i was away for a few months and my girlfriend doesn't love me any more

[alexandertb]

So,here's my story :
My girlfriend and I were together for 6 months.She really loved me,we had fun in bed(she finished first always),we had good moments together but also some bad moments ( we didn't cheat on each other ,just small argues)..
Then ,after we were together 6 months,I had to go to work in another country.She said she'll wait for me.She suffered a lot while i was away from her,i suffered too.
While i was away working,we chatted every day,sometimes we spoke on the phone and she told me she loves me.
But now,when there is only 1 week until i get back home ,she tells me that it has been so long time that she hasn't seen me,that se doesn't feel anything for me.She can't even be happy that i come back,and she doesn't want to be with me anymore.She told me she didn't cheat on me( i truly believe her) ,but there is one thing: I asked her if she has another boy,and she told me that she is just chatting with that boy(i believe her)
I think ,she was so sad without me that she began chatting with that boy,until she almost forgot me.
We planned that we meet again when i come back from this country where i am now,because i bought her some sweets which she wanted to have (but we meet only as friends ,and she told me not to make useless hope that we'll be together again...)

My only hope is that when she'll see me again,her feelings for me will come alive and she'll be again in love with me.
I wanted to ask,how should i act when i meet her again in one week. ( now she is cold to me ,we don't chat that much..)

Please tell me your opinion,
thank you a lot

[vashti]

You don't say how long you were overseas, but a 6 month relationship is hard to sustain with any significant separation. It sounds like she just couldn't do it, and that doesn't mean she is "bad". Sometimes things don't work out because the timing is bad.

Quite honestly, I don't see the point in giving her the sweets. She has already moved on. There is little else for you to do but the same. If you insist on seeing her one more time, I think you should cut all contact afterwards, so you can have time to heal.

[alexandertb]

i forgot to mention i was overseas for 75 days and in one week i'm home.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

She's most likely ****ing this other guy. Don't even call her when you get back.

[Maple1714]

So,here's my story :
My girlfriend and I were together for 6 months.She really loved me,we had fun in bed(she finished first always),we had good moments together but also some bad moments ( we didn't cheat on each other ,just small argues)..
Then ,after we were together 6 months,I had to go to work in another country.She said she'll wait for me.She suffered a lot while i was away from her,i suffered too.
While i was away working,we chatted every day,sometimes we spoke on the phone and she told me she loves me.
But now,when there is only 1 week until i get back home ,she tells me that it has been so long time that she hasn't seen me,that se doesn't feel anything for me.She can't even be happy that i come back,and she doesn't want to be with me anymore.She told me she didn't cheat on me( i truly believe her) ,but there is one thing: I asked her if she has another boy,and she told me that she is just chatting with that boy(i believe her)
I think ,she was so sad without me that she began chatting with that boy,until she almost forgot me.
We planned that we meet again when i come back from this country where i am now,because i bought her some sweets which she wanted to have (but we meet only as friends ,and she told me not to make useless hope that we'll be together again...)

My only hope is that when she'll see me again,her feelings for me will come alive and she'll be again in love with me.
I wanted to ask,how should i act when i meet her again in one week. ( now she is cold to me ,we don't chat that much..)

Please tell me your opinion,
thank you a lot

She is probably sleeping with this other guy...but that doesn't really matter anyway. What matter's is that she told you she didn't want to be with you anymore...so there you go. You have to move on...that is all there is to it. Do not meet her as friends or any of that bullshit. You are right, you went away and she got lonely and looked from companionship/possibly sex somewhere else. If all it took for her to move on was for you to go to another country for a little while, then the relationship wasn't going to work out anyway. Physical distance/space does 1 of 2 things - (1) makes the heart grow fonder and pushes the relationship into the next phase or (2) both people or one of you realizes they aren't really in love and decides to move on. I am sorry this happened to you, but everyone gets dumped sometimes... :/

[Wakeup]

I'm not sure that she's sleeping with the other guy. I'd think she would just tell Op that to get rid of him if she were. Why lie when there is absolutely no reason to lie and every reason (for her) to tell the truth.

I agree with Vashti, Op. I think you should forget about giving her the sweets and ignore her when you get back. If she actually wonders where you are and what happened to you, then she will contact you. You can gauge then (if she contacts you) whether or not you want to still want to be with her, a girl who couldn't keep you in her heart for a measly 75 days without losing feelings for you.. It almost is like she never really had any REAL ones to begin with.

There are many women out there that won't be as fickle with their romantic feelings ~ try one or two of them and
forget miss "out-of-sight-out-of-mind."

[Maple1714]

I'm not sure that she's sleeping with the other guy. I'd think she would just tell Op that to get rid of him if she were. Why lie when there is absolutely no reason to lie and every reason (for her) to tell the truth.

No, I think she is lying about the no sex part...b/c if not she would be admitting that she cheated...and when you are in love one day and then not the next (75 day span) probably means she has been ****ing someone else.

[Wakeup]

No, I think she is lying about the no sex part...b/c if not she would be admitting that she cheated...and when you are in love one day and then not the next (75 day span) probably means she has been ****ing someone else.

yes, I understand what you meant. I'm saying I don't think she has any reason to lie so she probable wasn't having sex with the other guy. She doesn't want to be with the OP so why would she spare his feelings? Why not just say "Yes, I have had sex with the other guy and it's over between you and I" (or something similar).

In otherwords: She has no motive to lie if she doesn't want to keep OP as her bf.

[alexandertb]

So ,look what happened today( 3 days after she told me she wants to break up with me) :She started chatting me on my mobile .this is the conversation :

She: "Give me a sign when you wake up tomorrow :-* " (yesterday at 00:14) --> i was asleep at that time
Me : "Hello" ( today at 06:00)
She: "How are you?"( today 06:00)
She:"Sorry that i didn't talk to you that much yesterday,but i was very tired :-* " (she tells this because yesterday i asked her how was at her sister's wedding and she gave me only a brief answer, she said only that it was fine )
Me:"Are you not asleep at this time?"
She:"I don't feel very well"
She:"Have a nice day :-* "

Observe that se sends me a kiss (:-*) after almost every text she sends. I acted cool,I didn't send her any kiss or didn't say anything sweet to her. I am still overseas and i'll be back on sunday evening.
Should i act cool from now on or should i ask her now if she feels better,what should i do ?
I would like to save our relationship and be together again.

Thank you a lot.

[Wakeup]

Just keep letting her contact you. However: I think you should go no contact and try to get over her for good...
She doesn't know what she wants and trying to be the partner of someone who doesn't know what they want is like thinking you're loved by your fk buddy ~ You're hardly valued but they'll stick around for that one thing at least until their options open up.. Ugh!

[alexandertb]

hey guys guess what happened.. my girlfriend contacted me and told me how sorry she is for what she said to me ,and if i want to be again together with her,she would be very happy. she told that she doesn't know why she said those things and she appologized to me. ( oh my god these women are hard to understand).
Anyways ..thanks alot guys ,I felt i was not alone because of your help.Thank you very much for the support.I declare this case closed.