Why do men feel disgusted when their female partner cheats on them?

**smackie9** · 09-09-12, 05:49 PM

Maybe if you sent a pm to some of our male members they might feel more comfortable answering your question.

**searock** · 09-09-12, 06:09 PM

I'd feel "intruding" doing that...

**smackie9** · 10-09-12, 01:15 AM

I'm sure chumpdaddy1 would love to answer that for you.

**VincenzoG91** · 10-09-12, 01:51 AM

Originally Posted by searock

Exactly, this is the type of disgust I would expect. But men seem to be disgusted on a more physical level... they are physically repulsed by their cheating partner, they can't get themselves to even just kiss them because they feel like they have been somehow "ruined", on a physical level. This I don't quite understand.

Men are more visually oriented, and also look at a lot more porn than women. So when a guy lnows that his woman had sex with another guy, the mental image is more graphic. Cum oozing out of various orifices, including the mouth, for example.

**smackie9** · 10-09-12, 01:57 AM

Originally Posted by VincenzoG91

Men are more visually oriented, and also look at a lot more porn than women. So when a guy lnows that his woman had sex with another guy, the mental image is more graphic. Cum oozing out of various orifices, including the mouth, for example.

LOL! such details awesome!

**searock** · 10-09-12, 03:56 AM

I asked my boyfriend this question, and he gave this explanation: when a man has sex with a woman, he feels like she is "his", and when she has sex with someone else, it's like the other man "dirtied" her, in a very physical sense... the idea of his sperm touching her body is extremely disgusting, he said it's a bit like with dogs marking their territory... I think us women will ever truly understand the feeling! And I think that a lot of men (either consciously or subconsciously) regard being "dirtied" with sperm as an extremely degrading thing... which I think is absurd (and sexist, but hey it's not like they can help *feeling* that way).

Also, he said that this is the reason for which there is a big difference between a partner who cheats with a kiss/kisses, and a partner who cheats having sex... for me, as a woman, the only difference would be that if he got to the point to have sex, it means he pretty much decided it was a good idea, and that he valued a purely physical and temporary pleasure more than our relationship - whereas a kiss could be just "a mistake" in the spur of the moment.

He also told me an interesting thing: if his partner had sex with a man that he thinks is "inferior" to himself (in looks, personality, intellect, etc), he will lose even more respect for her, because it's like she "downgraded". I, on the other hand, would feel even more humiliated if he had sex (although what would hurt me the most would be an emotional affair) with a woman that I think is "inferior" to myself, because I would read it as a sign that I am worse than that woman. I found this pretty fascinating :-).

Oh and for the record - he also would feel a lot more hurt if I had an emotional affair, compared to a purely sexual affair.

Vincenzo: I'm not sure that's a valid explanation, because women are highly imaginative creatures when it comes to sex...

**smackie9** · 10-09-12, 05:09 AM

The reason we are emotional is that we are genetically nurturers (purpose for rearing children), and we are more forgiving when a man chooses to wonder because we ( at one time) depend on them for survival, and protection. Men are physical because it's in their genetic code to pass on their genes, having a mate cheat ruins their chances doing so and fearing they may end up raising children that are not his own, hence the sperm of another man "dirtying" or "tainting".

**searock** · 10-09-12, 05:13 AM

Originally Posted by smackie9

Men are physical because it's in their genetic code to pass on their genes, having a mate cheat ruins their chances doing so and fearing they may end up raising children that are not his own, hence the sperm of another man "dirtying" or "tainting".

Yep I was thinking the same thing :-). They feel disgusted at the thought of having sex with a woman who had sex with another man, because then who knows whose child it would be? It makes sense in a very natural way.

**IndiReloaded** · 10-09-12, 06:01 AM

Originally Posted by smackie9

The disgusting part is that they couldn't be honest and come forward to say they are unhappy with the relationship or want out.

This^. I'd thank it if I could! 'Digust' = strong feelings of something unpleasant.

**searock** · 10-09-12, 07:15 AM

I agree, and I'm pretty sure that both men and women feel disgusted in that general sense - my question was more about the purely physical disgust that (for the most part) only males seem to feel.

**IndiReloaded** · 10-09-12, 11:09 AM

It might be like learning someone just spat in the coffee you drank. Probably not a big deal but there's always the chance they could make you sick.

**searock** · 10-09-12, 04:21 PM

Good metaphor :-). Yes I think it does come down to "primitive instincts", nature makes them feel physically disgusted, to the point of not being able to have sex with a woman who had sex with someone else, otherwise if a child were to be born, it would be confusing because nobody would know who the father is (we have DNA testing now, but yeah). I think it's fascinating that the thing that disgusts them the most is precisely the thought of the other man's *sperm* touching the woman... it's so clear :-).

**iamaninnocentma** · 10-09-12, 10:51 PM

I wish some dude would rattle my woman. It would give me a good excuse to throw her lazy ass on the street. Thirty minutes ive been waiting for my lunch. Lazy bitch.

**Boisdevie** · 11-09-12, 12:05 AM

Originally Posted by searock

other man's *sperm* touching the woman... it's so clear

My sperm is more of a milky colour. According to my GF it doesn't taste like milk though.

**searock** · 11-09-12, 12:20 AM

Originally Posted by Boisdevie

My sperm is more of a milky colour. According to my GF it doesn't taste like milk though.

Very clever Boisdevie... anyway, do you think the explanation that was brought up is correct?

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