when he wants another go?

It's interesting how everyone seems to be operating under the assumption that he's some a sshole trickster,

Its because of how he handled your confession and the fact that he conveniently works every weekend. Why do you think he's going to even have time for you if he works every bloody weekend? Gah!
Anyway, why don't you wait and see if he starts to show less interest (as smackie pointed out) before wondering any more about what the conversation meant. As I said you're going to likely learn the hard way. Are you new to online dating?

You didn't answer indie on her question bout your age (least I didn't see it) how old are you? (and he for that matter).