Hate this feeling

[Josh911]

About this girl, she is an independent person (she said it herself), she said before that if a guy would like to go after her, he needs to know tht she wants to hve space so tht she can spend time with her friends but not only with him, she wants to knw tht guy for at least 1year so she can see how is his personality like, she doesnt like texting, maybe 3-4 messages within few days is fine with her.

So I been trying to go after her for bout around 2months now. Shes been sending me mix signals, like every time I asked her out, she is willing to although shes busy, lots of eye contact, she tells me where she is/ what she doing without me asking when we text, planning when to go out again, blush when my friends disturb her saying tht I like her.

Bad part is tht although just 2months, I do still like her very much but I don't think I want to go after her anymore because I was thinking if I can only see her for about only once or twice a week, its very little time we have to spend together. Even now, if I want to ask her out, its quite hard because I am worry asking her out too often she will feel annoyed or getting friendzone. We are stdying in the same university but different schedule. And she be going to further her stdy in other country next year January.

What do you all think? Should I try harder or move on?

[Maple1714]

I think for now you should move on...seems like dating might not be a priority to her. It's annoying when people send you mixed signals and I decided a long time ago that it's a waste of time to chase after someone who isn't giving you as much attention back. Stop contacting her and let her come to you if she is really interested.

[DerekDrake]

You can try to tell her the truth about how you feel about her. Say you already know that she'll have her space. Say you're gonna tell her what's your personality without the need to know a guy for a year. Say you won't send a mass text messages to her for whatever reasons.

Now ask yourself, do you really believe that "only little time you can spend together" in the foreseeable future can work out? I'm serious, that ain't no rhetorical question. Do you think you(and her) can maintain long-distance relationship? For how long?

I'm also in a long-distance relationship and I tell you my girl is so patience that I can't be happier than now knowing she's waiting for me. So go man, make your choices!

[JB9]

I'd move on, seems you would prefer a relationship not a dating-ship. There's plenty of fish in the sea, go catch one!

[Josh911]

Thanks everyone for the advise

Its fine for me if we just date, get to know each other, but I just kinda disagree on just meeting up just for once/ twice a week, to me long distance relationship isn't really a problem because I had before a long distance relationship but my ex starts thinking all the wrong stuff and then broke up.
And I actually stop contacting her few times, but then she came back texting me saying we should meet up more, so its annoying this feelings.

[dickriculous]

What exactly is so bad about only seeing her once or twice a week? You know the healthiest, happiest marriage I've ever seen was two of my clients (I used to be a personal trainer) who were husband and wife, the wife was a radiologist with an unpredictable work schedule and the husband was out of town on business trips about every other week and only at home half the time, and when he was at home he had a work schedule to maintain. They appreciated all of the time they spent together, due in no small part to the fact that it was somewhat limited and their schedules and life in general essentially forced them to cherish each other and not take each other for granted.

On the other hand, the most unhealthy marriage I saw was another client of mine who's husband only worked half the year (he did something with golf courses, can't remember exactly but it only kept him working 6 months out of the year). The other 6 he was at home and she was a stay at home mom. They deeply loved each other for a long time but constantly being around and never having any time apart caused them to drive each other bat-shit INSANE. By the time I started training her (believe me, I heard their entire life story lmao) they basically hated each other and their marriage had fallen apart, their kids were getting into all kinds of trouble as a result and will probably have a lot of trouble finding a fulfilling relationship themselves due to the male/female dynamic they've been exposed to for their entire lives up to this point.

Another problem is how much you're stressing over this chick. I'm sure she's beautiful in many ways but putting the pussy on a pedestal is a recipe for disaster and that's exactly what you're doing by worrying so damn much. Listen to you, you're more worried about annoying her or being "friendzoned" than you are about what SHE can bring to the table in YOUR world. Wrong attitude brah.

As for the mixed signals it's just women being women. Don't over analyze them, just trust me on that one. Also, I give mixed signals to women I'm interested in too, I actually find it to be a lot more effective than professing my love for her and throwing myself at her. Besides, it's kinda fun. Something you might consider either for this girl or in the future.

[Blondi3]

Ok - you've talked alot about what she wants and the rules she's laid out that your trying to respect. What about what you want? Sounds like whether her rules are sensible or silly, they're not working for you. What about what you need?

If your starting a relationship then it should be as equals. She should be meeting you half way, not dictating the terms. And if your doing all the chasing... your never going to win. People treat you how you let them treat you - if you set out on the foot that you will make yourself unhappy for the sake of her comfort then you can expect her to take that for granted for the duration of your relationship.

Talk to her. Sounds like she's been upfront about what she needs. She might respect you for doing likewise. And if she doesn't then you've got your answer. But from what you've said I think this girl likes you. Most people put these kind of rules in place because they don't want to get hurt themselves. The fact that when you adhere to them she texts you, indicates that she's got a bit of insecurity about what your doing too - trying to protect herself while not looking too clingy. Call her on it and tell her what you need. Hell if your dating then you should be able to call her whenever you want and not worry about it - as long as your not calling her every hour.

[smackie9]

Josh just give it up. You have realized that you want different things, and that means you two are not compatible. Every girl you like and likes you doesn't mean there is a relationship to be had. You should have thought about your own relationship expectations before even considering dating her. It's two months and things are unsatisfactory to you,and if you are not happily in love and sharing a wonderful romance, then seek out someone who is more suited to your needs.

Tip: if she was that into you, she wouldn't be giving you the runaround after two months.

IMO you shouldn't have to work this hard to date someone.

[Josh911]

Yea, its true she did mention also she didn't want to get hurt so wants to have more space etc etc. I hardly call her honestly, because she said have a conversation face to face rather talking on phone and its not good for the ear.

I mention above before that I stop contacting her few times before, then she will text me saying like We have not gone out for long time/ Miss those time we have so much fun when we are hanging out. These what she said to me when i try to stop contacting her. My friends told me those are obvious sign of her liking me back.

[klouieybanez]

if ou realy like her then go after her!

[Josh911]

Hello everyone.

Recently i bought her macaroon ( her favorite ), so i text her sayin tht sry if im disturbin you, but i bought you some macaroon
her reply was aww... Tht so nice of you. And stop sayin you disturb me, you can text me anytime, jus maybe i forgot reply.

She said before tht she doesnt like guys texting her but few messages is alright.
Question here is m i gettin friendzone? Or she giving me hint im at the right track?

[surfhb]

Yes....you are her friend at this point. Date around and don't put all your eggs into one basket. Keep in touch once in awhile. It's clear you both are not on the same level

[Blondi3]

Well I think ... and this may be a wild suggestion.... she's telling you she thinks it's nice you bought her a macaroon and and she doesn't mind you texting her?

Seriously my point is stop second guessing everything - whatever you need to ask, just ASK. If you want the games to stop - then STOP PLAYING. You be open and honest with what your thinking and she's likely to follow suit.

[Maple1714]

Yeah, stop 2nd guessing everything that is very annoying and also do not apologize for things...when you said "sry if im disturbin you, but i bought you some macaroon"...annoying as well. Don't say you are sorry unless you did something really wrong.

[smackie9]

Hello everyone.

Recently i bought her macaroon ( her favorite ), so i text her sayin tht sry if im disturbin you, but i bought you some macaroon
her reply was aww... Tht so nice of you. And stop sayin you disturb me, you can text me anytime, jus maybe i forgot reply.

She said before tht she doesnt like guys texting her but few messages is alright.

Question here is m i gettin friendzone? Or she giving me hint im at the right track?

You are getting friend zoned the more you suck up to her. Play it cool and let her come to you. If she doesn't respond to that then she isn't that into you.