advice

[batki610]

Hi,

I am in graduate school and I got attached to a guy really easily. We talked for few months, and then perhaps because he got back with his girlfriend, and he started avoiding me. So what do I do, I pester him more through texts/calls to find out why he wasn't talking to me. This only pushed him away further, and then because I got too many people involved from class to find out why he was giving me the silent treatment, that annoyed him more. He knows I like him and he doesn't. He blocked me on facebook, completely cut me out of his life. We just finished 1st year of graduate program, and have 3 more years. He said he would never wanted to be friends before, didn't give me an explanation either. So basically it's been a year and few months, and I am wondering if he'll ever talk to me again? I have hurt him unintentionally because he is quiet and I made the situation so public that he is probably embarrassed. He smiles once in a while right now..I don't know if he is doing this because school is his priority and he doesn't want to deal with this or if he absolutely doesn't like me anymore? I just want to be civil with him, reestablish our friendship. I really like him, so when he treats me like this it obviously is painful, and I am sure he realizes this too. So what would possess this guy to continue ignoring me, will he ever come around and talk to me? Thank you.

[dannilyn]

have you tried walking up to him and ask whats wrong?

Maybe he's gf is obsessive and he would want to be caught talking to you or any girls. If he talks to other girls and not you. He must be upset at you.

Get your friend to start a conversation with him and see if its "girls" he's avoiding, or just "you".

[Ange Barnes]

I think perhaps pestering him with texts and phone calls as well as making the situation public has caused some damage. Let this guy move on (as well as yourself) and retain any integrity you both have left.

[batki610]

And I didn't purposely mean to create a fiasco, when I really needed him as a friend the most, he disappeared. That's why I kept trying to talk to him, not because I didn't respect the fact that he needed space. Will this ever blow over, and it's been so long, does anyone think he will talk to me when he is ready to? Thanks.

[haxan]

Guy and girl friendships don't work that way.

Either one likes the other and it ends the friendship. They both are attracted to each other and finally end up in bed. Or there's enough distance, respect, and/or professional space between them that they can be mutually attracted to each other but not put themselves in a vulnerable position to give in to the desire.

You're probably in the first position.

[IndiReloaded]

When I really needed him as a friend the most, he disappeared.

Friendship must be freely given. He didn't want to be there for you when you needed it. Then you tried to force it. Doesn't work that way.

Anyway, you aren't really wanting to be his friend. He's seeing someone else. You need to face reality and move on. Focus on your studies, grad school is challenging enough w/o a lot of personal drama in your life.