Letting go after great relationship

[snowbird268]

My girlfriend and I broke up about 2 weeks ago and I'm having trouble letting go. The relationship was great, for the both of us. We had many good times with each other, and fell in love with each other in the span of 5 months. I know it's a short time, I think that our level of care, love and trust for each other is rare. We gave each other love without reservation, care without expectation, and trust without doubt.
We didn't expect it to end, but she realized that she needed to take time off to pursue her dreams and reach her potential. So we ended it sooner rather than later. I didn't want to break up but I couldn't deny her best interest. We've taken a week off from seeing each other, and then we've been in contact as friends. After a hard conversation that left us both in tears, we've decided to take 2 months off from seeing each other, just to let go. We still care for each other, we've done things to try to ease each other's pain. Also, we still love each other, and told each other that there is a special place reserved in each of our hearts for the other.
I've been heartbroken ever since the split, I feel like I've lost the love of my life.
I'm having trouble letting go of a great relationship and a non argumentative break up.

[IndiReloaded]

Be grateful for the time you had. You are fortunate to have had this kind of breakup. Perhaps you will meet again. Life is long. In the meantime, you sound like delightful young man. It is good that you will be able to share that goodness with other young women. Enjoy.

[jcowap]

Im in the same boat!

Me and my girlfriend broke up however the relationship was amazing! We got on so perfectly well! We had such a laugh together as we are bith silly random people! And we are also both very picky yet we liked each other enough go start seeing each other!

Reason why we split? She fell pregnant by accident and had an abortion (all her choice) and when she had the abortiom she wemt distant.
Tried everything i sensibly could do to get her back but failed :o(

So yeah im in the same boat and i think it makes it harder to get over knowing how perfect you both was together
I absolutely love her go bits however im at a point now where i realise i cant get her back, i just cant stop thinking about her

[HeartIsAching]

I love these posts where it was wonderful for both, yet they broke up.

Sorry OP, it was more wonderful for you than her. There is no "pursue her dreams and reach her potential. " that couldn't have included you, if you were both willing to make changes for it. She was done with the relationship, and let you down easy. I'm glad for you that it was amicable.

[HeartIsAching]

BTW, if you weren't the love of HER life, then what you've got to hang onto is that she wasn't "the one" for you either - yours is still out there somewhere.

[snowbird268]

Hi, thanks for your replies. Heartisaching, you might have a point. But I trust her when she said it wasn't the right time for a relationship. She is a brutally honest person, and when we talked after the break up, she showed every sign of consistency with her story.
We're taking 2 months off to fully get over each other. After that, I still intend to tell her that I want to be with her in the future, when the circumstances are right. She has left her options open, when it comes to our relationship, because she said that she can't guarantee we will be together in the future, which isn't a 'NO'
I don't want to give up on this hope. I would regret it for a long time if I do give up here.

[wadhwaharish87]

Bro just move on , time is great healer. Don't feel bad for the girl who broke the relation just because of her dreams.dreams can also be fulfilled by having a relationship.

[Cerby]

jcowap, your relationship was different and far from perfect, you got her pregnant in the first month, she decided that was enough and ended it. The whole debacle was like 4 months top (if I remember correctly) and most of it was trying to figure out the emotional damage of the abortion. Not even comparable.

snowbird, your ex has done a great job of letting you down easy, and that is what you need to accept from it. Don't read into it any further because there is a reality you haven't yet realized, but you will once the fog starts to clear and you see this situation for what it is. I'll leave out my obvious statements because I think you aren't ready to see it yet.

[snowbird268]

Cerby, is the message that I don't have a chance with her?

[Cerby]

Not at all, my message that she nicely let you down, but that was it. If the love is mutual, a relationship will find a way, especially when you're young, stupid, and in love. Kudos to her for not killing you, but leaving hope behind is also a dangerous thing. I sadly don't think you'll ever get back together, but I might be wrong.

[snowbird268]

thanks, I'll keep that in mind. You're right about hope being a dangerous thing. It's the one thing I've been holding on to all this time. This is something I will have to let go in order to heal, right?
Then I guess the best option is to fully let go, without hope of getting back together. As much as I hate that, I realize that any other way will infringe on her free will.

[IndiReloaded]

Remaining hopeful and letting go aren't mutually exclusive. What you need is to remain open to all possibilities and be thankful for this one, as I already said.

Its true you may never get back together. But that is more about how life works than you two not being compatible. There are *many* people we are compatible with, of course. Be open. Enjoy whatever comes.

[jcowap]

jcowap, your relationship was different and far from perfect, you got her pregnant in the first month, she decided that was enough and ended it. The whole debacle was like 4 months top (if I remember correctly) and most of it was trying to figure out the emotional damage of the abortion. Not even comparable.

snowbird, your ex has done a great job of letting you down easy, and that is what you need to accept from it. Don't read into it any further because there is a reality you haven't yet realized, but you will once the fog starts to clear and you see this situation for what it is. I'll leave out my obvious statements because I think you aren't ready to see it yet.

Cerby - we dated for 3 months and was official for just over a month. Enough time to fall completely in love with her. It was very perfect apart from the pregnancy and if it hadnt of happened, i feel we would still be together.

None of this time was spent trying to figure out any emotional damage from the abortion. This was done when we split and to be honest, we didnt discuss any emotional damage afterwards at all because she closed up and shut me out. She puts on a front and acts as if everything is ok.

None of us did anything wrong
None of us argued

[IndiReloaded]

The stories are different b/c of how they ended: OP & partner are on good terms. You, jcopwap, are not. That's a big difference right there.

[jcowap]

We ended on not sp good terms but then again not bad terms and then weeks later we got back in touch and had a major laugh afterwards via texting however i put a stop to it and told her i cant be her friend. So was nice that my last bit of communication was positive snd funny and we woukd still be in contact now but i need to get over her.

I been told by a lot of people that if you continue to hold onto hope , you wont heel. Even if its what you want more than anything! You just have to accept its over and move on. Maybe the dumper will come back into our lives one day? But this isnt something we can hold on to.

This has helped me a lot. Ive accepted its over now but that did take a lot! its one of the stages of healing.
I do still love her very much, think about her all the time and it kills me but ive got it set in my mind now she wont be coming back and i reccomend you get to this stage.

Yes my relationship was perfect till she realised she was pregnant, it was the best start to a relationship ive ever had and itbwas a shame that it had to end because of it all but i guess our relationship wasnt strong enough to survive. Its something that will haunt me forever